Im not going to be an Ostrich anymore (or in short F1s debt diary)

f1widow

My head is no longer going to be buried deep in the sand - some days it might be a little under the surface but definately out more than in!

This may be the first day of the rest of my life (or at least 10 of them anyway!)
Im 40 have a hubby and one son - we have lived with our heads in the sand too long ................ (which I know is horrifyng to some and we do deserve a telling off) - Ive been ill for nearly 5 years and been unable to work - hubby works so we have an income there and I do get benefits
Through circumstance and illness we find ourselves considerably in debt (lets just say its more than 40K but less than 50k (exact figures to be found out tomorrow) Ive had anxiety/depression etc (and am awaiting further diagnosis for other medical problems) for years and have been given the assistance of a Money Advisor from the Council who we have a meeting with tomorrow - their answer is Bankruptcy .............. this has scared both hubby and I and am wondering whether there is another answer???? and having not really gone into our income I am wondering whether its just the amount and length of time we have had them that they have decided upon this decision.

I had a "lightbulb moment" before but electric supply went off on that one (hence a diary to keep myself going!) plus I can never get my head round how to maintain a budget when things go up or you get a hiccup etc

Stupidly over the years we could have paid this amount off but by not being honest with ourselves and keeping a grip on it its still outstanding

Ive read a couple of diaries today and see other people have this amount of debt - Im not sure by just reading a bit here and there whether they went bankrup or whether they are just paying it off on a pro-rata basis after taking into consideration priority debts - any opinions on this would be gratefully received.

So here we go - I have a hundred and one ideas of saving money, selling things cutting back etc etc etc but Im frightened of peeking too early - any support to keep it going would be great

But Im ready (well I think I am) to do this - the road ahead is not going to be easy but Im just going to take one day at a time
Thanks for reading and as Ive said any support or help would be greatly appreciated x
PS Thought I would just say I do have some good points as well as being hopeless with money - I enjoy all things crafty - knit for charity which is a big thing for me and love making cards
Will report back tomorrow after the meeting in the morning

Hovel_lady

Hello :hello:
A shiny new diary :T

Have you looked at the CCCS wedsite and done their debt remedy?
http://www.cccs.co.uk/

Might be worth putting a SOA (statement of affairs) on the main DFW board as well.
Oh, and do you keep a spending diary? If not do start one. It'll show you exactly where your money is going.

Hope that's helpful, I'll be subscribing

BEAT_THE_DEBT

Hi and welcome , just to echo hovel lady really an soa and cccs are fab! xx

f1widow

Thanks BEAT THE DEBT and Hovel Lady - a bit of virtual support is great - just what I needed ....

Well the meeting this morning was err "reasonable" - more confused than I first was - here are his suggestions

1. Top of the list - bankruptcy
2. IVA
3. Ask creditors if they will write certain debts off ie if they are in my name and there is no foreseeable means because of my ill health to pay them etc and then do a payment plan based on pro-rata offers to anything left over - it would mean paying things off over a longer time but would not have the implications of bankruptcy.

Mr F1 is very very very against bankruptcy - in some ways I share his view but in others I would like it to be sorted and not to go on for years and years - we have spent all our 17 years together robbing peter to pay paul and are still in the same mess - we are not getting any younger and do not have any assets or proper pensions for the future etc - I dont want to hide from the postman and the phone for the rest of my life pretending we are ok - BUT we are not strong people and the implications of bankruptcy to us are very scary for example having trouble getting rented accommodation, paying for household bills monthly, car and household insurance being a problem - as he puts it the advisor can advise but he wont have to live it (by this he means I sort it and worry about it he just worries about it :rotfl:)

BUT I MUST POINT OUT WE WILL NEVER HAVE CREDIT AGAIN - IT OUR NEW MANTRA

Although the third option is lengthy and complicated to me it would make me less ashamed of the debts - going bankrupt to me is almost like just getting rid of it - I do feel that we have to accept responsibility for what we have done / not done and at least try and pay back some or all of what we owe - whilst a lot is not our own fault some is - I hope no one takes offence at this last paragraph its just my own very muddled opinion - I dont think that this is what everyone must feel for one minute - its just me

Thanks for listening virtual "ears" - Im probably talking rubbish but my ramblings are what is going round in my head at the moment.

Im off to do something positive - will update later

PinotGrigio41

Hey I've found you !

Well done on your LBM, and I can totally understand all the thoughts, muddles and questions buzzing around in your head. Youve read my diary ( well some of it, it goes on a bit and off on a tangent at times as well !!) so you know we are hoping to beat this battle without the need for bankruptcy also. I doubt anyone would take offence at your last paragraph, we also wanted to take responsibility fo rour debts. Its your diary to say exactly what pops into your head and whatever you please !

I do echo Beat the Debt and Hovel Lady though re the SOA (although it took me a while to do mine I must confess!) , and also look at the Debt Remedy on CCCS. It may be worth obtaining a few different opinions before making a definite decision re the the way forward. There are plenty of people though, with much more worldly advice than me !

Keep positive, keep smiling and I have also subscribed to help you along your merry way !

Pinot x

ginnyknit

I agree with those before me -contact CCCS they are lovely and so helpful. The relief I got when they sorted out my repayment plan was wonderful. They don't judge you or make you fell silly they just calmly help - and its free! It was thanks to MSE advice that I contacted then and had a better nights sleep than I had in years, our problems were caused by OH's illness and him not being capable of dealing with everything.

PinotGrigio41

I think also that as much as its embarrassing finally telling someone exactly what a mess you are in, you know that they have heard it all before and as ginnyknit says they dont judge you. I was on the phone for 3 hours, sobbing and sniffling, ( I bet the poor man really wanted to go off on his lunchbreak, but he calmly let me burble on !) but it was as though a huge weight had been lifted, and I slept that night, which for me was such a rarity !

f1widow

Hello all - hi ginnyknit (I think I know you from another forum???)

Thanks for support - SOA yes Im going to do it - Im going to take a deep breath on that one I dont think its going to be done in a hurry:o

I spoke to CCCS once before and I dont want to be negative but I did not get on very well with them (maybe it was me maybe I was not prepared to accept what they said back then - things are different now)

Anyway todays positive - only a little one as I ended up getting involved with something else - I FOUND £3.05 in loose change around one room - that has gone in my jar :j:j:j:j
(I know its not much - will try harder tomorrow)

hp48910

Hello, welcome on board:) Keeping a diary is a really great idea. I started mine in the New Year and can honestly say I have been overwhelmed by the support on here. There is always someone willing to advise and it's great to have a laugh and sometimes a moan, knowing others understand.

I'm going to subscribe. Good luck with your journey:)

PurpleTeddyBear

Hi F1 - found you!!
First - you're not alone, there are lots of us in the same proverbial boat.

I can echo again what the others have said, pop onto the CCCS website and fill in their rememdy thingie - most helpful. We've been with them since May, and it's really really taken a HUGE weight from shoulders, and they are people, not machines, who are dealing with the letters etc for us - we get a "nasty", I call CCCS and they tell me what to do, which generally is not to worry.

People can't have what you haven't got, and CCCS will make sure you have enough to pay the bills and the essentials.

Support gets you through, so best of luck, and you know where I am!!

PTB xx

f1widow

purpleteddybear - lovely to see you :j:j

And once again thanks for a new subscriber and support

Now to finish off today (I was doing my post when I got sidetracked and DS kindly "submitted" before I finished
The less positive thing today is that Ive learned only today that after having a long 6 months of migrating from Incapacity Benefit to ESA the powers that be have decided that you can only be on it for 12 months (have posted on the main Benefits forum hopefully there will be some advice there) - after taking the courage to phone DWP (I hate phoning them) a less than friendly operator informed me its to stop people languishing on IB for ever :mad::mad::mad:
But onwards and upwards - I really cant let it affect my positive thoughts and my ongoing health problems and not forgetting the DWP advisor did tell me "not to worry about it" hmmmmmmm

A BIG THANK YOU FOR THE CASH FOR CLOTHES SITE HAVE BOOKMARKED IT AND WILL USE IT ONCE IVE TRIED SELLING SOME BITS ON EBAY FIRST - will spread the word on that one

And a special thank you for my first day of support - very much appreciated (thank you may be all you ever hear me say!:rotfl:)