MONEY MORAL DILEMMA: Should Elizabeth tell Charles he can't go on the trip?

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  • dejongj
    dejongj Posts: 141 Forumite
    hmmm, the rules stipulate that she is entitled to it...As such I would say she should chill out and no worry about it....Don't even think a lecture is required to explain it...Although, and that if for any child or adult, it is good to have a chat about the learning possibilities....But just enjoy it and have fun...

    But...if the rule wasn't there and/or wasn't that obvious I would feel very different about it. Cause just because I can pay it, that doesn't mean I want to pay more to sponsor others....

    And yes I fall in the category that I wouldn't pay for voluntary contributions to trips....I think that is such a half-way-house of doing things...Either make people pay for it or don't....There seem to be some prejudice towards "fur coats and flashy cars" but since I guess I fall in that category, I also feel that my monthly contribution in taxes is the size of some peoples anual income, so why pay again. Hence no private education of health service for me...It is all about perspective.....
  • There are other alternatives.

    If I were in that position, I would want my child to go on the trip. If I couldn't afford it, why not ask to pay in instalments over a period of time, as Ilona's mom did? The Youth Club will have some form of budget that may well allow this. Or offer my services (and perhaps Charlie's too!) to the youth club, to 'repay' the debt. Providing catering for an event at the club, doing some cleaning, or organising a car boot to raise funds: all of these would allow both mother and child to feel that they have paid their way.
  • I think Charles should definitely go and I think the scheme is a brilliant one.

    If I were one of the other parents I wouldn't mind in the slightest coughing up a little extra knowing a) the same option would be open to me if I needed it and b) Charles, (as would my child), would get the benefit of the experience

    It's the same basis upon which I reconcile myself to increasing tax and NI bills and go mad when I hear of someone cheating the system, i.e. I'm fortunate enough at the moment to be in a position where I don't need to claim benefits but I accept I have to contribute towards them when I can and hope and trust they'll be available to me should I need them.
  • Agree with what's been said - talk about it, explore ways of raising the money together etc etc.

    Just wanted to suggest that in cases of hardship you can sometimes get help from the family welfare association.

    http://www.fwa.org.uk/grant_app_backlog.html

    Haven't used it myself (not that I'm particularly well off, but have managed) but have heard of people who have - can really help when things are tight. I believe the Citizen's Advice Bureau will help in completing and submitting the forms.
  • Agree with what seems to be the general opinion. Yes, I think Elizabeth should bite her lip and Charles should definately be allowed to go. I'm sure most people would not begrudge a little more to enable all the children to benefit from the trip. In the "real world", most people would probably want to make some contribution - however small and I think we must assume that Elizabeth (obviously being a moral person) would be no exception. Also think it a great idea for her to offer to help in other ways, if she feels the need to express her gratitude. As has been touched upon - there may be a time in the future when Elizabeth and/or Charles will be able to be on the providing end of a helping hand. What goes around, comes around.
  • falc_2
    falc_2 Posts: 77 Forumite
    I think the fact that anyone even thinks this is a moral dilemma shows how confused we are about giving. We live in a very selfish society, and yet when anyone gives us anything we feel guilty about accepting it. Of course Elizabeth should let Charles go. He wants to go, she can't afford to pay, the other parents can, they all joined knowing that that was the policy and agreeing to it. Probably the other parents won't mind at all, even if they did know, and probably some of them will be all too pleased that Charles is going on the trip.
    --

    the best things in life are usually free.
  • She should let him go and she should definately not tell him anything about the costs. As he is only 13 he should be enjoying his childhood, he will be grown up soon enough and will have many years to worry about money.I would gladly pay a bit extra so that no child gets left out, which would make him feel different.
  • goliver wrote:
    She should let him go and she should definately not tell him anything about the costs. As he is only 13 he should be enjoying his childhood, he will be grown up soon enough and will have many years to worry about money.I would gladly pay a bit extra so that no child gets left out, which would make him feel different.

    Totally agree! :T :T

    By being proud, Elizabeth is putting a lot of pressure on herself and Charles.....she should accept the offer of help from the club, be grateful for it, and do the same thing when she's in a better financial position!

    IW x
    Official DFW Nerd Club - Member no. 222 :beer:
    :T Debt free wannabe - Proud to be dealing with my debts! :T

    Remember the MoneySaving mantras!

    IF YOU'RE SKINT......
    Do I need it? Can I afford it? Can I find it cheaper anywhere else?

    IF YOU'RE NOT SKINT......
    Will I use it? Is it worth it? Can I find it cheaper anywhere else?
  • Justamum
    Justamum Posts: 4,727 Forumite
    First Post First Anniversary Combo Breaker
    Why is it so hard for her to explain to her son that she just can't afford to pay for it? My own children understand that there are many things they just can't have because we can't afford them, and I've always been up-front about explaining this to them from a very early age.
  • I agree with jw007. Why should a child be made to feel different just because his family is not as fortunate as others? If he was made to stay at home, DESPITE the club's policy of funding those who cannot afford it, he would be missing out on valuable life experience, which is far more important than money.
    [STRIKE][/STRIKE]£2.00 Coin Savers Club...joined 20.08.08..starting with zero....£22 in ten days, for me thats a real achievment lol!! :j[STRIKE][/STRIKE]Now £58 in three weeks....unprecidented saving yipeeee! :j
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