Do I "OWE" my ex?

JimmyTheWig

If that was the agreement you had at the time, though, I'm not sure on what grounds you want to change things now?
Are you saying that whilst you were together you agreed to pay her back for these things when you were working, but now you've split up you don't want to?

Mojisola

CJC01 wrote: »

I have recently split from my partner of 4 years. We have a child together who is 2 1/2 years old and I have moved out of the family home.

Over our time together she claims I owe her £5000 for general things couple pay together such as rent, bills, car etc.

I checked with my bank and over a 3 year period she has received by cheque or bank transfer over £24,000 for "said" rent, bills, car etc.

CJC01 wrote: »

It was her house (mortgage in her name)

In real terms I was paying half the mortgage cost, car repayments (which is also in her name), house and car insurance, half the childcare, council tax, sky and utility bills.

She paid for half the mortgage and half the childcare and that is it.

I can't see how she imagines you owe her anything. You, by paying towards the mortgage and bills, may have acquired a "beneficial interest" in the property.

Bluemeanie_2

Even though you have a 50/50 split, is she keeping all the child benefit and tax credits for the child? (They may have increased since you have moved out)

CJC01

Yes she is keeping any benefits that are given by the government. To be fair to her I don't think she actually claims anything apart from the statutory £40 per month.

I really don't want anything from her but I want to know whether or not I "owe" her anything and if I am being taken for a ride!

Bluemeanie_2

Statutory £40 a month? Child benefit is £20.30 a week for the first child. Whatever happens I would advise her/you to claim tax credits. Especially if you are paying childcare.

Bluemeanie_2

CJC01 wrote: »

Yes she is keeping any benefits that are given by the government. To be fair to her I don't think she actually claims anything apart from the statutory £40 per month.

I really don't want anything from her but I want to know whether or not I "owe" her anything and if I am being taken for a ride!

You do not "owe" her anything. You chose to live together, with no marriage/divorce laws to protect interests. You lived a s a family. It's just one of those things where you have to accept you lived as a family for the benefit of all of you. Financially you win some, you lose some with this kind of arrangement setting.

make_me_wise

I think it is awful that she is effectively trying to blackmail you into giving this money and theratening to take your son away if it isn't forthcoming.

If your relationship with her hasn't completely broken down I think you need to address this as soon as possible. Above all else it isn't fair to the child to potentially be deprived of having a relationship with you.

It sounds as if she is lashing out and is panicking about how she will manage financially now that the running costs for the house are down to her. Maybe she feels she cannot cope and meet all her living costs and her only option is to return home to where she will have family around her to help.

If I were you I would be working out how much the csa would expect you to pay in maintenance for your child and either ask her to set an arrangement up with you direct or through them.

There is probably something you can do to legally stop her from taking your child out of the country but I am not knowledgeable in that area to be able to advise. I would recommend making an appointment with a solicitor.

lostsheep

Hold up. Why are people still telling him to check what the CSA would expect him to pay in child support and start paying asap? It defies reason... if they're splitting the care 50 50 already, and child support is based on income, then surely the only reasonable way for child support payments to be introduced would be for the higher earner (in this case it sounds like the OP's ex) to pay the balance to the lower earner (the OP), based on each paying the other half of the full rate (which I think someone mentioned was 15%, so 7.5% from each of them).

C_Mababejive

As far as i can see..you owe her maintenance for your child which may or may not be settled via the CSA and you also owe her expenses as yet undetermined,for providing a home for your child.

As someone else has stated, you may also have acquired a beneficial interest in the family home by virtue of your contributions to it.

Unless you can get legal aid, i think it would be unduly costly for you to press for such a settlement though you could use the suggestion of it to belay her demands. In the mean time google TOLATA.

CJC01

I don't see how I can owe her maintainence? From the day we split and I moved out we have been sharing custody. A week at my house, a week at her house and so on and so on.