Thoughts about current situation

DCFC79

Wondered if i could get other peoples opinion on a situation. A relative of mine is living in his now former parents house which will have to be sold soon. The reason why im posting is he has become friends with a female and were an item and despite not meeting her/knowing her my opinion of her isnt very nice but it is all based on rumours.

The female who he is seeing works for an estate agents and as the house is to be sold we believe the female has or has tried to encourage him to let the estate agents who she works for to sell the house. I actually think she heard about the passing of his parents and thoguht she could make a quick buck somehow.

We have to this point discouraged him from letting the estate agent put the house on the market nad get 3 or even 4 different quotes and go with the best 1. Have we handled this well and is there anything else we could/should do. Its very tricky as we dont want to push too hard and end up upsetting him. Unfortunately we live too far to do anything on a day to day basis but we speak on the phone and do try to go and see him.

19lottie82

So you've never met her, and everything you have heard is based on rumours?

Does this even have anything to do with you? If I was your relative I wouldn't thank you for interfering even AFTER you have met her and know the truth and certainly not before!

I really doubt someone would shack up with a bloke just to get a sale for the EA that she works for!

tea_lover

DCFC79 wrote: »

The female who he is seeing works for an estate agents and as the house is to be sold we believe the female has or has tried to encourage him to let the estate agents who she works for to sell the house. I actually think she heard about the passing of his parents and thoguht she could make a quick buck somehow.

Why do you think this?? It's quite an extreme opinion to form of someone you've never met.

DCFC79

tea_lover wrote: »

Why do you think this?? It's quite an extreme opinion to form of someone you've never met.

Shes apparently been married a few times and was still married when she was seeing my relative.

Im entitled to have an opinion of someone, theres no law against that

19lottie82 wrote: »

So you've never met her, and everything you have heard is based on rumours?

Does this even have anything to do with you? If I was your relative I wouldn't thank you for interfering even AFTER you have met her and know the truth and certainly not before!

I really doubt someone would shack up with a bloke just to get a sale for the EA that she works for!

We aren't interefering at all, we havent even said a bad word about her to him as we dont even know her but we entitled to an opinion whether its right or wrong.

Yes it does have something to do with me, he is my uncle and i feel / we feel we need to help him, i dont want to see him get less money for the house than what he is entitled to, well want him to get the best price for the place so he can move somewhere smaller.

Maybe your right on your last point and if im wrong then im wrong.

Thanks for the replies

aliasojo

DCFC79 wrote: »

The female who he is seeing works for an estate agents and as the house is to be sold we believe the female has or has tried to encourage him to let the estate agents who she works for to sell the house. I actually think she heard about the passing of his parents and thoguht she could make a quick buck somehow.

We have to this point discouraged him from letting the estate agent put the house on the market nad get 3 or even 4 different quotes and go with the best 1.

Intitial thoughts are....even if this girl is a hussy from hell, she may still actually like/love the bloke and genuinely want to help.

He will have to pay a bill either way so would it be so bad if she benefited in some way if he paid her EA? (Assuming all things are equal with regard to other EA's.) I'm thinking if it were me, that I'd be happy enough for a friend of mine to get a commission or whatever from my business. I'm also thinking it might be useful knowing someone on the 'inside' so to speak.

Nothing wrong in approaching several EA's to compare costs/service provided but what if her EA was a decent one and you have dissuaded him from going there simply because he knows someone who works there?

Perhaps the reasons for your dislike are relevant? If she's known as a con artist then you may have cause for concern. If she's known as someone who likes the lads a bit too much then that may not affect her work or her keenness to help him?

Caroline_a

It actually might be a positive thing, her wanting to make some money - she may try to get the best possible price for the house, and direct purchasers towards it!

DCFC79

aliasojo wrote: »

Intitial thoughts are....even if this girl is a hussy from hell, she may still actually like/love the bloke and genuinely want to help.

He will have to pay a bill either way so would it be so bad if she benefited in some way if he paid her EA? (Assuming all things are equal with regard to other EA's.) I'm thinking if it were me, that I'd be happy enough for a friend of mine to get a commission or whatever from my business. I'm also thinking it might be useful knowing someone on the 'inside' so to speak.

Nothing wrong in approaching several EA's to compare costs/service provided but what if her EA was a decent one and you have disuaded him from going there simply because he knows someone who works there?

Perhaps the reasons for your dislike are relevant? If she's known as a con artist then you may have cause for concern. If she's known as someone who likes the lads a bit too much then that may not affect her work or her keeness to help him?

If it turns out her employer offers the best price then that is who we would go with. Yes i understand what your saying, he's easily swayed / influenced(due to what happened at birth) so I feel we need to help him(im sure everyone else wants to do the same) plus his mum always asked us to help him whatever way we can before she passed away. I have no intention of interfering in his relationship but i want to be sure he is ok.

DCFC79

Caroline_a wrote: »

It actually might be a positive thing, her wanting to make some money - she may try to get the best possible price for the house, and direct purchasers towards it!

Yes there is that also and the rumours we have heard could be completely wrong or she has turned over a new leaf.

aliasojo

DCFC79 wrote: »

I have no intention of interfering in his relationship but i want to be sure he is ok.

And there's no harm in that as long as you base your thoughts on facts and figures rather than rumours and concerns over how many times she's been wed. Imo.

Pee

If he is happy to talk to you about it, then I can see that your advice regarding talking to a few agent's is good advice, but if he has found one he likes and your imput is unneeded, as usually a niece's imput regarding the sale of a house would be, then I would keep out of it.

My uncle was doing something that involved an area I am very familiar with and he asked for very little advice regarding it. Do I think that I am more commercially savvy than him and have a greater understanding of the area? Yes, I think I do. Do I think that he is capable to decide who he asks for advice and what advice he takes? I most certainly do.

the_cat

If the house has to be sold and therefore an estate agent of one sort or another must be used, why is it a bad thing for your relative to put business in the hands of someone he knows rather than a total stranger? Assuming of course that he pays the same sort of rate and gets the same sort of price that he might from any other?

Never mind what you think you know about her - you haven't met her so are in no position to form a rational view. What do you think of him? Is he in some way a vulnerable person, less than capable of making an adult decision? I assume he is the executor and deemed 'fit for duty' as it were. Assuming that he is, then it is really none of your business. Back off and leave him to make his own choices