is asking someone out via email a bad way???

zoesmummy_2006

I met someone a few months back that i really like (full details on the dating sites thread lol).

Things have been a little chaotic over last couple months what with christmas etc, and my lil boy being poorly so ive kinda let thoughts of him slip from my mind.

We met in a professional capacity when he was called out to my house to deal with some issues i was having, I liked him straight away, I think he was flirting with me when we chatted and ive wanted to ask him out for a drink or something since meeting him. One problem-I only have work details contact wise. I know he's not on facebook as he told me so that rules that one out!!

So, my question is-would an email asking him if he'd like to go for a drink sometime, be wrong as its to his works email???

thegirlintheattic

Do you not have a phone number for him? That would be better. If not send a chatty e-mail and if he replies ask for a phone number or private e-mail.

Does he actually know that you are interested? Does he flirt?

I wouldn't ask him out via a work's e-mail.

zoesmummy_2006

The only phone number I have for him is a work one too unfortunately.

I emailed him with an update to the situation just before christmas as my phones signal was rubbish and kept cutting out with the bad weather. I went for the chatty opton with that, wished him merry christmas and happy new year etc tc. He replied with an update from their end and same back to me and my kids.

He called me today to check how things were, and catch up on the situation, he asked how our xmas/new year was etc, and I know I shoulda just asked him then lol but I was on the way to pick my son up from playgroup and the call took me by suprise-my mum was in stitches at me cos I just went giddy lol. Pathetic haha!!!

thegirlintheattic

zoesmummy_2006 wrote: »

The only phone number I have for him is a work one too unfortunately.

I emailed him with an update to the situation just before christmas as my phones signal was rubbish and kept cutting out with the bad weather. I went for the chatty opton with that, wished him merry christmas and happy new year etc tc. He replied with an update from their end and same back to me and my kids.

He called me today to check how things were, and catch up on the situation, he asked how our xmas/new year was etc, and I know I shoulda just asked him then lol but I was on the way to pick my son up from playgroup and the call took me by suprise-my mum was in stitches at me cos I just went giddy lol. Pathetic haha!!!

In that case, next time you have to call for 'work' related stuff or he comes round ask him then.

make_me_wise

zoesmummy_2006 wrote: »

I met someone a few months back that i really like (full details on the dating sites thread lol).

We met in a professional capacity when he was called out to my house to deal with some issues i was having, I liked him straight away, I think he was flirting with me when we chatted and ive wanted to ask him out for a drink or something since meeting him. One problem-I only have work details contact wise.

The bit I have highlighted has made me think it may not be a good idea to send an email to his workplace asking him out. You dont mention what job he does but it may not be looked at favourably by his employer that he was flirting with someone who he was helping whilst carrying out a professional role.

If he had been flirting and wanted to take it further he could have contacted you outside of work. The fact he hasn't suggests he doesn't want to take things further.

zoesmummy_2006

thank you, thats what ive been thinking about his work and him in general. He had my number so could have easily contacted me.

Lotus-eater

You do have to be very careful here, although we don't know what he does, most companies take a dim view of blokes chatting up single mothers when they are on the job, or single anything.

You have to be a bit careful and clever.

Not a workplace email and not ringing him at work.

If you know his name, you can find out his home number and ring him there, but don't forget there might be a female answering. Also, if he is not interested, depending on his job, you might be put on a "crazy list".
If you know his mobile, you can ring him out of hours. (as above)

There may be other ways, but without knowing more, I can't answer. Just be careful, you don't want to cost him him job, or to put any suspicion on him.

If he's the gasman or the rat trapper, then no one would bat an eyelid. If he's your social worker, all hell would break loose.

HangTime

It's far too easy to talk yourself out of things that way - for all you know, he could have posted on another forum saying:

"I met this woman I really liked, but it was in a professional capacity through work so it might seem really creepy if I asked her out or gave her my personal contact details, like I am a stalker or something. I called her up today to check how things were, so she could easily have asked me out if she was interested... "

I'd go with thegirlintheattic's suggestion to start a chatty email conversation and then ask for a personal email/number. If he refuses then at least you know where you stand and can move on, if not then game on

Lotus-eater

zoesmummy_2006 wrote: »

thank you, thats what ive been thinking about his work and him in general. He had my number so could have easily contacted me.

That's a big no no, for most industries, if not all.

That's called hitting on the clients and is strictly off the menu. Very strictly. Lose your job, strictly.

IF he is self employed, he MIGHT be able to get round it, by hoping you feel the same way, but if it goes wrong, he ends up losing more than the employed bloke.

Just tread carefully. I don't want to stop you from saying anything, because it might work. These things are always better said person to person

make_me_wise

If his professional contact with you had anything to do with your childrens welfare I would avoid contacting him to suggest 'going out'. It may have seemed flattering that he was flirting with you. However if he gives that impression to all the people he comes into contact with whilst working in what, reading between the lines, sounds like sensitive circumstances then it actually becomes a bit creepy. Just trying to see this from another viewpoint.

missmontana

If you don't ask you don't get! I've seen the other thread, I think you should go for it, maybe he hasn't contacted you because he would be the one in the wrong for doing so as you met him through his job, but if its you that asks him, then there's not so much harm done.

I think you should ask him for a personal number or email first, if he refuses that, then it saves you the embarrassment of actually asking him out!