How to cope with being a single parent? :'(

AimeesMum_2

Hi everyone,

Thanks for reading my post.

I am 23yrs old, 2 children - 1 and 3yrs old and have recently split with my partner of 5 years.

I work full time and my children are with a childminder 50 hours a week. Since splitting up a few weeks ago, I just feel like I am like a robot. Just doing the daily things that are getting me by. The biggest problem is when the kids go to sleep...I am so lonely I don't have any friends and just feel empty inside.

Does the loneliness ever go away?

pinkshoes

Could you get your ex to have the kids to stay with him on a regular basis so you can get out and meet people?

adamantine

quick answer - yes it does go away.

im 26 and ive been a single mummy of 2 for 3 years. im perfectly happy sat at home on my own in the evenings now just as im perfectly happy when my friends pop round. im content i think is what im trying to say.

there were times when i went to bed when the kids did just coz i was so lonely and you cant be lonely when you are asleep. then i just lay awake coz i wasnt tired and missed another body in bed next to me.

find something you enjoy doing. i love doing my nails and i do nail stamping and water marbelling too so that takes a few hours normally. something that doesnt require much brain power as working full time you will be knackered after the day.

invite the girls round at the weekend for a takeway and a dvd. i used to have saturday nights as a night with a friend and we took turns to cook and bring the food and once a month we would have a takeaway as a treat.

if you ever want to talk to someone please pm me!

AimeesMum_2

Unfortunately not. He suffers from mental health problems which led to a problem with alcohol. This is the reason actually that we split in the end - I just can't understand how I am feeling really as I was so miserable when we were together but feel equally miserable now, albeit safer and relieved that the arguing is over. Just want to feel normal again and happy

*Redhead*

It does go away I promise you.

I've been where you are, and it sucks. After my husband left me (with an under1 year old baby) I found it hard to get out of bed in the mornings. I hated my life.
But because of my DD, I had to get up and face things.

Is there any chance you can put some holidays in at work, give you a chance to recharge your batteries, spend time with the kids etc?

I'm 5 years on now, I have a new partner, 39weeks pregnant with our first baby and my life at the minute is wonderful.

So take it from me, there's light at the end of the tunnel. X

mazza111

Chin up girl. I was in your position about 9 years ago, I thought after the kids, all I had to look forward to was Eastenders. Totally depressed on a Wednesday :rotfl:

Do you have some family support where they can have the kiddies for an evening to allow you to go meet friends. If you have few friends, where you can join a group to meet people.

You will get there, trust me.

Caroline_a

It will get better! Start planning little treats for you and the children so that you have things to look forward to. Maybe plan a holiday for the end of the summer - you don't need to go in the school holidays so can go when it's cheaper! The children will grow up and as they do you will make more friends, mums from school and clubs etc.

You'll end up wishing for quiet evenings in, believe me!!

AimeesMum_2

Thank you Adamantine - I will probably take you up on that offer.

I literally have no 'girls' except from internet friends (god! how sad do I sound? haha!) I'm just worried that I am never going to meet any friends or anyone to spend any time with as with work and the kids, whenever I meet a friend - it's like they want to much from me. I would cancel on nights out and things because the kids were unwell or something else. I just really feel like I need some support from someone or something to take my mind off things.

The last few nights I have went to bed at 8pm and just cried myself to sleep. I don't want to feel sorry for myself anymore - I want to be happy but don't see myself every getting there x

ollow

Hi aimeesmum, I to am a single parent to 2 children I have been since October, I moved to a new area and have not managed to make any "girl" friends, so most nights are spent on here or in front of the tv. If you need a natter please feel free to pm me.

mazza111

It's early days yet hon. I still don't have a lot of female friends after all these years, but that's probably cos I get on better with men, you will get there, just give it time x

adamantine

AimeesMum wrote: »

Thank you Adamantine - I will probably take you up on that offer.

I literally have no 'girls' except from internet friends (god! how sad do I sound? haha!) I'm just worried that I am never going to meet any friends or anyone to spend any time with as with work and the kids, whenever I meet a friend - it's like they want to much from me. I would cancel on nights out and things because the kids were unwell or something else. I just really feel like I need some support from someone or something to take my mind off things.

The last few nights I have went to bed at 8pm and just cried myself to sleep. I don't want to feel sorry for myself anymore - I want to be happy but don't see myself every getting there x

im in slightly better a position as i moved back to my home town when i left my ex but most of my friends have moved away. ive only got 1 friend in the local area but she works long shifts. i havent actually seen her since new years eve.

honestly please do pm me and vent or whatever you want .