No T Words mentioned at all - a fresh start

[Deleted User]

FUDS well done! If you want an 'in' with the receptionist who DID listen and got the GP involved when you next go in take her a box of chocs/bikkits and thank her personally for helping you to get things rolling, it will create goodwill and she will remember you and be more inclined to be helpful in the future. I know this is most likely the LAST thing you want to do but the cynic in me says so few folks ever do say thank you that you'll go down as 'one of the good guys' and all the reception staff will feel benign towards you. I know this works!!!

candlelight_2013

Fuddle I am so pleased it is sorted at long last, and Lyn is right, a little thank you is always appreciated, and you will be remembered for the right reasons!!

Candlelighx

fuddle

I know her name so I could do it. I know she was bending the rules but she saw the upset. Normally they ask what you would like to talk about so the GP has some background but she didn't. I think it's a lovely idea.:)

LaineyT

So pleased to read that at last you have managed to find someone with a bit of humanity Fuds and who recognised that you needed help, lovely idea of Lyn's to buy her a little treat.

Thank you Candlelight and Polly who also suggested that counselling may be a good idea for us, funnily enough yesterday I received a letter from the hospice asking if I would like to talk to someone about everything that happened, it's part of their aftercare package apparently. I have put my name down and hopefully that will spur my beloved on to do the same. We have become very insular over the last few weeks and it takes a lot to get us out socialising with friends etc, short term I don't see that being too much of a problem as think to a certain extent we just need to lick our wounds. But if it goes on much longer think it will need to be addressed and efforts made, its tough as the whole world seems out of kilter at the moment and simple things such as the Mothers Day adverts on the tv can have me in tears, guess it's only natural and part of the process.
Sorry for waffling on, hope everyone is ok and are managing to avoid the worst of the weather.
Love to all x

candlelight_2013

Lainey I think it is the most natural thing in the world. I receive emails from companies wanting me to send flowers to my mother, and I want to reply"not all of us have a Mum any more."

Today is the anniversary of my Mum's death and is also my DGD1s 24th birthday, she died on DGD1s 13th birthday, so we went to the Crem on Sunday and put some lovely tulips and daffs on the rose bed where she and Dad were scattered. I know they won't last long but it is just something we need to do.

I think talking to someone not emotionally involved helps, and you may be able to say things to them which you wouldn't say to family members for fear of upsetting them. I would certainly give it some thought, Capt S too, although I know men are more reluctant to talk.

Much love

Candlelightx

[Deleted User]

Oh my lovely friends I feel for you, Mothering Sunday is so difficult with the ads and the hype and the hole in your lives must be bigger in the run up and on the day than it is through the rest of the year. You do still have mums, they may not be physically present but you are literally part of them, they grew you, and hatched you so when you look at your own hand writing on the keyboard Mums are there too inside you and outside you too, and still loving you and sharing your lives, you'll never be without them! xxx.

candlelight_2013

Lyn you always say the right things.

Yes they are still with us, and actually when I look at my hands I see my Mum, I have hands just like hers.

Thank you my dearest friend

Candlelightx

[Deleted User]

Bless you, I like you all to feel Ok and part of that is sometimes thinking what will comfort most when it's needed. Human hearts need a cuddle sometimes don't they? consider yourselves cuddled!!! xxx.

Floss

Lainey in the past I have found having someone impartial and not part of our family & friends to be invaluable as a sounding post. One of my brothers and my two sons all had some counselling from the hospice that helped our mum.

monnagran

Lainey, we are going through much the same thing here. DIL is being very brave having lost her mum just 4 weeks ago. DS2 and I have agreed that all we can do is to spoil HER for the mother that SHE is.
It is a shame that the real meaning of Mothering Sunday has been lost in the commercial bonanza that it has given rise to.
I feel very much for those women who would have loved to be mothers but it just didn't happen for them. I could so easily have become one of that sad group.

I took a service once on Mothering Sunday and tried to emphasise that being a mother didn't necessarily involve giving birth. Plenty of women - and men, for that matter - have mothered someone in their lives at some time. Most of us have had the experience of BEING mothered by someone other than our female progenitor. You only have to read the "this thread opened my eyes" on this forum to realise that giving birth does not a mother make!

My own children are adopted, as most of you know, and I have left them both a letter in my Will thanking them for the wonderful miracle of adopting them made to my life.
I have included this little verse......

Not flesh of my flesh,
Or bone of my bone,
But still miraculously my own.
Never forget for a single minute,
You didn't grow under my heart
But in it.

I think that is Mothering Sunday done and dusted.

Fuddle. All power to your elbow my girl! Lyns suggestion of a small thank-you gift to the helpful receptionist, or even a tiny bunch of flowers for their office will make you their favourite patient.

It's been absolutely beautiful here today, cold but clear and sunny. However, the clouds are gathering so tomorrow's forecast looks to be bang on target.

x