House-keeping from Daugher - how much, if any?

Fishy46

One of our Daughters has recently started full time employment which brings up the question of how much Housekeeping to ask for. Our problem is that our other Daughter is at Uni and we are helping out a fair bit financially. We are helping DD1 with car insurance too (£80.00 per month) and would ask her to pay £20 per month as she's not on a high wage. I'm in a bit of a quandry. I feel she should pay as it's right and proper for her and us, but is it a bit unfair if we are spending loads supporting DD2. Thoughts please?

ginvzt

It is your family, your decision. Only you can decide what is fair and what is not with regards to each of your daughters.

Gillyx

Why not ask her to pay her own car insurance? Then that way you're not really asking any of your daughters to contribute to the house? Although I would say being in education and employment are 2 totally different ball games and I'd hope at their age, they'd recognise that.

Alikay

Probably take the £20 p/w as planned, but make it clear DD2 will get help with her car insurance too when the time comes. I think uni expenses are different, and you'll be helping DD1 with her rent as her course necessitates living away from home. A car, and the costs involved are not required at uni, therefore it's an extra little indulgence IMO, and if one child get it, the others should too, regardless of whether they work or go to uni.

Badger_Lady

Did DD1 have the option of going to Uni and getting the associated support? Has she decided to go for employment instead? Employment means independence - if she doesn't want to move out yet, she should still treat her home as 'lodgings' and not expect support.

She can only cry 'unfair' if her sister is getting something she would not have been given in the same circumstances.

lazer

Fishy46 wrote: »

One of our Daughters has recently started full time employment which brings up the question of how much Housekeeping to ask for. Our problem is that our other Daughter is at Uni and we are helping out a fair bit financially. We are helping DD1 with car insurance too (£80.00 per month) and would ask her to pay £20 per month as she's not on a high wage. I'm in a bit of a quandry. I feel she should pay as it's right and proper for her and us, but is it a bit unfair if we are spending loads supporting DD2. Thoughts please?

Presumably DD2 has student load etc, so could theoretically support herself? (This could be the way DD1 would see it)

Instead of asking the £20 a month, I would say that you are now only paying £60 a month towards the car insurance, that way you are still helping her out too.

When i got my first job after uni, I actually found i had less money than i had at uni, as saturday work and holiday work combined with student loan amounted to more than my tiny trainee accountant wage.

JimmyTheWig

I agree with Badger_Lady.
You need to treat your daughters "with equal concern". That doesn't always mean treating them the same.
As long as the rules you put in place for a working child living at home are consistent (i.e. they apply to other daughter when she finishes uni) then you're fine.

POPPYOSCAR

It is a difficult subject. I get told all the time by our son that his friends do not have to pay housekeeping.

I found it difficult at first to take money from him but it is the right thing to do, as I feel he must learn to budget or will get into trouble when he eventually has his own place, for one thing.

My personal view is that it is different for those in full time education and they should be supported. As for how much to take from your daughter it would depend on how much she is earning.

We had an agreement that we took just a nominal amount while our son was on a low income so he could save for a car etc. but when his income went up significantly then so did his housekeeping.

There really is no right or wrong answer. It has to be what you feel comfortable with at the end of the day.

JimmyTheWig

POPPYOSCAR wrote: »

I found it difficult at first to take money from him but it is the right thing to do.

If you're in the position to not need the money, then take it from them and keep it to one side. Then use it to help towards a deposit when they're ready to move out.

Dinah93

When I finished uni I paid my parents £240 for rent and bills, they earned over £65k but were also in an IVA at the time, however it was a lot cheaper than living anywhere else and I never begrudged them this money. My brother started uni the year I left so I knew they needed to be supporting him like they'd done for 3 years with me as he couldn't afford his fees and living expenses off his loan, and with them paying over £1400 a month to the IVA they didn't have lots of spare money.

Talk to your daughter, ask her what she thinks is fair. Realistically it's about treating them equally at the same age and lifestage. I would have thought her paying her own car insurance is reasonable at the very least no matter what wage she's on? I paid my own when I was 17 as it was a luxury I benefited from, but then I've always been a bit independent.

Person_one

JimmyTheWig wrote: »

If you're in the position to not need the money, then take it from them and keep it to one side. Then use it to help towards a deposit when they're ready to move out.

Or, talk to them about savings accounts and help them choose one to put the money in themselves.

Learning to save is a valuable lesson, you don't learn if your parents do it for you!