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losingpatience

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sassyblue

OP, (((HUGS))) you've clearly been through the mill. I know l experienced a downer after l got married, all the exhaustion of the planning and you also lost your honeymoon so no wonder you're feeling so down.

Firstly, overall it does sound like you're depressed, lack of sleep, constantly exhausted and inability to concentrate are red flags for me. Is it possible you could make another appointment at the doctors to discuss this thoroughly with him and see what he thinks?

I'm so angry with your doctor for not thinking about freezing sperm! Do the drugs affect the sperm itself? You said it affects the feotus but you're not the person taking the drugs? How long does the drug stay in the system, is there a possiblity of DH coming off the drugs for a month and getting some sperm frozen then?

The honeymoon, let's get this into perspective - it's postponed not cancelled you still do have it to look forward to when things settle down.

The w*tch at work... what she's got a beef about isn't your problem 'per se'. She made a complaint about you and she was told by your boss it was neglible so if she wants to sulk about it let her. Believe me your workmates will know the score if she is badmouthing you, so hold your head up high and interract with your colleagues. It sounds like you are superior to her so she'll have to get over it or find another job but don't let the troublemaker get *you* down.

Sorry about your grandad, if things are bad there will be options available, and until those results are in worrying excessively isn't going to help (((HUGS))).

The time off work is something you may need to get your strength up again, l know it's easy to say but forget about the sick pay - you have the honeymoon money?? It's not ideal but if you have some savings in place that's good to see you through.

I know you said your friends wouldn't understand but isn't there one person who could speak to? You CAN cope honey because you will! You will get through all this bad luck, take time out for yourself everyday and do something that makes you happy xxx

shays_mum

Ah mate didn't want to run & read hun, it seems YOU have alot on your plate as well. You do need to talk to someone, be that in the form of your gp and some maybe antidepressants or some form of counselling as to how to go forward. I know i may not have been much help, but am sending you some ((((hugs)))). Hang in there xx

Desperado99

That's a lot a stuff going on , I would say that your top priority should be going back to the docs as your meds don't seem to be working for you. Has the GP offered counselling at all? I know waiting lists for it on the NHS can be quite long but it depends on the area.

The witch at work obviously wants a good punch in the chops (but I wouldn't recommend that ) don't let a bad person get you down, you are obviously highly thought of at work seeing as they don't seem to be able to cope without you (although, I do think they should stop calling).

http://www.familyhealthguide.co.uk/depressive-illness-the-curse-of-the-strong.html

This link may help you, I can relate to it totally. You are a strong person, carrying lots of burdens...... but just remember, you've overcome depression before, so you can do it again.

Scrapaholic

Feeling for you both + your situation . In life not everyone likes everyone , so difficult when you have to work with people who are treating you like this . Is there a human resource person at work + is it possible for you to talk about the work situation ? All best wishes to you both .

podperson

Aww, hun, I think anyone would be struggling with all that to cope with! It sounds like the not sleeping really isn't helping either so could you go back to the doctor and see if they could try you on something else? Also could be worth looking at some relaxation/mediation techniques that you could try before bed to try and help you 'switch off' a bit and be able to get some sleep. Try not to worry about work, don't let them pressure you into going back before you feel capable of doing - and definately don't worry about some silly mare who obviously has a chip on her shoulder and way too much time on her hands!

daska

That's a thoroughly rotten list of things to have to cope with! ((((HUGS)))) And it's magnified by the fact that there's not an area of your life you can escape to where there isn't a problem. But the not sleeping will be making everything far worse than it has to be and it's possibly the easiest thing on the list to address. Have you thought about asking the pharmacist about over the counter remedies or would you be prepared to ask the doctor for a prescription just to get the sleep under control for a few nights. It won't magically make everything better but it will give you a few more resources to cope with it all.

flutterby_lil

Huge hugs to you hon.

Maybe getting back into thr running will help you feel a bit better and take your mind off things. Try starting off small, possibly walking for half an hour in a morning to clear your head a little bit and get out of the four walls you look at every day.

I know when I was off work with reactive depression I didn't want to get up, didn't want to do anything, just wanted to lie on the sofa with tv on or surf the net. Even now on my days off that is all I can be bothered to do.

How about doing something for yourself, a massage, a swim, a brew with a close friend or family. It is understandable that you feel down and fed up you have so so much going on. Hope you are able to take som eof the advice you have been given and manage to force a smile for today.

Rahven

*hugs* really feel for you and sorry you're having such a horrible time of it.
Some good info on helping you to sleep at http://www.rcpsych.ac.uk/mentalhealthinfoforall/problems/sleepproblems/sleepingwell.aspx
Echo what others have said - would be a good idea to talk to the GP about as much of this as possible and please don't let this bully sap your confidence (I know that's much much easier said than done). As has been said already it'd be worth talking to your manager about it as it's clearly part of the reason you are off work. If they are aware it gives them a chance to sort it out and make your return to work that much easier.
Try to get a little bit of exercise if you can. I know it's hard but even 5 minutes here and there will help to start making you feel a little bit better You can get through this *hug*

Blue_Elephant

Didn't want to read and run. *HUGS*

Just a few things I wondered about. You say your doctors have signed you off sick for 4 weeks, and you only get 4 weeks of sick pay. You should point out to your company that your time should only start at the point they are able to not be ringing you. Your company has a duty of care towards you, and if they mithering you while you're off sick with stress, that isn't going to help get you better = not good for you, not good for them. Are you a member of an union? They may be able to help with this and the bullying. If you're not, take a look at ACAS, they may be able to help. In the meantime turn the phone off. If it's a work phone, you shouldn't be using it when you're not there, if it's not, they shouldn't be ringing you on it.

You should be able to access some form of help for families of those with longstanding medical conditions, whether it's someone to talk to or even respite care. Does your husband need you to care for him? If so make sure you're getting any benefits you're entitled to, for example Carers' allowance. The staff treating your husband may be able to give you more information on both of these things.

You know, there's no harm in saying to a friend that you're struggling, and as for being ashamed, well put it this way, I'm not at work today because I have a severe case of Man-flu. I wouldn't normally take the day off, but I was falling asleep at my desk yesterday. THAT is shameful. What you're doing? Well, I'm going to find a hat and put it on, just so I can take it off to you.

Oh and with anti depressants, don't give up on them, different people respond differently to different combinations. keep trying until you get the one right for you.

*have some more hugs*

Remember, if things get tough, theres always the samaritans, try calling Macmillan, and if all else fails there are always friendly ears (eyes?) on here.

daska

Blue Elephant has a very valid point, you shouldn't be working, and if your boss is running into problems because hasn't listened to you then that is HIS fault and HIS problem. With any luck he'll realise he's been a fool and make sure someone else is sharing the load so he doesn't run the risk of this happening in the future. I would strongly suggest that you go back to your GP and tell them that the medication is making you dizzy, there are usually alternatives and if your GP has already prescribed something to help you sleep then that's probably what you need, you don't have to wait a month to do this. Also tell your GP that you haven't been allowed to take sick leave because work keep bothering you, s/he may be prepared to write to tell them that you are not able to deal with this.