Gift list or money?

glitzz

we are in the same situation we have been together over 5years and live togther and our home is furnished we have just enclosed a poem with the invites to ask for money towards our honey moon if people wanted to contribue

Angel_of_Tomfoolery

I don't think we're going to mention a gift list or anything in our invites. People are going to a lot of hassle to attend our wedding so we genuinely don't expect anything else from them.

I'm probably way off the mark but if I got an invite with no reference to gift list and I wanted to give the couple something, I would give them money so they could put it towards what they wanted. Under no circumstances would I ever buy them a toaster!

I do like to option of adopting an animal/charitable donation though. I don't think it's rude at all if there's something in particular that you support and want to give people that option.

74jax

Angel_of_Tomfoolery wrote: »

I don't think we're going to mention a gift list or anything in our invites. People are going to a lot of hassle to attend our wedding so we genuinely don't expect anything else from them.

i can't say I've ever received a gift list in an invitation. I think that's a little presumptuous.

I feel the same as you, people go to a lot of effort to attend a wedding, if they want to buy a gift and they ask, then fair enough, but to me enclosing the list with the invite is not something I have heard of.

Torry_Quine

74jax wrote: »

i can't say I've ever received a gift list in an invitation. I think that's a little presumptuous.

I feel the same as you, people go to a lot of effort to attend a wedding, if they want to buy a gift and they ask, then fair enough, but to me enclosing the list with the invite is not something I have heard of.

I have had a note with the invite saying we have our gift list at ........, or give money towards honeymoon which I agree is very presumptuous. Needless to say I took no notice!

Em88

We didn't put anything in our invitations but have had lots of people asking. Our guests are also having to travel etc to come to the wedding so didn't want to be presumptuous about gifts. We have decided to do a list of things we would like to do while on honeymoon and ask for contributions towards those experiences or adopt an animal on our behalf

minerva_windsong

Both my sisters had small gift lists for family members who wanted to buy them a physical present, mainly older relatives, but they asked anyone who wanted to get them something for donations to charities that meant something to them - for example one asked for donations to British Heart Foundation as our grandad died from a short cardiac illness. They didn't send anything out with the invites but instead waited for people to get in touch with them or with our parents to ask what they'd like. Some people got them vouchers and a few others bought off-list presents. I think I'll probably do something similar when I get married.

I have to admit that I would rather give vouchers for something than just cash as a wedding present, because my worry with cash is that it might get siphoned off into day-to-day stuff, whereas vouchers can be contributed to a specific thing. The exception would be something like a honeymoon list where you buy part of the holiday, like a nice meal out or a day trip. I don't mean that to sound like I'm dictating how people spend their money, but I'd just rather feel like I was getting people something, albeit indirectly, rather than just giving them money.

sugarwalsh

I think it makes sense to mention gift lists when you send your invite out. It then means no one has to ask you if you have one etc, it is efficient, if nothing else. You don't send the whole list out, just a link or small card with where and the details! I think it is perfectly normal practice to mention gift lists in a letter with the invite.

We included details in ours - we have lived together for 7 years and we don't want to update anything. All we want is for people to come and enjoy themseles. However I know some people will wnat to give us something so we put something along the lines of 'As we have been living in sin for a number of years now we no longer require items for the house. We are saving towards a family honeymoon, and if you would like to donate towards this we would be very grateful. However, you being with us and enjoying the day is the most important thing, so please do not feel obliged to give us anything.' Or something along those lines. We only really have family and close friends so they all know us very well and we have made it clear we want people to come and relax and enjoy the weekend, not stress about money.

My sister had an Oxfam gift list for those who didn't want to give money, which is another idea!

Megan

Em88

We made unusual invitations that were actually very limited in the information on them so there wasn't really room to put about gifts on it and we hadn't decided what we were doing yet. I do agree that it is normal for people to refer to gift lists in their invitations now.

These are our invitations:
http://www.facebook.com/photo.php?fbid=10151126471025468&set=a.10151126462445468.788612.791860467&type=3&theater

puffinmuffin

We didn't put anything in the invitations which are very basic and point guests to our website. I didn't want to ask for anything but OH disagreed and people started asking even before we sent out invites.. We are going travelling for 6 months after we marry so have done a list of things we plan to do. we intend to send postcards to the gift givers representing the activity they chose.

emz118

I have just sent out invites, and have already had people ask about gift lists, even before they were sent!!!

Instead of sending a list with the invites, I put our wedding website address at the bottom and on the gift list webpage have written:

We have decided that as we have been living together for the past 3 years anyway, that there is very little we want for our home.

What we really want is for as many of our family and friends to join us for our special day!

However, if you feel you would like to give us a gift, we would very much appreciate donations towards our honeymoon fund.

We haven't decided where we're going yet, but it will be somewhere hot, hopefully in the Summer Holidays.

See you at the wedding!!!

This fits in with the relaxed and honest style of our website, a fancy poem would have looked very strange.