Is my friend a hoarder?

bigpound

Is my friend a hoarder or has some other problem?

They have these traits:

• Unwillingness to purchase/upgrade to new things, even if old item is very very worn or obsolete. The old item will literally have to be falling to pieces or be completely broken and unfixable before they buy a new one.

For example if a £30 cd player was to stop working, they'd rather go through the work of buying replacement parts for £5-£10 off the web to fix it. Instead of just ordering a new one.

• When they get gifts for birthday/xmas to replace items in their home, they refuse to throw the old item away. For example they were given a hand mixer for cooking, but they refuse to eBay/bin the old one, instead storing it away.

When I say 'old' I am talking at least 10+ years.


Now all the above would be completely understandable if their financial situation was really tight, but it's not. It's possibly quite the opposite. Or if they were some kind of eco-warrior who hates how wasteful humans are with the environment, but there's absolutely nothing to suggest this.

Whenever I have challenged them for example, 'If you get rid of this old junk from this room, you could use this room for something useful' they respond badly and say they will get round to it in the future. In one year they would will throw one old thing out, and buy 5-10 more things.

BitterAndTwisted

Their financial situation could be a direct result of their moneysavingexpertness. Why do you feel the need to "challenge" someone about the way they choose to live? It's not your business, even if they were mentally ill it still wouldn't be. Please consider keeping your nose out of other people's lives. No good can come of it.

HappyMJ

Does it really matter? Your friend likes stuff... I have too much stuff too. I must get rid of some more stuff but I might just need it one day. Unlikely though. It's not a problem unless it's like the Collyer brothers in the US.

mrcow

They sound completely normal. They've probably got more money because they don't pee it up the wall like some do.

P.S. Do you not think it's perhaps a little rude to go around someone else's house and criticise how they live their lives? I'm not surprised they dont take it well. Is anyone being caused harm by this?

arbroath_lass

Has your friend asdked for your opinion? Why are you "challenging" them. If your friend is happy why is any of this your concern? Why waste £30 when it only costs £10 to repair? And it's their house/room what they do with it is entirely up to them.

BTW lots of people keep older items as a "spare" - electrical items have a habit of breaking at the most awkward times.

McKneff

If I was your friend I'd be asking 'what's it got to do with you, like'

If its the way your friend wants to live, butt out, its no ones business but theirs.

Anyway, why are you criisising your friend on a public forum. You wouldnt be my friend for very
long slagging me off behind my back.

BitterAndTwisted

It's very presumptuous indeed, to put it mildly, to think you can go into someone else's home and "challenge" them or criticise thee way they choose to live without invitation. Why do you think your friend responded badly when you did so? They obviously have much better manners than you do. Plesae leave your friend alone. Make suggestions and offer to help only when you are asked.

Tiddlywinks

I have only just changed my very old CRT for a new flat screen - Yes, I could have bought a shiny more up-to-date one long ago BUT the old one kept on working so I chose to wait until I had to make the change.

My sofa suite is over 25 years old - an Ercol which I have recovered and re-strapped many times.

I'm still using a 12 year old CD player - I don't have an MP3 player at all. Why? Because my CD player is still working and I'm just not fussed about getting the latest gadgets until I need them.

I only change my mobile when the old one stops working.... the same for all my other stuff - I'd hate to think my "friends" were criticising me behind my back just because I didn't spend money like it was going out of fashion.

Like me, perhaps your friend chooses to use her money wisely rather than wanting to appear to "keep up with the Jones".

Besides, if you were really her true friend then you would just be accepting of her lifestyle choice and not standing as judge and jury!

mountainofdebt

To answer your question yes your friend does sound like a hoarder

Now answer mine

what's it to do with you?

bigpound

Tiddlywinks, you sound exactly like them!

To all the people saying it's none of your business: they keep complaining they don't have enough space and need to clear out all their stuff to eventually sell the place.

mountainofdebt

bigpound wrote: »

Tiddlywinks, you sound exactly like them!

To all the people saying it's none of your business: they keep complaining they don't have enough space and need to clear out all their stuff to eventually sell the place.

But its still none of your business

If you're fed up of them complaining about the lack of space just say to them that the solution easy clear some of the carp out of their house and repeat it every time they moan.

They will either listen and clean the carp out or they will stop being your friend - either way you won't have to listen to them moaning