Don't know what to do about my husband

fluffnutter

fannyanna wrote: »

I could laugh.

I've just spoken to him and he now seems fine. So he's literally just proven your post

If you don't feed your anxieties with negative thoughts, the symptoms pass on their own account. It usually takes about half an hour or so but it will pass on its own.

Still tell him to read up on panic. I don't mean to be pessimistic but it's likely he'll suffer another episode in the coming days/weeks.

fannyanna

lindens wrote: »

Primarily he needs to recognise the symptoms and come up with some coping mechanisms. My partner uses distraction techniques if he feels an attack coming on.

You've hit the nail on the head.

I think the reason it's getting worse is because he doesn't know how to deal with it and each time it chips and breaks him down a bit more.

That's why I was thinking that counselling might be a good idea as it might help him find some ways of dealing with the problem. I know that it would be a very long wait to get NHS counselling but we could afford for him to go private. I'm in private counselling at the moment so it would be really mean of me to say that he couldn't go if that's what he wanted to do.

fannyanna

Thanks fluffnutter. I've had a quick look at that link you provided and it looks really good. I'll get him to read it tonight. I don't want to upset him at work.

fluffnutter

fannyanna wrote: »

I'm not sure that's the case.

Sorry I should have explained better. It's clear that for the majority of the time it's not the dizziness that comes first. It's the thoughts.

The irrational thoughts have become more frequent. Sometimes he will get dizziness and sometimes he wont. I guess when it's stress or panic he'll get dizzy but sometimes he just gets depressed or emotional and doesn't experience dizziness on those occassions.

Irrational thoughts are the crux of most anxiety disorders. There are loads of really useful techniques around how to deal with negative thoughts but they all tend to revolve around the same idea - just let them come. Everyone has negative thoughts, the thing with someone who's suffering from anxiety is that a) they have more but more importantly b) they zoom in on these thoughts which just magnifies them.

These thoughts will just dissipate themselves if he doesn't latch on to them. He needs to see them as a symptom of his anxiety, they don't actually mean anything, he doesn't need to fight them, nor does he need to make sense of them. They don't mean anything. Just let them come. And then go.

fluffnutter

I don't mean to pre-empt your doctor, or offer medical advice, but I think your husband should talk to his GP about anti-depressants. They're the drug of choice for anxiety (anxiety and depression are just two sides of the same coin, and it's thought that the neurological processes are the same). Anti-depressants tend to have a better success rate than beta-blockers, which can only ever help with physical symptoms e.g. sweating, palpitations etc. They won't help with negative thoughts.

fluffnutter

fannyanna wrote: »

Thanks fluffnutter. I've had a quick look at that link you provided and it looks really good. I'll get him to read it tonight. I don't want to upset him at work.

There's a bit of advice for loved ones at the end too. You've got to look after yourself as well x.

Darlyd

I can highly recommend CBT for dummies from amazon.

I would also find a therapist who teaches CBT as this is the best type of therapy.

It is horrible condition to experience.

But like another poster mentioned, the panic he feels will pass, it won't last for ever. It's all about changing his thoughts, and that is where CBT (cognitive behavioural therapy) comes into practise.

WestonDave

To some extent (i.e. not as bad as getting dizzy) I've had this, and what is being said is right - the spells do pass, and it is possible to rationalise your way out of it because the crux of it is irrational fears building a "fight or flight" type response from the physical parts of your body - so your breathing ramps up ready to run, your digestion slows down because you want instant energy from stored sources not slow energy from food, and to some extent your body prepares to dump excess weight (can have laxative type effects).

The key is for him to recognise that it passes, to recognise each episode as it builds as being a repeat of what has happened before, and to "self talk" to himself that it will pass, he knows what is likely to happen and that once its over he will feel fine. As he does that over time (and it won't be days I'm afraid) the alert response should decline.

NB I'm no medic and this isn't medical advice - just passing on personal experience and stuff I've picked up on my way through life! He needs to keep in with the GP and make sure there aren't underlying medical reasons that make this worse - e.g. blood sugar issues, and not ignore professional advice.

fluffnutter

darlyd wrote: »

I can highly recommend CBT for dummies from amazon.

I would also find a therapist who teaches CBT as this is the best type of therapy.

It is horrible condition to experience.

But like another poster mentioned, the panic he feels will pass, it won't last for ever. It's all about changing his thoughts, and that is where CBT (cognitive behavioural therapy) comes into practise.

Definitely. I had CBT about 13 years ago and it's enabled me to live drug-free ever since. I'll never not be an anxious person, but just six hour long sessions taught me all the techniques I'll need to control my anxiety. It's literally life-transforming.

lindens

I echo the poster above about not fighting them. So what if he is feeling these thoughts - he must just go with the flow. Fighting it can make it worse and wastes energy.
My partner finds his ipod very helpful , he puts his headphones in which block out loud noises which dont help, and make him focus on listening to music/whatever. His iphone is also a very useful distraction tool. He will play a game or there are even anxiety apps on there! The nurse was laughing at him last month when he went in for a blood test, this was making him anxious so throughout the whole appointment he was on his iphone playing a game. To some that would look odd but for him it was a distraction technique. You can also download anxiety "itunes" of different variations such as someone talking or just fuzzy noises that are meant to calm you down.
He has to find something that works for him.