DMP & Mutual Support Thread - Part 8

rdchick

first email reply from my letters I sent out (I need to call CCCS and find out where I need to go from here) the reply was from PDUK, a rather nice email tbh, personalised and just wanting to know who was dealing with my DMP etc and they would put the account on hold while payment was set up good times! I also have respect for them not calling me... unlike Aqua and Vanquis who ring daily... even on Sundays when I have asked them to write! Crazy! xxx

klfairy

I'm so so so frustrated.

We are totally TOTALLY broke this month. We should be fine next month onwards (although things will be tight) but this month is a struggle.

OH has just asked if I wanted anything from the shop. I told him he can't spend any money. He wants tobacco. This is after forgetting to take his sandwiches and tobacco this morning so he had to buy food and fags.

So he's taken money out of his birthday card (birthday is on Wednesday) and nigh-on flounced out saying where he'd got it from.

I'm so peed off, yet I'm the villain. Plus he's DRIVEN the quarter of a mile to the shop. He's got no bloody idea and doesn't seem to take it in. He kept driving DS to nursery even in good weather, when it's quicker to actually walk there.

What do I have to do to get him to wake up and smell the lack of money?

moohound

I had a statement from the post office credit card demanding £211 this morning any telling me I am in arrears (duh)
And in another envelope a flyer from them telling me to take my credit card abroard and buy loads of fun thing this summer:rotfl: it will be a decade before I can afford to go abroad again and I won't be using a credit card.

The above poster should tell her OH that tobacco is a luxury and he can either smoke or eat, take your pick. I am a very anti smoking as my dad has inoperable lung cancer.:( my free child care that I thought would be forever is now £500 a month and hence I am starting debt management.

ben80

klfairy - I'd start buying less in the monthly shop, put less on his plate, but more of the things he doesn't enjoy so much. How to fix it? Spend less on fuel, tobacco etc., then you'll be able to afford nicer things... I suspect this advice is easier sad than done!

rdchick - Vanquis keep sending me 'pre-approved' letters offering me a credit card, god knows where they found my details - won't be going with them if I can help it!

klfairy

I think while I'm on the summer holidays I can do the shopping without him, and yes I can definitely cut back. He always wants lots of snack food (I don't know how he hasn't got scurvy) which I don't buy if I'm shopping alone. Plus I'm quite happy to buy things like value butter and he always turns his nose up, wanting to spend the extra 10-30p for one in a nicer wrapper that tastes the same.

Gah it's so annoying to have to be the grown up all the time. I shouldn't have to tell him off for spending money.

bertman

klfairy wrote: »

I think while I'm on the summer holidays I can do the shopping without him, and yes I can definitely cut back. He always wants lots of snack food (I don't know how he hasn't got scurvy) which I don't buy if I'm shopping alone. Plus I'm quite happy to buy things like value butter and he always turns his nose up, wanting to spend the extra 10-30p for one in a nicer wrapper that tastes the same.

Gah it's so annoying to have to be the grown up all the time. I shouldn't have to tell him off for spending money.

It really is time to sit him down and go through the facts and figures, you will probably find that he really does know its bad but pride will be getting in the way. He won't want to admit defeat.
When our business was collapsing we tried everything to appear normal and put on a show, but behind closed doors we were worried sick.
Things will get better but you have to both get into this, its a state of mind saving money and not splashing out on rubbish that you really don't need.....

Growurown

Tigsmom wrote: »

If the company you work for bank with Natwest and that's why your wages were late, thus causing you to be charged, can't you put a claim in to your wages dept and then they claim it back from Natwest?

Tried that but they were as about as useful as a chocolate teapot. According to them they processed the salaries the money was there to be paid and it is not their fault that the bank messed up.

Grand_Benders wrote: »

From what I can see on other people's posts, ODs are the things that creditors really hammer you on the most when it comes to charges and interest. They all seem happy enough to accommodate CCs, loans, etc, but ODs somehow seem to make them act like d**ks (pardon my french).

This does not bode well for our 2 Santander ODs.

Agree with this. Out of all our debts it is only the overdraft that we are still being charged for.

Tigsmom

Hi KL, I think if you are the one paying the bills etc your OH won't be as aware of the seriousness of the situation as you. He probably goes to the cash machine and sees there's money in there without thinking about what else still needs to come out of it. My OH used to go to the local shop in the car for a loaf of bread. It's taken months of cutting down on shopping to the point of only being able to feed the kids properly and living of smartprice noodles (11p a pkt from ASDA) myself before we finally admitted defeat and turned to CCCS for help. My OH cycles everywhere now and says he actually prefers it now. He is fitter, gets home quicker and it it's saving us money. You just need to sit and talk to your OH and be blunt. My OH gets a bit frustrated with the situation and is dreading whats ahead but now we are on the DMP road there is at least a light at the end of the tunnel if we can hang in there.

Got our first call from Barclaycard today (I just knew they would be the ones to cause trouble. We didn't even want a Barclaycard because we'd had problems in the past but then they took over Egg!) They have yet to get past the answer machine though.

Tigsmom

Growurown wrote: »

Tried that but they were as about as useful as a chocolate teapot. According to them they processed the salaries the money was there to be paid and it is not their fault that the bank messed up.

Yes but it's THEIR BANK that's messed up!!! Only they can make a claim. I'd go back and tell them your bank has told you to claim against them.

rdchick

So the letters and calls are slowing down now, yesterday I got 2 letters... 1 to ask me to give blood again (someone always wants something - joke! I love giving blood!) and the other was from Very to say we've upped your credit limit!! Lol! I am in arrears with them but now have over £800 to spend... absolutely ridiculous!

On other notes, how/when do you find out who is dealing with your DMP with CCCS? I have to tell PDUK... xxx