The £40k family

Sofa_Sogood

ceebee wrote:

In terms of compulsorily limiting the number of children, should that number be ONE, as was in China? If not, how many?

No, but in China don't they pick a particular gender - predominantly male children?

ceebee? Do you (or anyone else) think they might be receiving more than other people in the same position?

I'm only asking because apart from the report in the OP's reference, has anyone else heard of this family? Since or before?

I'm thinking now that if it was such a big deal, it would have been reported more than once?

Or maybe it has?

Ellie2758

Yes, I think the fact that
a. we havent heard anymore about them and
b. it was printed in the Daily Mail
speaks volumes. Dont you ever read between the lines in the DM? They never quote their sources and their main aim in life seems to be to wind people up whether it be about the latest health "scare", what the govt intends to do to the middle classes, scare stories in general and stuff about people on benefits.
Sorry, but the DM makes my blood boil. MY inlaws read it and they believe every word.
As for the kids who get payments for their disabilities - it isnt a piece of cake getting this kind of benefit believe me. You dont get it unless your kids have real probs. I speak as one who knows. The forms are enormous and designed to catch you out. And they have to be completed again every couple of years. And you have to have professionals (i.e. doctors) who can corroborate your evidence. Of course, many people get these benefits for their kids who have ADHD, another topic that the DM like to harp on about in their misguided fashion. grrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr :mad:

Ellie

jellyhead

hmmm ... ADHD ... i don't read the daily mail often, only if i've run out of books at MIL's house. what's their take on ADHD - that's it's caused by bad parenting and inadequate diet? there are lots of children with or without ADHD who could benefit from a different style of parenting, some early nights, some fish oil, iron, less sugar etc. but these changes don't change the underlying ADHD. i read chris greene's book about ADHD when my son was going to be diagnosed with ADHD, it was fantastic. my son doesn't have ADHD though so i'm speaking as a parent of child who doesn't have it, not one who just wants to keep her kids drugged and robotic. i think people with ADHD have a difference in their brain chemistry, newspapers just seem to swoop on a family where kids were wrongly diagnosed or are mildly affected, where lifestyle and diet changes coupled with parenting classes can lead to a situation where drugs are no longer needed then they try to extrapolate that to the entire population, claiming that nobody needs ritalin.

this 40k family aren't claiming anything they're not entitled to, you're right. personally i don't think you should have children if you know you're going to be on welfare because nobody will be working but they're not doing anything wrong as such and aren't claiming more than they should. i do find it a bit odd that having three children with learning difficulties so severe they get financial help (and yes i realise it's difficult to get) that they can manage to keep having more children and i do think that if they had fewer children they could concentrate on improving the lives of their children who need this extra money, but that's just me. i'm critical of their decision to go on to have more and more children, i'm not disputing that their welfare claims are legitimate.

Ellie2758

The DM's take on ADHD, dont get me started. Basically it is that parents put their kids on ritalin and similar drugs in order to get a life of peace and quiet. Most likely, the mother of the family will either be a working mum (shock,horror - another DM baddie) or a single mum (what a crime - never mind what the circumstances are eh? The DM has neverd bothered to let facts get in the way of a good story) It will never cover a story like mine where my son at the age of 7 had no friends because he had alienated his classmates with his completely OTT behaviour. He was on level 2 of the special needs register. I was a wreck, having an older child with Asperger syndrome (these conditions, along with dyspraxia and dyslexia are all connnected). Ritalin saved my sanity and it made my son's life bearable for all of us, including him. He is now aged 13 and attends our local Grammar school. He has regained much of the confidence he lost through suffering rejection from his peers in his early school years. He is a Scout, goes to karate (which he loves), he has FRIENDS - none of this would have been possible without ritalin. If he forgets a tablet we all know about it, he cannot stop talking/making noise and in the end it starts to annoy him as well as the rest of us. It must be like a kind of verbal tinnitus in your head, having all those thought buzzing around. But the day the DM prints a postive story about ADHD and the success of ritalin I will eat my hat.

jellyhead

i'm still a member of the ADHD email list i joined when spud was being assessed for it, many of the kids or siblings have dyspraxia (spud has it and i think i do too). spud seems a bit aspergic but not a great deal, does that make sense? the main thing you hear when you talk to a mum of a child who truly does have ADHD is that without it their child doesn't have any friends. spud calmed down a lot when i sorted out his diet, he seems to be lactose intolerant. of course it's easter now so he's getting chocolate heaped upon him, he can't sleep, he talks nonsense all the time, argues and cries a lot and walked around town miaowing today, i got my hair cut and he was really distracting but the hairdresser said it's fine, her grandson has ADHD too ... ho hum ... i think that there are mild cases of ADHD that might not need medication, but there are also lots of kids whose lives are a misery without medication. there are of course the kids who are put on ritalin but they don't actually have ADHD, those are the ones the papers pick up on. i read an article once with 2 sets of parents, one chose ritalin, the other set chose parenting classes, diet and lifestyle changes etc. - both kids calmed down but it seemed to me that the kid who didn't have the ritalin had ADHD quite mildly and didn't have any siblings to wind him up either.

ah well, i've gone off topic, but no i don't like the DM style of reporting. as for single mums i never understood the criticism, if the men hadn't left they wouldn't be single so why not criticise the men instead lol!