Living With An Alcoholic Partner

sqeeky

He'll see you starve to death before he gives up the drink. And then he would drink because he was 'sad my ex was anorexic and died'. It's more important than anything and anyone else - including you.



They know full well what they are doing, even if they claim they don't - they know but the illness part is that they do not care. Any empathy or understanding gets wiped out in the need to 'need' a drink, plus they aren't drinking for enjoyment, they are drinking for oblivion - getting merry isn't what they want, they want unconsciousness.


It's just not worth it.

VfM4meplse

Emmzi wrote: »

Been a qualified psychiatrist long have you?

What a stupid patronising remark. The nature of addicton is to deny responsiblity and blame others, if you don't understand that then you aren't in a position to make any kind of reasoned comment.

Lotus-eater

meritaten wrote: »

an addict is an addict - whether its to drugs or nicotine or gambling or chocolate or shopping - all these are seen rightly as addictions. so why are alcohol addicts seen as suffering an 'illness'? alcoholics are addicts like any others - what makes thier addiction almost something they 'cant help'? when every other addict is almost vilified? what makes an alcoholic more sympathetic to people than a nicotine addict? both substances are highly addictive to certain people - yet the nicotine addict is told to 'give it up' and given NO sympathy.
could it be that most people like a drink? that alcohol is socially acceptable? yet an alcoholic behaves exactly like a heroin addict - they will do 'ANYTHING' to get alcohol! and they can do untold harm to others when 'under the influence'. even kill people. yet society seems to find this acceptable in many ways. what a strange society we live in!

I suppose because alcohol is so available and almost everyone is encouraged at some point to over imbibe.
My opinion is that most alcoholics are fine till they get drunk a few times, then they seem to lose the ability to know when to stop, they lose all reason.

Whether this is down to psychological or physiological, I don't know, perhaps a combination of both.

Running_Horse wrote: »

A sobering thought; over 90% of alcoholics do not stop drinking.

You can be a part of the problem, or you can have a life.

All this talk of illness from AA and Al-Anon is designed to bond your life, and your guilt, completely around the needs of the person destroying your life. They don't care about you, they care about the alcoholic. It is not an illness; what illness demands a cure from god?

Actually, 90% of treated patients drink at least once in the 4 years after alcohol dependence treatment.

AA is the only agency that believes in a higher power to help stopping drinking. So stop generalising.

fluffnutter

Um, why are you with him? What are you getting out of this relationship? Why do you choose to carry on loving someone who loves alcohol more than they love you? Staying with someone who makes you miserable (and, yes, he does make you miserable or you wouldn't have started this thread) is destructive behaviour. There's much in your opening post that suggests you're just as complicit in his drinking as he is.

You can't change your partner - only he can do that. But you can change your own life. If you haven't done so already, contact someone who will help you, not him. You could try Al-Anon.