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not having the best birthday :(

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Comments

  • princeofpounds
    princeofpounds Posts: 10,396 Forumite
    Part of the Furniture 10,000 Posts Name Dropper Combo Breaker
    From the bloke's point of view, if I had arranged something and this happened, I wouldn't expect you to have a fixed smile all night. Of course you are going to have it on your mind.

    Best strategy for the evening is to talk about things beforehand, get it off your chest. Then go out, but treat it as 'comforting' time together rather than a birthday celebration. If you feel like one course and then a bath in the hotel and watching some TV that's fine.

    Men typically like to feel useful and practically supportive, so I'd imagine he will be ok as long as he gets reassurance he is helping and isn't shut out.

    Sorry that seems a bit focused on his experience, all the other advice provided is great, I just figured it might help to have an idea how to communicate on it so it doesn't strain you as a couple as much as possible.
  • i know its a hard time for you but be thankful your mam is still here

    i spent my 30th without my mam because shes not here any more
  • 19lottie82
    19lottie82 Posts: 6,032 Forumite
    Part of the Furniture 1,000 Posts Combo Breaker
    Thanks for all the nice replies. Called up the hospital yesterday after she had been through her op and they assured me that it all went well, so although couldn't totally relax still managed to enjoy myself.

    Went to visit my mum today, and was panicking about seeing her in a really bad state, but I was pleasantly surprised as, even though she was obviously still in a lot of discomfort, she was actually up and about!

    There are still a lot of rocky roads ahead, but I am feeling a bit more positive, thanks again.
  • Desperado99
    Desperado99 Posts: 1,195 Forumite
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    That's good to hear. (both about enjoying yourself, and your mum's progress)

    Fingers crossed for the future xx
  • harrys_nan
    harrys_nan Posts: 1,777 Forumite
    Part of the Furniture 1,000 Posts Photogenic
    fingers crossed for your mum, hope things keep getting better. Glad you enjoyed your birthday x
    Treat other's how you like to be treated.

    Harry born 23/09/2008
    New baby grandson, Louie born 28/06/2012,
    Proud nanny to two beautiful boys :j
    And now I have the joy of having my foster granddaughter becoming my real granddaughter. Can't ask for anything better

    UPDATE,
    As of today 180919. my granddaughter is now my official granddaughter, adoption finally granted
  • Person_one
    Person_one Posts: 28,884 Forumite
    Tenth Anniversary 10,000 Posts Combo Breaker
    i know its a hard time for you but be thankful your mam is still here

    i spent my 30th without my mam because shes not here any more

    I'm very sorry you lost your mum, but that's not really a very helpful response, is it? The fact that worse things have happened to other people does not mean the OP isn't allowed to be upset and stressed about what is happening to her mum.
  • 19lottie82 wrote: »
    It's my 30th birthday today and my OH is taking me out for dinner and we're staying the night in a posh hotel.

    BUT the problem is my Mum was diagnosed with breast cancer and is having a masectomy (?) today.

    She is usually really strong and has been since the diagnosis, but when I dropped her off at the hospital she was crying and I was really upset. Alhough we keep in regular contact, we haven't always been that close but she split up with her partner last year I'm the only family she has.

    I thought I was doing OK until I dropped her off at the hospital yesterday, but it's hit me quite hard.

    I knwo my OH has gone to a lot of effort, and I don't want to sit there with a long face all night. Also, when I go and visit my mum tomorrow night, I don't knwo what to expect and I've got a feeling it's going to be quite upsetting (selfish I know).


    Happy birthday Girly.

    My daughter is 30 this year too and if I were your mum I'd want to know that your fellah had spoiled you rotten.

    So go and have a good time and tomorrow you can tell your mum all about it.

    She wouldn't want you to be sad and upset on your birthday.
    I'm not that way reclined

    Jewelry? Seriously? Sheldon you are the most shallow, self-centered person I have ever met. Do you really think that another transparently-manipu... OH, IT'S A TIARA! A tiara; I have a tiara! Put it on me! Put it on me! Put it on me! Put it on me! Put it on me! Put it on me! Put it on me!
  • Bangton
    Bangton Posts: 1,053 Forumite
    Tenth Anniversary 1,000 Posts Combo Breaker
    Lottie - I'm pleased to here your mum is up and about. Fingers crossed for her xx
  • gjs6385
    gjs6385 Posts: 297 Forumite
    Part of the Furniture 100 Posts Combo Breaker
    The thing is your mum will also be upset knowing that you will be worrying about her, so if you tell her what a nice time you had out with your OH it will cheer her up just knowing that and will ease her worries slightly, which can only be good all round :)
  • Big_Alf
    Big_Alf Posts: 91 Forumite
    We lost MIL after a long battle with cancer on christmas day so understand how hard these things are, keep your chin up and keep strong for your mum!
    Spring Fesitval Challenge: Save health & money! Day 1/7
    Weight [STRIKE]82.9kgs[/STRIKE] 82.7kgs
    Cigarettes: 10 :mad:
    Alcohol Units: 6.7 :mad:
    Weekly Food Shopping Budget Challenge $2.3/$10 :)
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