HELP 2 babies in 14 mnths now cant return to work what can i claim ?

[Deleted User]

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USM

I'm going to distance myself dramatically from the abortion comments of the other post above, I don't believe that's somewhere we should go.

However, I do find it mildly amusing but frustrating that I'm automatically a troll because I offer a view which is controversial. It's a serious issue, and a contributor to the dire financial situation our country is in that families don't consider the viability of having children and the impact on their financial situation because we have a very generous welfare system.

fannyanna

USM wrote: »

I'm going to distance myself dramatically from the abortion comments of the other post above, I don't believe that's somewhere we should go.

However, I do find it mildly amusing but frustrating that I'm automatically a troll because I offer a view which is controversial. It's a serious issue, and a contributor to the dire financial situation our country is in that families don't consider the viability of having children and the impact on their financial situation because we have a very generous welfare system.

I agree with your point however I think that whilst such a benefits system is in place it will be used. OP is not abusing the system, simply proposing to use it.

But whilst I agree with you it's also my opinion that OP is clearly upset and worried as it is. I didn't think that my opinions on the grand scheme of what's right and wrong would be helpful or appropriate.

fawd1

have you thought about going back earlier, say after the easter break, admmittedly losing out on wages at that stage by having to pay childcare, but then you'd be off for the holidays again in july and can start a new lot of mat leave in september?

Caroline_a

Without getting into the whole 'is she right or is she wrong' debate, the OP should look towards maybe trying to work for longer hours in order to pay childminding fees when she's had baby No 2 - she may find that during the next year or so the rules for benefits change again, possibly more drastically, so by planning now she will avoid falling into the poverty trap.

Possibly OP you might be able to do some extra hours, say, in a bar or office cleaning when your OH is home from work? I know neither of them are the greatest jobs, but I'm sure you'll get more satisfaction from knowing that you've earned money to keep your children, rather than taking handouts.

flutterby_lil

fawd1 wrote: »

have you thought about going back earlier, say after the easter break, admmittedly losing out on wages at that stage by having to pay childcare, but then you'd be off for the holidays again in july and can start a new lot of mat leave in september?

Congrats OP - good age gap.

Good suggestion, i have to agree and second this.

dizziblonde

I do actually partially agree with what's being said, although the tone is a bit meh... we've sat down and planned when this one comes we won't do anything to prevent a second, bargaining in that the fact we've gone through hell to concieve and keep one makes a second unlikely - but we've only taken that decision based on the fact that the numbers actually add up for me NOT to work during the daytimes (I have an evening source of income I can maintain, and economically the childcare Vs money I can make equation working during the day doesn't balance out in any way, shape or form).

I've always personally thought that it's incredibly unfair on employers to pull the returning from maternity leave pregnant routine though - it can absolutely destroy a small business. I'll continue to think such a thing and the rights rights rights crew will be along shortly in moral indignation that anyone's dared to question things.

I don't for a second think the OP wants constructive suggestions on ways to work and balance having children though.... the wording of it says it all really...

LilacPixie

dizziblonde wrote: »

I do actually partially agree with what's being said, although the tone is a bit meh... we've sat down and planned when this one comes we won't do anything to prevent a second, bargaining in that the fact we've gone through hell to concieve and keep one makes a second unlikely - but we've only taken that decision based on the fact that the numbers actually add up for me NOT to work during the daytimes (I have an evening source of income I can maintain, and economically the childcare Vs money I can make equation working during the day doesn't balance out in any way, shape or form).

I've always personally thought that it's incredibly unfair on employers to pull the returning from maternity leave pregnant routine though - it can absolutely destroy a small business. I'll continue to think such a thing and the rights rights rights crew will be along shortly in moral indignation that anyone's dared to question things.

I don't for a second think the OP wants constructive suggestions on ways to work and balance having children though.... the wording of it says it all really...

Fate works weirdly. We had hell for DD1, and i then returned to contraception to regulate cycle due to my issues. we then decided number 2 was wanted and based our planing on falling immediately we could manage but ideally 18-24 months before we did. 1st month I was pregnant. No more kids for us, family complete etc. I get long term contraception and after 9 months fnd out i'm 9 weeks gone :rotfl:boy was that a shock and a challenge.

OP don't rule out returning to work. I have had 3 kids in 4 years and returned to work in November after 9 months off. Its a bit like ships that pass in the night, we only see each other late evening and weekends but it will get easier as the kids get older. I work days and he works back shift. Oldest is in school, Middle gets 15 hours funded nursery in a LA nursery in afternoons and the little one goes to my mum or DH'd mum depending on the day.

You only found out today, just take a few deep breaths and don't rush decisions

janninew

Condoms would have been a very good choice, very effective with no long lasting effects on fertility!! But never mind, what's done is done. Can you not get in touch with the HR department at school and see what your options are?
Congrats on the new baby though, things do have a habit of working out.
Good luck.

moneysavingfamilycomp

thanks for all your replys. in response to certain posters i completely agree about people abusing the system but we dont both i and OH have always worked for the last 20 yrs so i feel we have contributed enough to not feel ashamed of taking a little back. and as i stated im 37 so waiting til dd is at school when im 42 to start trying for another is laughable. before i had dd i saved up the equivalent of over 6 mnths worth of my wage to cover the time i would be on maternity without pay. and the only thing we will need to buy is a second cot and car seat and a double buggy. i dont feel we have been stupid just a little nieve i was hoping to get preg by the end of this year so baby would be due around dd 2nd birthday that would of been quick compared with how long it took us to have dd. we own our house so im not trying to claim housing benefit etc and OH works full time only on a low wage he is looking for a better job but hasnt managed to find one yet. il look into returning early to work so i can leave again but im not sure thats fair as i dont think id be returning after my second lot of maternity so in a way it would feel like fiddling the system and the job i do is manual so i have to be put on light duties when preg which makes things tougher for the other staff. im not expecting to claim the equivalent of my wages which is less than £500 a month anyway (the childcare in our area for 2 babies for 5 days is more than that even with help from tax credits and we dont have family who can help as they all work) im just hoping the increase in tax credits will cover the bills. we are on the cheapest we can for gas elec etc. so i think i just need to sit down and do a budget. iv calmed down now lol children are a gift from god and this one has obviously been sent to us now for a reason. thanks again for all your advice.