Fed up

Jojo_the_Tightfisted

Do you still love him?


Does he still love you?


No point worrying about rubbish presents if you are ignoring the Bigger Picture.

esmf73

MY OH is like this. Substitute World of Warcraft for Motorbike and you've got mu life - except we have two kids! I Sent him a text this week telling him I wanted flowers and fizz on Friday night as I've worked really hard this week and its been a hell of a week with DS1. I reminded him on Thursday and when he got home on Friday I got flour (plain and self raising) and diet coke - I wasn't too annoyed as I'd just used up my last flour and drank the coke, but he did get a bunch of flowers, so he was forgiven.

I have learnt over 15 years that if I want something I have to specifically ask for it - hints don't work. I have to use a sledgehammer!!!!! I also remember reading something somewhere along the lines of - if you leave your partner because they're boring, predictable and samey (!) someone will find your partner THE most intelligent, fun, unpredicatable person in the universe and be rivited on their every word. This has kept me with him when the going is tough - and its been really tough.

Good luck

pearl123

OP- I do understand how you feel. I sometimes feel totally invisable to my OH. By the end of a week I can feel quite, quite misserable by it. And then there can be erruptions because he's blindly ignored my feelings. Womens expections regarding relationship and love are perhaps quite high because of romatic films etc.
Your comments rang bells with me. I do have a mother who's around all the time because of her mental health problems. Your mum is not helping your situation. And mine is not helping mine. It's very difficult to have a close relationship with a partner when the a parent slap bag in the middle of it. Try a long spell if you can without your parents around and see if you relationship improves.
Plus you need to let your OH know how you fee.

Crisp_£_note

esmf73 wrote: »

MY OH is like this. Substitute World of Warcraft for Motorbike and you've got mu life - except we have two kids! I Sent him a text this week telling him I wanted flowers and fizz on Friday night as I've worked really hard this week and its been a hell of a week with DS1. I reminded him on Thursday and when he got home on Friday I got flour (plain and self raising) and diet coke - I wasn't too annoyed as I'd just used up my last flour and drank the coke, but he did get a bunch of flowers, so he was forgiven.

I have learnt over 15 years that if I want something I have to specifically ask for it - hints don't work. I have to use a sledgehammer!!!!! I also remember reading something somewhere along the lines of - if you leave your partner because they're boring, predictable and samey (!) someone will find your partner THE most intelligent, fun, unpredicatable person in the universe and be rivited on their every word. This has kept me with him when the going is tough - and its been really tough.

Good luck

Now thats what I call romantic thoughts with an apreciative giggle :rotfl::D You lucky lady you!

Lotus-eater

CrazyRed wrote: »

If he lasted a month, I'd take my hat off to him. I wouldn't get past two days before moving out to the shed.:D

Well I lasted a bit more than 2 days, but in general the principle, yes

The last time my MIL stayed, I made it 3 days, before the motorbike and the garage tools suddenly became alot more interesting.

tesuhoha

Maybe he needs a bit of 'man' time'. Men need to be left in peace for a while. Are you constantly talking to him and trying to get a response. If he is allowed to retreat into his cave for a while (basically leave him alone) he will be more attentive and responsive when he comes out of it hopefully. Also maybe you could compromise with some outings he enjoys like maybe banger racing or an air show or something and you could have your picnic there?

floss2

I too think you have a communication issue, in that there doesn't seem to be any going on. It's all very well one person making a decision and telling the other, but that can be quite high-handed and smacks of a parent & child relationship. It is much more respectful and adult to ask what the other person feels about a suggestion, whether they have any ideas and finally "shall we do xxx this weekend then, or would you rather do xxx?" You may find that this gets a better response than being told what to do, as if a naughty child.

As to hints for presents - I am lucky in that my DH is very good at hints and indeed his profession is based on listening so he picks up on things that I didn't even hint at! However, the former husband was incapable and had to have a written list of specific items when it came to Christmas & birthdays. Not everybody does hints, or even follows gentle persuasion - written in black & white is usually a better way to go.