House-keeping from Daugher - how much, if any?

Alikay

£20 per month is barely worth the fuss - all your DD will do is cite in the future "I've ALWAYS paid my way, even on low pay!" (believe me she will - they always remember when they contributed, and will use it later on to counsel friends and siblings on the immorality of freeloading ) yet the amount is ridiculously low.

Even on low pay I'd expect 25% of take home pay, maybe factoring in transport costs if they're high, otherwise it's not teaching them anything. As others have mentioned you can save it for them if you wish, although I'd only hand over the savings if it were for a house deposit or something equally major.

maidincornwall

We are in the same sort of situation with our beloved DD1, she left school and went to college, first year was great, second year of 3 yr course she left at easter, up till then we had paid her £20 a month allowance plus petrol to and car insurance and tax to get her to and from college, we made it clear we werent happy with her leaving and she would need to pay her own way once he got a job, she managed to get a ft job as a care worker which she loved, paid us £150 a month plus her own car expenses and I cancelled her allowance as she was now supporting herself. roll on last sept, she starts access to nursing, she loves her care !!! job and wants to train as a nurse, she pays for course, working part time and seems to be enjoying it, 2 days ago, tell us she cant do the academic work on her course, (she does fins it hard but is quite capable with a little effort, her teachers and lecturers agree) Ok she leaves, we are not pleased but at nearly 20 we cant force her to carry on, she is now working PT and therefore as not studying needs to pay some rent we are happy with £150 month as before, she thinks its too much till she gets a ft job! so we have agreed none this month then£100 till she get FT work (which her care agency would give her tomorrow) Does this seem fair? I think so! DD2 is at uni locally and pays no rent, DD1 understands that if she were studying she wouldnt need to pay rent, why do I feel gulity? MIC

maidincornwall

Sorry for ramble and rant, feeling a bit sorry for myself and half a bottle of wine hasnt helped ! x

ClareEmily

My sister went to Uni and my parents and I helped her out financially a lot and I didn't resent this at all, as she was far away from home, I missed her and she was struggling to make ends meet.

At the same time I got my first job, started on £6k and I paid my mum £200 per month, increasing as my wage did (I still had money to spare, more then I do now for sure), it prepared me for when I moved out a few years later, when I had to pay my own rent and other household bills.

My hubby on the other hand paid as and when he had a bit of cash to his mum and nearly fell over when he realised just how much everything costs, and has poor money management.

You will be doing your daughter a favour in the long term and £20 is FAR too low imho. Maybe sit down with her and ask her what she feels is a fair amount, I remember feeling really quite proud that I was helping my mum out at the time, as my dad had just walked out on her.