Is it crazy to think about leaving kids to get a job?

leftieM

I'm considering applying for jobs in GB but this would mean leaving my children with my husband for a month or more at a time. He would effectively be a single parent. I'm wondering if any women have done this? I know it's more 'normal' for men to do it - my own father did it - but I haven't heard of any mums doing it.

I retrained as a teacher nearly two years ago and, unfortunately, I have backed the wrong horse! There has been one job advertised in my subject since last summer and that was just a maternity cover post. I went for the interview yesterday, along with ten others, and didn't get the job. We are fighting for scraps over here in NI. There are very, very few jobs advertised.

I have been unemployed since Christmas and, although we can manage for a while, there is nothing left at the end of the month and we are eeking out a living on my husband's wage. We won't be able to pay for Christmas or any unplanned expenses on one wage. I don't get any money on JSA. I want to get experience teaching A-level and I may have a better chance getting a job in England (or maybe not!)

agrinnall

How old are your children, how easy will it be for your husband to fit their times around his working hours, is there other family help that you can call on, either regularly or in an emergency? As you say, men have done it for ever, it's more unusual for a woman but you can't be unique. Have you investigated the job market for teachers in England yet, I suspect it's not great either? And is the teaching qualification you have acceptable in England? I'd hope that it is, but I don't know if there are any significant differences in the curriculum in NI.

Oldernotwiser

What's your teaching subject and what degree do you have?

megtyler

i'm a woman and this is just based on my personal disposition. i would never leave my children. i will bring them if necessary.

however, it's easy for me to say because i have never been put in a position where my kids will be left with no food and other necessities if i don't take a job.

as i've said, it's my personal thing. i will only leave my kids if they are adults already

duchy

It's easy to say that if you've never been in that position.You can't have much faith in the father of your children though.

I'm not honestly sure if the position is any better on the mainland-I presume you're thinking of supply teaching if it's a month at a time ? Why not try it for a month as an experiment and see how it works out ?

Oldernotwiser

megtyler wrote: »

i'm a woman and this is just based on my personal disposition. i would never leave my children. i will bring them if necessary.

however, it's easy for me to say because i have never been put in a position where my kids will be left with no food and other necessities if i don't take a job.

as i've said, it's my personal thing. i will only leave my kids if they are adults already

Working away in the week is hardly "leaving your children", anymore for a woman than it is for a man!

leftieM

My children are 6 and 8 and my husband can work around childcare. We have some emergency support - his folks are close by for occasional help and my folks are 90 minutes away and available for the odd bail-out.
The job market in England has shrunk too but I don't know how hard it is to get work or what the competition is like. There are jobs advertised, which is more than can be said for this neck of the woods.
I am a Chemistry teacher with a degree and PhD in Chemistry and a PGCE. I'm eligible to teach in England and eligible to register with the GTC. I've completed induction. We have a different KS3 curriculum here but very similar KS4 and KS5 specifications (there is an NI board but many schools here use OCR, AQA and Edexcel. They are all very similar at KS5).
I'm trying to get classroom assistant posts and maybe science technician posts closer to home. I've just started applying for these so I don't know if I fit the bill. The money is much worse but anything that means we can pay the bills and save a bit for emergencies would be welcomed.
Hopefully it'll work out. I could only leave the children if I thought they would be okay emotionally. I thought about bringing them with me, and I may well if I have to cast the net further, but they are very settled in school and they have lovely friends, and I'd be loathe to take that from them, which is why I would leave them behind.
Times are hard!

jfh7gwa

Oldernotwiser wrote: »

Working away in the week is hardly "leaving your children", anymore for a woman than it is for a man!

Exactly!

OP, men have been doing this for years. Your husband will be able to cope if you decide that it's best for your family for you to work away for periods of time.

My dad did it when we were younger, it didn't make him less of a dad. Heck, it was considered normal. I'm not saying I'd like to do it myself, but needs must and all that. That applies whether you are a mother or a father, it is all the same.

So if you decide to go down this path, do it because you think that half of your household's earning power needs to do it, don't factor in whether you're the mum or the dad - trust your husband, he's their father, I'm sure he will cope fine. He'll parent differently, sure, but he'll be able to cope.

I say this as someone who has, through the years, had all manner of set ups with my own partner re: our children (him being a househusband when I eventually went back to work fulltime for a couple of years too, and we also had almost a year where we were both 3 or 4 days a week, which worked very well for us).

Oldernotwiser

leftieM wrote: »

My children are 6 and 8 and my husband can work around childcare. We have some emergency support - his folks are close by for occasional help and my folks are 90 minutes away and available for the odd bail-out.
The job market in England has shrunk too but I don't know how hard it is to get work or what the competition is like. There are jobs advertised, which is more than can be said for this neck of the woods.
I am a Chemistry teacher with a degree and PhD in Chemistry and a PGCE. I'm eligible to teach in England and eligible to register with the GTC. I've completed induction. We have a different KS3 curriculum here but very similar KS4 and KS5 specifications (there is an NI board but many schools here use OCR, AQA and Edexcel. They are all very similar at KS5).
I'm trying to get classroom assistant posts and maybe science technician posts closer to home. I've just started applying for these so I don't know if I fit the bill. The money is much worse but anything that means we can pay the bills and save a bit for emergencies would be welcomed.
Hopefully it'll work out. I could only leave the children if I thought they would be okay emotionally. I thought about bringing them with me, and I may well if I have to cast the net further, but they are very settled in school and they have lovely friends, and I'd be loathe to take that from them, which is why I would leave them behind.
Times are hard!

With your qualifications and teaching subject I would doubt that you'd have too much difficulty getting a job in England, even as a NQT. I think that it would be a terrible waste for you to become a TA or technician, both for you and for the education system which is crying out for well qualified science teachers.

Good luck.

Hezzawithkids

I am in a similar situation. Unemployed for 18 months then got a fantastic opportunity to work for a major company but it means living away from home Monday to Friday for a couple of months. OH & I discussed it & decided it was too good to miss and did it. My kids are sightly older than yours but I speak to them on the phone every day plus there's always Skype.

Treat it as an adventure, yes it takes some organisation and getting used to but you all soon find your groove, you'll feel much more fulfilled as a result and who knows what doors it will open for you in the future.

faerie~spangles

Personally I think it would be crying shame if you did not at least give it a try.

As has been mentioned there's Skype, so you can 'see' your children every day.

People have to be prepared to go where the work is.