Kids - Pocket Money, Friends and Birthdays - Who Pays?

fluffnutter

It's just another example of our status-driven super-consumer society. Resist the temptation to facilitate him in this crazy merry-go-round. Kids shouldn't be showering each other with expensive gifts - it's just showing off and you can bet they're all competing against each other to buy the best thing. They're effectively all buying each other's friendships and it just depresses the arse off me.

If he wants to mark the occasion, what's wrong with a card? If he insists that his mates 'deserve' a present, then he buys it himself.

Judith_W

I think a lot of kids are getting a lot less pocket money than this and therefore would find it hard to pay for presents out of it. IMO yours is very generous and as you say he is not spending it all, so I think he should pay for the presents. It is only when kids don't really have their own 'income' that it is reasonable for the parent to pay, i.e. when they are little and only getting a pound or two a week pocket money. Now he has so much I would def think he should pay.

Sambucus_Nigra

Lunar_Eclipse wrote: »

That's a lot of money. I'm now wondering what kind of family environment we're talking about? It seems to be a ludicrous amount of money for a 12 year old to be getting every month

Totally agree; it's about the same as JSA which adults have to use to fund their lifestyles...interesting

BJV

I know exactly what you mean it is my sons birthday tomorrow. We have started to get him to earn his pocket money by doing little jobs around the house. Brush the drive way, water the plants etc. If he wants to buy a game for his Ipod he has to pay. It sounds cruel but now instead of asking for anything and everything he seams to be respecting money a bit more.

balletshoes

shellsuit wrote: »

My children would pay for their friend's gifts out of their own money.

Why should I fund their gifts, when I don't even buy my friends birthday gifts?

If your son wants them to have a gift, let him pay!

yep, definitely this - your son is happy to pay for these gifts himself, so let him. He sounds like a sensible lad.

G51shopaholic

Question

Do these 20 friends buy your son a birthday present?

It is good that he wants to pay for his girlfriends pressie but as for the "friends" just tell him to sent them a card. I sure their parents feel them same as you. It might be worth speaking to a few of them.

My daughter is 12 and she's had the same group of friends since kindergarten but now she's at secondary school there is a "new" group of school friends. I nearly had a heart attack when she pipped up at christmas that I'd have to buy 15 boxes of Soap & Glory stuff so she could give each friend one (we normally only give gifts to the 5 friends who live next to us).

She soon changed her mind when I said FINE but it comes out your pocket money!
Problem solved!

Good luck

onlyroz

When I was at school I think I bought presents for maybe 4-5 of my closest friends on their birthday, and I wouldn't have dreamed of asking my parents for the money.

Your lad does seem to have plenty of money and so I'd say it was up to him to get all these presents. Perhaps then he might decide that it's just not feasible to be buying for 20 people each year...

Ex-Spendaholic

Thanks for all the replies. :beer:

Just to answer a few questions:

When I refer to him having dinner out on a Saturday I mean at about 5pm after he has been swimming/skating/cinema or whatever. He has lunch and breakfast at home.

He is not "getting" £236 a month. £19 per week is on his music lessons and £10 a week is on school lunches. We pay for the younger 2 kids to have school dinners too as we like them to have a hot meal midday.

With reference to the friends, yes they do buy him gifts. £10 in a card seems to be the going rate.

I know some people would stop pocket money when a part time job is being done but I wanted him to have the incentive of work = reward rather than work equals loses pocket money.

Oldernotwiser

Does he buy Christmas/birthday presents for family members out of his own money?

Alikay

My children and their friends started doing token presents only once they were at secondary school. Actually the boys and their friends all stopped birthday present exchange altogether pretty early on, and DD and her mates carried on with little token gifts and making little crafty bits n bobs/baking cakes for each other right through into uni.