Will situation - getting desperate for advice!

Nottoobadyet

Sitbh wrote: »

They have a house out there (and i seem to remember she complained about having such a long mortgage left on it.. despite being in her 60s and my dad being 59 when he passed - would a bank give them a mortgage THAT long at such an age with very decent salaries (stepmum = self employed psychologist. dad = bank manager).

Yes. There are tax benefits in America to people keeping a mortgage, so people almost never pay it off. My parents have been able to refinance their mortgage regularly well into their 50s and early 60s as long as they had decent salaries. Go figure.

Sitbh

BitterAndTwisted wrote: »

It would make me smell a fish, too. But what, if anything, you are able to do about it remains to be seen. People can be found if you have the wit to do so. If she's a psychologist then she will belong to a professional organisation, or either be teaching or practicing somewhere over there.

Whether delving into all this will get you any answers, I cannot say. It might mean a whole new world of pain for you all and no resolution.

I know where she lives (my dads house..). I don't know if she is back in work or not yet (AFAIK she stopped working because of his death). I still have her email address, home/cell numbers etc. I haven't lost her, i just get no reply from her.

I'd just like to know the answers. That for me would give a resolution. I have contacted Indiana government help center to see if they can forward me on to a department where i can receive some (free) help. It's a bit of a difficult situation being overseas though..

Nottoobadyet wrote: »

Yes. There are tax benefits in America to people keeping a mortgage, so people almost never pay it off. My parents have been able to refinance their mortgage regularly well into their 50s and early 60s as long as they had decent salaries. Go figure.

Interesting information - thanks for that. Then perhaps she does still have a big mortgage left on the property. That may decrease it's estate value but would not leave it worthless and so would still be interested to know what happens with it.

!!!!!! wrote: »

This assumes that no will was made in America. Something that neither we nor the OP has yet determined.

If there was a will and everything left to the step-mum then considering step-mum & step children didn't get on then there is no reason why the step-mum should stay in contact

What's interesting to note is that we didn't openly 'not get on'. In fact, we were all pleasant to each other and had a decent (as decent as it could be) relationship up until she stopped contact.

You are right though.. I don't know if a will was made and if so, what was in it. That's the main (and key) piece of information i'm looking for right now.

Mojisola

Sitbh wrote: »

You are right though.. I don't know if a will was made and if so, what was in it. That's the main (and key) piece of information i'm looking for right now.

I can see why you would want to know. It's all part of the grieving process and the tying up of loose ends.

I would have expected a bank manager to have had good advice about a will but he may not have taken it.

It's normal to suggest, when there is a second marriage, that some provision is made for the children of the first marriage, even if they don't inherit until after the second death.

BitterAndTwisted

I suggest you write her a letter asking how she is. If there's even the slightest whiff of you enquiring and hoping that there's an inheritance coming your way I'd not answer you. Especially if his affairs have not been wound up yet. It's only been six months, can things take as long or longer here if it's not completely straightforward? I dunno

Errata

Is there something like our Probate Service in America - where wills have to be proved and the Service keeps the original which anyone on payment of a small fee can request a copy of?

mountainofdebt

Well for what's it worth I 'openly' got on with my FIL's partner at the time of his death but to be honest I wouldn't have crossed the road to pi$$ on her if she was on fire (and I suspect the feeling was mutual) .

Since my FIL has died no one has has contact with her and I know she has seen me in the local supermarket and not acknowledged me (I know I haven't acknowledged her either.....)

Tbh if your dad was in receipt of a pension from anywhere, your stepmum would have had an obligiation to tell them of your dad's death ......to not do would have been fraud.

If you're that concerned perhaps the best thing to do would to be to go to the US and deal with matters directly - emails can be ignored but its difficult to ignore a person when they're standing in front of you

Sitbh

Errata wrote: »

Is there something like our Probate Service in America - where wills have to be proved and the Service keeps the original which anyone on payment of a small fee can request a copy of?

I'm having trouble finding something of the sort. I was hoping someone here would have some experience with it but the lack of information on it leads me to believe it doesn't exist. I believe the laws on Wills are similar to ours (it needs a witness/cosign) but not sure if it has to be run through a probate court (and if so.. where are they?!).

mountainofdebt wrote: »

Well for what's it worth I 'openly' got on with my FIL's partner at the time of his death but to be honest I wouldn't have crossed the road to pi$$ on her if she was on fire (and I suspect the feeling was mutual) .

Since my FIL has died no one has has contact with her and I know she has seen me in the local supermarket and not acknowledged me (I know I haven't acknowledged her either.....)

Tbh if your dad was in receipt of a pension from anywhere, your stepmum would have had an obligiation to tell them of your dad's death ......to not do would have been fraud.

If you're that concerned perhaps the best thing to do would to be to go to the US and deal with matters directly - emails can be ignored but its difficult to ignore a person when they're standing in front of you

That would be a great option if i could finance the trip. Unfortunately because i am in such a competitive industry working from the bottom up, any time off work would be hard to get (im in a weird 'freelancer' yet payroll employee situation in the film industry). That and the fact i'm not in a financially good situation (especially not to spent £500+ on a trip to Indiana). You are probably right about the mutual relationship we have. Seems civil, yet probably isn't.

Mojisola wrote: »

I can see why you would want to know. It's all part of the grieving process and the tying up of loose ends.

I would have expected a bank manager to have had good advice about a will but he may not have taken it.

It's normal to suggest, when there is a second marriage, that some provision is made for the children of the first marriage, even if they don't inherit until after the second death.

I'm glad i'm not crazy and others can see this from my perspective. My mum, despite disliking (verging on hating) my dad, also agrees that he would not have shunned his two children. He was very open about making contact after the divorce and his move to USA and constantly encouraged us to go out there and see him more and often, he would often pay for flights and other things when we were out there etc. It seems very uncharacteristic of him to have left everything to my stepmum (in a will), but then again, he did conjure up a plan to remortgage my mum's house, get made redundant and jet off over the pond. More reasons why i'd like to know what's going on.

Errata

Have a read of this, it will give you a pointer http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Probate#United_States

floss2

How often have you contacted your stepmother?

daska

You could probably do worse than to ask for help on a forum there. A quick google found http://indianaprobate.com/IndianaProbateForum/tabid/70/Default.aspx.