Worried about person who drink drove

Sambucus_Nigra

Please don't rekindle this friendship. People are usually exes for a jolly good reason.

Hanging_by_a_thread

llh189 wrote: »

he is not the person I knew, he was also fairly manic last night, chain smoking, so was in and out from the garden, couldn't seem to concentrate on the TV, kept repeating himself.

Has he ever taken drugs? I have an uneasy feeling he may not just have been under the influence of drink. He had little to no sense of reasoning when you were trying to help him this morning. Drugs greatly impair a persons ability to think straight and distorts their views.

VfM4meplse

I'm sure the Law Society would take a dim view of the behaviour and just deserts would be served. I know this isn't your aim, I just happen to think this man is bad news - remember that he's a nasty piece of work in the first place, the alcohol just brings out the tendency.

whitewing

Ringing the police was the right thing to do.

Sounds like he is on a downward spiral. I guess something will happen at some point that will show him that he needs further support. It is not your problem, so don't feel bad. He probably did misinterpret the situation.

Cherry_Bomb

llh189 wrote: »

I still after all of this still feel sorry for him, he is simply not the person that I once loved and whilst some of it is his making I do feel he has been dealt an unkind hand in life. Today is obviously totally his fault and any outcome is also his fault, I have to stay the both Beds and Herts Police were really good when I phoned them.

And this is exactly what you need to get into your head. He is NOT the person you knew all those years ago.

I don't know if you feel like you owe him something or you're trying to 'save' him but you have to walk away. Do not contact him and if he does happen to contact you ignore it. Delete his number.

llh189

Meritaten - thanks for your reply! We were both clear about us not getting back together, it was never ever on the cards. Up until now I was always one of those people who believe that you can be friends with an ex. I am friendly with other people I have dated. He was not upset about my rejection, as they was not any rejection. We have both changed a lot over the last 10 years and I very much doubt I am his type now anyway.

You are right that I do feel somewhat naive, but people with mental health issues can and do get better, and some of his troubles were not his fault and sometimes in life you don't know someone is an alcoholic until they prove they are, a wife beater until they hit you, a thief until the police knock at your door, a drink driver until they get in their car, I could go on but I guess I have made my point, if he had displayed any of lasts night behaviour I would not of extended him the offer of a change of scene, and the use of my spare room. I guess though if I didn't change my number, do things with in my power to stop him harassing me and invited to my house ever again then I would truly be naive!

Hanging_by_a_thread

Did he seriously drive from Beds to Bromley in that state? Good god so he could have been on the M25 at some point. I was on there today. That motorway has enough carnage on it caused by sober drivers. Stop worrying about him and hope that he got home without killing any innocents.

DVardysShadow

llh, just keep out of it. There is nowt you can do to help him. All you can do by further involvement is exactly what you have seen already. And that is, through no fault of your own, to further mess with his head, add complications to his life and make his situation far worse. Also, you will put yourself at risk of having your head messed with at the very least. He is far better off without you. And as the sober person, you are the one who has to recognise it. Again, your only fault was to get involved through good motives.

merlin68

To me you had lucky escape. His been sectioned, to be sectioned you have to be a harm to yourself or others. He sounds very much like his got bi polar.

CRANKY40

He would not be answering his phone as due to having consumed enough alcohol to knock out an elephant he will now be sleeping it off. The mind of a habitual drunkard is a strange and complex thing, but one thing is for sure, after drinking to excess, he will never believe that anything is his fault. My dad is a kind generous person when sober. Four to six pints later "obnoxious" kicks in, everyone is wrong and he is always right. By his own free will he never touches whisky as that seems to bring on a touch of madness, he is plain nasty when he drinks that.

I would say in that state he wouldn't have driven home as someone would have noticed the erratic driving over the course of that distance. In his befuddled state he is more likely to have driven somewhere not too far away and finished off whatever supplies he still had in his car, then after firing off a few nasty texts to you, he's passed out. Could this behaviour be the reason his wife won't let him see his child? Probably...and maybe the reason his friend let him down - maybe they've had enough of having to keep an eye on him when they go out anywhere because of the arguments he causes.

None of this is your fault - you told him you wouldn't be drinking and you were going out. Normal friends would have had a few glasses of wine if they'd brought some and then gone to bed at the same time as you. That's what you do when you're a guest in someone's house. You've tried to be a good friend, he's thrown it in your face, so stay well away from him now.