Dad living in my house - is he a tenant?

paddy's_mum

Whatever else you do, and however all the property side of matters eventually pans out, keep hold of the girlfriend. She's the one in a million that you so desperately need and to my mind, your mother's outrageous demands about her simply prove that she is a treasure!

I hope you tell her frequently that you realise that you're a lucky man. Good luck.

propertyman

After my early comments I read the thread and it exhibits all the hallmarks of the need when doing anything with family, even more so than in business, that things be done properly and formally.

That doesn't help you; what will is taking a few days sick and pulling together all the paperwork records and information and writing down your recollection of each relevant matter.

While the various links will inform you, you need professional advice on this, and they may suggest mediation to resolve much of it.

You don't need to man up, your posts indicate it is because of things you did for others and how they are returning the favour....

cuffey

I have the name of one of the other people involved in the purchase of the freehold of the building, and his email address. I am going to contact him and ask him who the solicitors were and that sort of thing, and whether he can send me copies of paperwork. That might give me a start - I have been naive and just signed whatever was put in front of me without taking much notice, so I realise I have the responsibility of sorting it out.

greenman2

propertyman wrote: »

After my early comments I read the thread and it exhibits all the hallmarks of the need when doing anything with family, even more so than in business, that things be done properly and formally.

That doesn't help you; what will is taking a few days sick and pulling together all the paperwork records and information and writing down your recollection of each relevant matter.

While the various links will inform you, you need professional advice on this, and they may suggest mediation to resolve much of it.

You don't need to man up, your posts indicate it is because of things you did for others and how they are returning the favour....

Well said propertyman, I couldn't agree more.

cuffey, I'm really sorry to hear what you're going through, but can so relate to it as it's similar in some ways to my current situation. All I would add is that your GF sounds a wonderful person and very supportive, but from experience would really think twice about involving her too much in your family dispute (emotionally and financially), as this could have a real detrimental effect on your relationship with her, however strong it is at the moment.

Good luck

princeofpounds

How is that going greenman? I remember your thread, would love to hear an update. Being nosey and all

sonastin

cuffey wrote: »

I think she will expect back a minimum of the original £75,000. I have every intention of being as fair as I can be. She is still my mother however horrible.

What is "fair", given that she gave away the property to claim benefits would probably be no more than £6,000 so that she remains entitled to the benefits. After all, you're only helping her carry on the lifestyle she has chosen

And of course, as the loving and dutiful child you are, you can continue to help her financially anytime she is short - she just has to ask. As long as the money remains in your account and in your name and under your control. And you remain strong enough to stand up to her being unreasonable


Sorry, I know that is being a bit glib. It is much easier to type it on a keyboard than to live it day-to-day. But if your parents have spent all this time manipulating you then it is time for them to reap what they have sowed. You must do what is right for you. If that happens to be right for them too, that is a happy coincidence but what is best for them is no longer your concern.

Beckyy

cuffey wrote: »

My mother has said she will disown me if we get married

It could work to your advantage!

cuffey

Greenman2 - I have read your thread. I hope the horrible situation for you and your mum resolves.

londonTiger

yeah you dropped yourself right in it. Why would you tell them your dad pays you £100 a month (I assume a month), when it's agianst your mortgage contract to do that. Next time think before you open blab away. The goods news is he is your family member, so you have leeway to move around it. he could be contributing towards your mortgage rather than having a formal client:tenant relationship.

cuffey

londonTiger wrote: »

yeah you dropped yourself right in it. Why would you tell them your dad pays you £100 a month (I assume a month), when it's agianst your mortgage contract to do that. Next time think before you open blab away. The goods news is he is your family member, so you have leeway to move around it. he could be contributing towards your mortgage rather than having a formal client:tenant relationship.

I'm not aware that I did tell them the amount.

What is the 'leeway to move around it 'you suggest for family members?

What do you mean by a client:tenant relationship?