My ex is demanding to see my payslips?

pd001

seven-day-weekend wrote: »

Because she has no right to know it and the OP does not wish her to know. I totaslly understand that. He is more than willing to let an offiicial body have the information.

Totally agree...she has no right at all to know this sort of information.
She also has no right to know anything about his private life whatsoever.
Of course this works both ways

IsItJustMe_2

i'd call her bluff.. tell her you are going to the CSA, stop making any payments to her and keep it for when the CSA finally get round to make an assessment and finally get round to put it place...

if she wants to make your life difficult... then make make hers just as difficult. you have a right to a life after her and she plays no part in that apart from anything to do with your child....

if you have nothing to hide, you have nothing to lose!!

pd001

IsItJustMe wrote: »

i'd call her bluff.. tell her you are going to the CSA, stop making any payments to her and keep it for when the CSA finally get round to make an assessment and finally get round to put it place...

if she wants to make your life difficult... then make make hers just as difficult. you have a right to a life after her and she plays no part in that apart from anything to do with your child....

if you have nothing to hide, you have nothing to lose!!

All good, valid points, and well made

sarahjayne1977

IsItJustMe wrote: »

i'd call her bluff.. tell her you are going to the CSA, stop making any payments to her and keep it for when the CSA finally get round to make an assessment and finally get round to put it place...

if she wants to make your life difficult... then make make hers just as difficult. you have a right to a life after her and she plays no part in that apart from anything to do with your child....

if you have nothing to hide, you have nothing to lose!!

I totally agree, I would do it she may well get a shock and end up with less and will sit there and think about what she says next time!

surreybased

"However, from the perspective of someone who feels her ex has something to hide, logically, if he's unwilling to show what he's earning, then he must be up to something..."


Absolutely not..I would hate for an ex to be able to view my payslips, it would feel completely intrusive. The ex is not a partner and has no right to that information.

Use the CSA, open your own case if necessary, my DH did something similar as his ex was controlling (& asking to see a payslip is controlling!!)
She was in for a shock as he was more generous that the calculator required.
Interestingly she never said sorry....or thank-you.

mcjordi

i hope you have a paper trail or evidence youve been paying this money to your ex.. as she could easily turn round and say youve not been paying..

id just use the csa.

pd001

mcjordi wrote: »

i hope you have a paper trail or evidence youve been paying this money to your ex.. as she could easily turn round and say youve not been paying..

id just use the csa.

Totally agree!!!
But the assessment wouldnt start until the case with the csa was opened?

Paper trail everything....

golddustmedia

clearingout wrote: »

She knows you lost a job and you are saying you're being paid less than you were. Lifestyle + less salary = how on earth does that add up?!!!

Because my new partner and I are money saving experts! We live a frugal live, save whenever we can and don't fritter money away unnecessarily. Hence we've been able to afford a better quality of life together.

clearingout wrote: »

logically, if he's unwilling to show what he's earning, then he must be up to something...

As per my original post, my new job is of a confidential nature and I don't want my employment and salary to be the discussion at the pub with her friends. It's not about hiding anything, in fact I'm squeeky clean as I have to be for my work, it's just I take privacy and discretion seriously.

JimmyTheWig wrote: »

OP, do you know why your ex doesn't want the CSA involved?

Her partner is self employed and his parental address is just around the corner from their new home. I suspect she may be falsely claiming she is single in order to up her working tax credits. I can't prove that but we recently met to discuss these issues and I suggested we go to an intermediary, such as the citizens advice bureau, who could independently confirm she's getting the right amount without disclosing my personal details. I also suggested that we BOTH disclose financial information to them so she can check she's correctly getting the right entitlement to any assistance such as tax credits. She reacted like a deer in headlights and pushed the whole idea under the carpet.