Would anyone else leave a sleeping baby home alone - or am I overreacting?

red_devil

Important. I havent read all the replies but i do know someone who put a thread on a parenting site a few years ago and the admin contacted their local health visitor. Admin got the isp of the computer and from their the posters address etc. The health visitor actually went to see someone, who had posted about leaving a child. Its a serious issue so beware you can be contacted from what you put on an internet forum.

an9i77

peachyprice wrote: »

A car doesn't need to be travelling at speed to knock a child over though. There are so many scenarios where a child could come to harm being taken across a forecourt.

Do you think a child is more likely to be snatched from a locked car at a forecourt surrounded by witnesses and CCTV? Has this really every happened or is it another urban myth?

I don't think either is very likely! Sorry I thought you meant a child was at risk of coming to harm if in a car on a forecourt and then another car bumped into it - in which case the other car would have to be travelling at speed to do much damage (as child would be in car seat). If you meant the child is more at risk being taken across forecourt by parent, then yes I agree. But every aspect of life carries a degree of risk. Even sitting at home, a plane could explode over your house, a tree could fall through the window, a gas explosion next door could happen. All these things are possible - but not very likely.

Peater

gorgeous_gwen wrote: »

I just wouldn't. All manner of things go through my mind.

A story I read a few months ago (don't know if anyone has mentioned this?) really shook me up; a couple that put their older baby to bed, safe and sound one evening. When mum checked in the morning, the baby had at some point tried to climb out of the cot and slipped, getting trapped between the cot and an adjacent chest of drawers, and its head had got smushed up towards its chest and stopped breathing. She found the poor thing stuck there and was so sadly dead. And that was with the parents in the house.

Sad as it is, that story doesn't exactly help the cause of alot of people on here, especially the ones who 'would not hang the washing out without child in tow'.

Take heed of this story ladies and gentlemen, may you never sleep again otherwise BABY MIGHT DIE!!!!!!!!!!!!

claire16c

I hope the OP has reported her.

What shocks me, is that not only has this woman left her child alone, which is totally irresponsible and wrong, but she is openly talking about it to others.

If you had a inkling that what you were doing was wrong, and felt guilty or worried about it - surely youd keep it to yourself? the fact she is telling others and thinking nothing of it, makes me think she will just keep doing it, and probably for longer periods as the child gets older.

I could not live with myself either if I found out something bad had happened and I hadnt done anything.

Gingham_R

Peater wrote: »

Sad as it is, that story doesn't exactly help the cause of alot of people on here, especially the ones who 'would not hang the washing out without child in tow'.

I have to agree. Scare stories, tragic though they are, only reinforced the terror felt by many mums now, as we struggle to a large extent today without extended family supporting us.

It is NOT irresponsible to leave your baby playing in another room while you stir the pan, get the phone, answer the door briefly. It is NOT irresponsible to leave your baby while you go to the loo. And putting a child down in her cot and expecting her to still be there in the morning is not an unreasonable thing.

However, leaving the house with a baby/toddler still in there is reckless. We all know this and so does the mum the OP knows. I would report her. Her child is at risk.

samboette

No it isn't illegal to leave children of any age but they can be prosecuted should they be left in a way which could risk their health or wellbeing, not the exact words but comes from the Children's and Young Persons Act. (Will have a look after I've written this).

So whilst it's not illegal it is wholly irresponsible to leave a child at such a young age, I'm sure the NSPCC states Infants shouldn't be left alone but then common sense should tell you this too.

When I have children I wouldn't dream of leaving them alone, single mum or not surely your groceries are not more important than the welfare of your child?

Gingham_R

samboette wrote: »

When I have children I wouldn't dream of leaving them alone, single mum or not surely your groceries are not more important than the welfare of your child?

You're right about the act.

The groceries are pretty high on the list of priorities. The kid needs to eat. But it's about going alone - that's NOT a priority. The baby will have to learn to sleep in the pram or she'll have to shop at a different time.

It's hard taking a baby/toddler around a shop. They can try the patience of the even the best mum. They don't care if they need a scream - they'll just go right ahead and do it. And it gets harder when they can run! I went shopping with my friend on Monday and had already forgotten just how much work it is to take a toddler to do the most basic of shopping. He made a break for the door every chance he got and you simply cannot take your eye off them, which does not make shopping easy if you're on your own.

So I have genuine sympathy for her.

There was a storyline in eastenders, way back when it first began, where a single mother left her baby alone in the house. (I want to say Mary?!) It's not a new problem. It's tiring with 2 parents. With one? I don't envy her.

But as you say, her child's welfare comes first. The baby cannot be left alone in the house.

dizziblonde

lady1964 wrote: »

Where I was born & lived up until the age of 2, our street was about half an hours walk to the town. One of our neighbours went into town with her baby in the big carriage pram, parked the pram up outside the shop while she did her shopping. All the way home, she kept thinking she'd forgotten something. When she got home, she realised what she'd forgotten - her baby! She rushed back to town and the pram & baby were still outside the shop.

This was in the mid 60's & it was quite common apparently for babies in prams to be left outside local shops, prams were much bigger so couldn't get them inside I suppose!

My gran did this with me when I was a baby - mum popped home at lunchtime and asked where the bairn was, and I was still outside the shop in the pram where she'd left me none the wiser to the event! One of our neighbours used to leave the pram outside the front of the house with the door open when the baby was asleep very very recently - it's the sort of street where people look out for each other and she was in the room the door directly opened out onto - so no cue for moral outcry needed! (Used to wish to high heaven she wouldn't cos it was right after one of my miscarriages and upset me endlessly having to watch the pram out there - but hey ho)

I wouldn't be carrying a baby in a car seat across a garage forecourt though - although people travel at low speed, at least on our local Tesco one they tend to abandon their braincell in persuit of shaving one second off their "I'm a leet member of the Ferrari F1 pit crew honest guv" personal best refuelling time... and some of the idiot manouvers they pull are more dangerous than locking the car and keeping line of sight contact really (or just using the Pay at Pumps and dodging the issue completely). Had a couple of incidents just on my own of nearly being poleaxed by BMWs with tunnel vision as there's a pump ahead of another one zomg must go go go go!

isie1980

I was just talking about something similar to my sister the other day, about how when my son is fast asleep it is so tempting to pop out to the post box or something (ie under 5 minutes) but you just wouldn't because "what if...?"
When he's asleep in his cot he's usually down for a good 60-90 minutes but even though we live in a small 2 bed house I carry the monitor around with me - without it, in the kitchen I'm not convinced I'd hear him cry over the sound of the washing machine and me doing the dishes etc.
When he was newborn and I was hanging out washing I was in and out the house like a crazy woman because he kept crying when he lost his dummy. I *knew* he was ok, but didn't want the neighbours to hear him and think I was neglectful as much as I needed to pop his dummy back in. I think this is a normal mothers reaction - you keep your baby safe, but you are also concerned what others think. If I was doing something slightly dubious in my care for my son, I wouldn't tell anyone about it. Like previous posters have said, this woman must not even realise the risks of leaving her baby or she wouldn't talk openly about it. I think it is totally irresponsible but maybe she needs help and support and a quiet word would be the best thing for the OP to do in the 1st instance, followed up by reporting it if it continues.
It's not too hard to take a baby shopping. The trolleys have room for a car seat, or if walking the buggies have a small basket and a couple of carriers can hang on the handles. If a toddler is heading for the doors in a shop, why don't people use reins any more? I fully intend to get some when my son gets mobile. I've heard someone say it's an infringement of their civil liberties or some such rubbish. I'd rather infringe his liberties than have him run into the road, thanks.

Jojo_the_Tightfisted

peachyprice wrote: »

A car doesn't need to be travelling at speed to knock a child over though. There are so many scenarios where a child could come to harm being taken across a forecourt.

Do you think a child is more likely to be snatched from a locked car at a forecourt surrounded by witnesses and CCTV? Has this really every happened or is it another urban myth?

Here you go - I've stuck to the UK & Ireland and not gone past page one of Google searches.

http://www.psni.police.uk/car_stolen_with_children_on_board_warrenpoint_151110

http://www.guardian.co.uk/lifeandstyle/2011/oct/28/experience-car-stolen-baby

http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-england-tees-16154840


http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-205348/Car-stolen-baby-strapped-inside.html

http://www.leinsterleader.ie/lifestyle/your-life/panic_as_car_stolen_with_child_inside_1_3333400

Plus the footballer Ian Wright's ex-wife, when his children were tiny, had her black Porsche nicked from Tesco's Purley with one of the kids on the back seat.