I am devastated and not sure what to do next

MissPoppy_3

Hi

I can't sleep so I thought it might help if I wrote down what is bothering me.

Today I found my lovely sweet cat completely flattened on the main road which is around 5-10min walk from my house. She had been missing since Wednesday and I took Thursday off work to stay home to wait for her to come home. As you can see this didn't happen and in trying to find her I was told about a cat which was in the road and had been since Wednesday morning.

Me and my partner are completely grief stricken and the house seems so empty with out her and I miss her so much, I can't stop crying.
She had access to loads of gardens and a wilderness area without having to go anywhere near the road, so I can't understand why she went on the road when she is scared of cars. I guess I will never have the answer to that question but my partner wants to get another cat and I do too eventually when I have gotten over this but now I am so scared of it happening again I do not know what to do.

I have never liked the idea of cats being kept indoors but now I must admit I am coming round to the idea, however on the other hand it is lovely to watch a happy cat running round or just lazing in the garden in summer, so I really do not know what to do.

What are everyones thoughts on indoor vs outdoor cats?

Jojo_the_Tightfisted

Some prefer being indoors, some will never like it. You have to decide whether you would be able to restrict an animal that definitely wanted to go out. And don't forget, you can catproof a garden somewhat to try and keep them in.



but I am so sorry for your loss and agree that her only thought as it happened was probably getting that robin or something.

atrixblue.-MFR-.

my heart goes out to you..

there are some breed of cats that are purely indoor cats, like the ragdoll, you have to keep those cats in for their own safety because of their temperment to wounder off with anything because everything and anything is its friend, i have one and it doesnt even budge towards an open door prefures to be inside.
then there norweigen forest cat that love the outdoors.

choosing a breed of cat is paramount to you. some domestic cats if brought home as a small ball of fluff will be used to staying indoors, older cats that has had a taste of freedom will be harder to train to keep indoors. neutering a cat especially males asap is best for them so they dont wounder afield in search of a queen, get harmed from fighting in another males territory or protecting its territory and help keeps britains growing problem of ferral cats down.

research cats, sit down, look at all breeds research thier tempermant and needs.

Froglet

So sorry to hear of your tragic loss.

But there is an easy way round your dilemma.In every rescue centre there wil be cats who will specifically not be able to go out.They could be partially blind,deaf,or have mobility problems.Or you get the cats with incurable,but liveable with,diseases that must not be passed on to other cats.Not every centre will believe in keeping the last category alive,but some do.Also there may be elderly cats who are more than happy to just curl up on your lap and not want to go out.

Bearing in mind these are always the most difficult to rehome,you could bring a lot of joy into one or two animals lives .It would hopefully make your loss just that much easier to bear,but give yourself time to grieve first as you cannot ever replace an animal,just give that love to others.That will be the legacy your cat leaves,that you want to try again.When my first dog died i thought i woud never love another but of course i did.

Croatoan

Evolution is a long slow process and cars are faster and arguably more dangerous than any predator a wild cat has ever faced. Cats have not evolved to deal with a danger that has been around for, in evolutionary terms, the blink of an eye. In the end of course it's the owner's choice as to indoor or outdoor, but if there were thousands of 70mph two ton cat eating monsters running about my neighborhood then I'd have to be mad to let my cat out on its own.
People go on about what is "natural" for a cat and how it needs to go out and how cruel it is to keep it inside - and at the same time neuter their cats which takes away it's entire reason for existing. What can be more unnatural than that? (I also neuter my cats by the way, this is not a call to keep cats entire.) Cats like all animals "need" food, rest and sex and, if wild, they'd go out and hunt for prey and a mate. As most of us take away their need for sex and provide food and a safe place to rest, they have no "need" to go out.
I've had indoor and outdoor cats, two of which also got splattered. I'll never have an outdoor cat again.

Froglet

And another benefit of keeping cats indoors is that you are not only potentially saving the life of your cat but many small mammals and birds that are so cruelly caught,played with and killed or left to die.

paddypaws101

Firstly, sorry about your cat, that is heart breaking.
I wont enter the debate about indoor/outdoor as it is a very emotive subject, but would suggest that you look into cat proofing your garden to provide a compromise.
I have a smallish garden and managed to do it for around £450 which I feel is well worth the peace of mind. A good proportion of that was of course the labour, but if your hubby is at all practically minded it can be very easily done for much less.
I do hope you go on to get another cat, there are so many needing loving homes and bring so much joy.

david39

I'm sorry to hear of your distressing news.

Unfortunately, cats cannot be controlled in the same way as many other domesticated pets and it is part of their nature to roam around their territory. The dangers they face in so doing are part of the trade-off that their owners make for having a devoted and loving pet.

My personal advice would be to follow the path that your husband is suggesting - get another cat straight away.

We lost a dog (to old age) a few years ago, so I understand, in part, the emotions that you are going through. Within a few days, we got a new puppy which helped us through the difficult days. The new pet will never replace the old one because it will have a different personality, but it will concentrate your minds on constructive thoughts rather than negative ones.

The animal sanctuary idea expressed above, although not followed by us, sounds excellent.

winterwhite11

hi, i,m so sorry ,everyone on here really feels for you.
my cat escaped as i was cat proofing our new garden and got ran over and it made me seriosly ill again.
.i don,t think cats should be left out because most get killed at a young age before they are six..we have cat proofed our garden by puting up fence panels ,then on top put some rolled up chicken wire which also hangs over edge a bit ..cats try to jump up a few times but soon give up as they hate the woobly wire..
this has kept my cats safe in my back garden these last 10 years...i would say if you have a boy cat get him neutered or he will prob go through hell and highwater to get to a girl on heat nearby.....

..vet told me nearly all cats run over are killed instantly so no pain.

i,m completly different to david39 in that when i lose a pet i cannot get another one for about 8 or 10 years.. i know quite a lot of people though who do get another pet as soon as their other one dies and i can imagine that having something else to cuddle would really help with the grief from your lost pet..

TallGirl

So sorry to hear about your cat horrible thing to come across realyl feel for you. When our 13 year old cat died of failing kidneys (pts) we knew we wanted another cat almost immidiately and stated looking at breads. Our old one was a tabby moggy with some maine coon in him so thats what we went for. Best thing we ever did got 2 boys who arrived 3 weeks after old one died.

As for the indoor outdoor debate our old one was outdoor and we knew we wanted that for the new ones too. We did not let them out until they were well past 6 months. Apart for one of them getting stuck in a garage for 2 weeks its been fine but you never know and that is the risk you take.

I think the suggestion of getting one that has to be kept indoors might be an idea to look into I just know it would not work for us. Good luck what ever you decide and once again really sorry about your cat.

Fridaycat

There are a number of options you could consider - getting an indoor-only cat from a rescue centre is a great idea.

Otherwise, there is the option to cat-proof your fencing. If this is not feasible, you could get an outdoor cat run.

I have 5 cats - but live very rurally and not near any main roads. The 3 moggies are let out as they wish during the day, (though Friday now being 13 prefers to stay in most of the time, particularly in the colder months). My two Bengals have much more restricted access outside - only when we are here and we keep an eye on them to make sure they stay within the confines of our garden or very close to it. We are considering getting a cat run as it is not possible to cat proof our garden boundaries (too many of them and other ways to get over fences such as pergolas etc).

All of my cats are kept in at night as this is the most dangerous time for them in terms of accidents or fights with foxes/other cats.