Wedding gift of family tree

cte1111

I think it's a nice idea for a present for your brother.

I'm trying to imagine what I would think if my sister-in-law gave me their family tree for a wedding gift. On balance, I think I would be happy with it, e.g. I joined their family when I married my husband, as did my daughter (my husband is not her birth dad). So I would go for it and list your brother's step-children in a line leading off from their Mum only, not mention the ex.

Caroline73_2

adamantine wrote: »

i personally think this is a lovely idea and a wonderful way to welcome her to the family by putting her name on the family tree.

i wouldnt include step kids though. especially step kids from a marriange that no longer exists (if i understand this correctly - im tired this morning its the first day back to school for the kids up here today lol)

Put her on but not her kids? Hardly a nice welcome to the family!

peachyprice

I would just put her children off her name leaving off their father, although it will make is look a bit untidy, even more so if/when they have children of their own but there's nothing you can do about that.

I have to agree with the others, to me it's a bit of a naff wedding present, but if you think your bother and his wife will like it and display it go for it.

tea_lover

I think it's a lovely idea! I'm really surprised by all the negative comments.

Yes it shows his family, but it also shows her and her children. What better way to show that she's now welcomed into your family? I think it's a great wedding present idea and if I received something like that when I got married I'd have loved it.

FWIW, I'd just put her children from her, and no mention of the exH at all.

rachbc

I'm with the 'ugh no' camp on this. I barely find family trees of other people's fmaily interesting but the thought of having to put on up on my wall because my bil would expect to see it whne he came to visit ...

However if you must then as another poster has said put her fmaily on it as well or its not really a present to them is it - its for him.

katerinasol

The OP didn't actually ask whether any of you think this is a good idea or not, just how to go about putting the kids on it. I think it's a great idea too and she doesn't necessarily have to be pretending to be enthusiastic. My OH's family are really into their family ancestry and I find it all fascinating, they've shown me how they've gone about finding out all the facts and all that stuff. When I came into his family, I wanted to find out about his family. What's so weird about that?

Anyway, I would say that the suggestion to include the kids (do they get on with your brother?) but not your SIL's ex sounds like the most sensible one.

Gazing_On_Sunsets

Rather than frame it, can you incorporate it into a more traditional wedding present? I'm thinking a really large and posh photo album, and you could have the tree at the front or back. That way, they can make sense of the photos as it builds up. And leave plenty of space at the bottom of the tree for additions, that way you make it into a joint family heirloom that they pass down. Indeed, leave another page for her family tree and offer to share your skills in helping her research her side if she's interested. That way it becomes a proper joint present.

Kittendreich

I'd definately put her children on (just coming from her - no need to include their dad) - otherwise it looks like they are not welcome in the family.

It is difficult to say whether they will like the gift - how about doing it as a fancy scroll - that way they can choose to get it framed if they would like to hang it (even add a note in a card that you will do this for them if they would like it), but if they don't want to hang it up won't feel like they risk offending you.

pug_in_a_bed

Hello again folks, lots of suggestions there thanks.

Just to clarify I have been researching sil's tree for about a year, with her help - i promise you that they are both really into it, honest! She even came all the way to Kew with me to look up records, in a memorable 6 hour car journey :rotfl:

No one is going to be excluded, I was just puzzling about how to link the step kids (both grown up). What I think I will do is just link the two step kids under mum to their little brother, my brothers son.

meritaten

The traditional way is I think to put a line under SILs name and put her children directly under HER name - then put a longer line between her and Bro's name and put THIER children under that. That way the step kids are included and the father need not be mentioned.