Don't know what to do about my husband

fannyanna

I posted last week basically saying that my husband is suffering from anxiety. He'd been getting dizzy, was initially diagnosed with vertigo and then diagnosed with anxiety.

Since then he's got worse and I feel as though I need to do something to prevent it from getting even worse but I don't know what.

He has an appointment to see his doctor again next week (Tuesday) as a follow up from his appointment last week. I don't know whether it's worth trying to get him to see the doctor sooner but knowing our surgery there probably wont be any appointments available before next week.

I've thought about maybe arranging for him to see a counsellor (at our expense).

I just don't know what to do.

fluffnutter

What happened when he saw the doctor the first time? Was he prescribed anything?

The thing with anxiety is that there are things to do in the short-term (coping with panic attacks, physical feelings like dizziness etc.) and things to do in the long-term. Counselling is a fantastic idea and will help him develop the tools and techniques to cope with his anxiety but it won't help right now.

If he's struggling with panic attacks and overwhelming physical symptoms, an emergency doctor's appt might be more appropriate. Alternatively, or as well, it's a good idea to read up on the web what exactly is happening when your body panics as it's comforting and reassuring to realise it's all totally normal and you won't die! Check out http://www.nomorepanic.co.uk/articles/panicattack/ or give it a google yourself.

Remember as well, sometimes things get worse before they get better. Your husband's doing all the right things and this will pass, I promise.

pixelation

Hi FannyAnna,
Did not want to read and run. Does your hubby have good medication and is he taking it regularly? If he is still feeling unwell after a week then the anxiety meds may not be right for him.
Anti-depressants can take two weeks to work but anxiety meds are usually faster. (I am not a doctor).
I'd get him back to the docs as an emergency to be on the safe side.

fannyanna

Thanks both.

It's not quite been a week as it was last Thursday that he saw the doctor. He was prescribed beta blockers to help with the anxiety and has a review appointment for Tuesday next week in which the doctor said they'd review how he is and if necessary look at more long term solutions.

The thing is since seeing the doctor last week he's gone downhill. He's been feeling very low which is understandable (I think this has all been one huge shock for him as he's normally so level headed and laid back) but the anxiety has got worse. He's generally fine at work but he's saying that he wants to go home because he's been feeling dizzy for the past 30 minutes.

He missed another college class on Monday (he went to college but despite trying 3 times couldn't actually walk into the class room) and I expect the same thing to happen tonight. Now I know that by him not going he's making things worse for himself as he's making the problem bigger but I also appreciate that he's not in the right frame of mind to appreciate that or do something about it.

He even got anxious getting a train by himself at the weekend to go meet his friends to watch football with them. He ended up in a state for a few hours and nearly came home despite the day being something he had been looking forward to.

I'm just worried that his anxiety is nwo becoming more common and as a result of more and more irrational things. Hi anxieties were understandable before but now they're not. Although I completely appreciate that it's not him just being stupid it's a result of his illness.

I don't know I guess I was just hoping that as quickly as it came on it would just as quickly resolve itself. But it's getting worse. I'm worried that in a few days he's not even going to be able to go to work.

fluffnutter

This is all totally typical, fannyanna. I know it's seems frightening and overwhelming but you're not saying anything that I (and thousands of others) haven't experienced before. It will pass. It might feel like he's going to reach crisis point, but he will always come out of a panic attack the other side. Get him to start reading up on panic symptoms on the web. Now!

Seanymph

Absolutely!

His fear is contributing - if he arms himself with information he can rationalise more, and the fear disappears even if the symptoms continue.

The beta blockers should help no end after he has taken them for a while, but I can assure you that in his shoes the fear of what is happening is more debilitating than anything else, and information is the cure for that. So read all around the web on it, pass along the information to him, and tell him that it will pass. This time will pass.

He doesn't know where this will stop currently, or that he will come out of the other side. That will be what is causing it to get worse - it's self fulfilling - the fear makes you more fearful.

I was better with non demanding company. I needed 'permission' to take it slower, 'permission' not to do things. So, tell him it's ok, that he can take his time, find his path, and get better.

Until he stablises he won't want to look at why and modify his life - he won't be able to - but he can stablise just be sitting, and knowing it will be ok. Those are the two things you can give to him.

fannyanna

fluffnutter wrote: »

This is all totally typical, fannyanna. I know it's seems frightening and overwhelming but you're not saying anything that I (and thousands of others) haven't experienced before. It will pass. It might feel like he's going to reach crisis point, but he will always come out of a panic attack the other side. Get him to start reading up on panic symptoms on the web. Now!

I could laugh.

I've just spoken to him and he now seems fine. So he's literally just proven your post

fannyanna

He keeps talking about giving up on his studies (which his work are sponsoring).

I think it would maybe be a good idea to postpone one of his classes until September rather than just give them both up or try to self study both of them.

But at the moment he can't even attend his classes. I think we'll see what happens tonight with his college class. I'm really, really hoping that he can manage to attend it.

Thank you so much for the advice. I will start collating information for both of us to sit and review.

Xaniwoop

I just wanted to add that dizziness was a side effect I experienced while taking Beta Blockers. I wonder if the dizziness is a physical reaction to the drugs which is in turn bringing on panic as he doesn't know what is happening to him. It might explain why it seems to be happening more often since taking the medication. Does this sound likely?

lindens

My partner suffers and there is no rhyme nor reason as to where and when they can occurr. He will even get one at his parents home (ie. childhood home 5 miles from our house) and we just have to go home. He definately needs to do some reading up and counselling may help although there maybe a waiting list for this. Primarily he needs to recognise the symptoms and come up with some coping mechanisms. My partner uses distraction techniques if he feels an attack coming on.

fannyanna

Xaniwoop wrote: »

I just wanted to add that dizziness was a side effect I experienced while taking Beta Blockers. I wonder if the dizziness is a physical reaction to the drugs which is in turn bringing on panic as he doesn't know what is happening to him. It might explain why it seems to be happening more often since taking the medication. Does this sound likely?

I'm not sure that's the case.

Sorry I should have explained better. It's clear that for the majority of the time it's not the dizziness that comes first. It's the thoughts.

The irrational thoughts have become more frequent. Sometimes he will get dizziness and sometimes he wont. I guess when it's stress or panic he'll get dizzy but sometimes he just gets depressed or emotional and doesn't experience dizziness on those occassions.