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Some insightful advice needed here please!
Shanelle
Posts: 169 Forumite
Hi
I'm posting this on behalf of someone else... with their permission of course, really need some advice about her colleague
I'll do my best to summarise; Basically my friend is unsure about how her colleague feels about her after telling me the whole story i cant comprehend it either :mad:
My friend's' incredibly shy to the point where she can seem distant, a little odd even to people who dont know her. She's polite but restrained, wont volunteer any info about herself; to those she doesnt know and do the basic small talk way instead!
A new colleague has joined the company she works out and from what I've gathered he seems intrigued by her. He'll offer to run errands for her, be really nice and polite to her even when she's sort of giving him the cold shoulder in a polite way. He remembers everything she's ever said, and seems keen to know about her private life (he'll ask other colleagues).
At first she was being sort of teased by other girls where she works as he's supposed to be the good looking type, which was made worse by the fact
On a work night thing he ended up announcing as a love song came on the radio that he was dedicating it to her, and she was absolutely mortified! He's also privately told her she's pretty, looks nice etc She told him in a really nice way from what I gather that she'd rather be left alone etc
Suddenly he's completely changed; making sort of nasty remarks, nothing major but little hurtful things really. She's really conscious and refused to be in a photo her friends were taking and he sighed melodramatically ranting about how he doesn't understand some people, saying she must have had an odd upbringing etc. She's really sensitive and I can tell she's hurt by this. He suddenly starts bragging about his girlfriend showing pics of her round the office; and saying she's a lawyer so really rich etc, but still hinting at the fact he doesn't think his gf is good looking etc. He obviously found out that my friend took a law course but circumstances meant she had to leave it; although it was her dream profession, so again he'd sort of making impactful blows.
The next week again he'll be completely changed; being nice again; but then accusing her of mocking him when she laughs etc.
Now here's where the problem lies; she thinks despite how he;s treating her that she might like him, but the way he treats her sometimes makes her think he's being overly polite (but that seems to be his way). She knows she'll never act on her feelings but is wondering if it seems like he likes her?
I'm unsure from what I can tell he seems to be a shady character and I've gave her my opinion; but she'll always sort of look back.
I'm posting this on behalf of someone else... with their permission of course, really need some advice about her colleague
I'll do my best to summarise; Basically my friend is unsure about how her colleague feels about her after telling me the whole story i cant comprehend it either :mad:
My friend's' incredibly shy to the point where she can seem distant, a little odd even to people who dont know her. She's polite but restrained, wont volunteer any info about herself; to those she doesnt know and do the basic small talk way instead!
A new colleague has joined the company she works out and from what I've gathered he seems intrigued by her. He'll offer to run errands for her, be really nice and polite to her even when she's sort of giving him the cold shoulder in a polite way. He remembers everything she's ever said, and seems keen to know about her private life (he'll ask other colleagues).
At first she was being sort of teased by other girls where she works as he's supposed to be the good looking type, which was made worse by the fact
On a work night thing he ended up announcing as a love song came on the radio that he was dedicating it to her, and she was absolutely mortified! He's also privately told her she's pretty, looks nice etc She told him in a really nice way from what I gather that she'd rather be left alone etc
Suddenly he's completely changed; making sort of nasty remarks, nothing major but little hurtful things really. She's really conscious and refused to be in a photo her friends were taking and he sighed melodramatically ranting about how he doesn't understand some people, saying she must have had an odd upbringing etc. She's really sensitive and I can tell she's hurt by this. He suddenly starts bragging about his girlfriend showing pics of her round the office; and saying she's a lawyer so really rich etc, but still hinting at the fact he doesn't think his gf is good looking etc. He obviously found out that my friend took a law course but circumstances meant she had to leave it; although it was her dream profession, so again he'd sort of making impactful blows.
The next week again he'll be completely changed; being nice again; but then accusing her of mocking him when she laughs etc.
Now here's where the problem lies; she thinks despite how he;s treating her that she might like him, but the way he treats her sometimes makes her think he's being overly polite (but that seems to be his way). She knows she'll never act on her feelings but is wondering if it seems like he likes her?
I'm unsure from what I can tell he seems to be a shady character and I've gave her my opinion; but she'll always sort of look back.
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Comments
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Classic male schoolground behaviour.
He very obviously fancies her.........erm what's the question?Freedom is not worth having if it does not include the freedom to make mistakes.0 -
I think you're right, he sounds immature and petty. Why would she be interested in someone who's mean to her? Whole thing sounds very weird, glad I don't work there!0
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Lotus-eater wrote: »Classic male schoolground behaviour.
He very obviously fancies her.........erm what's the question?
Sorry, Guess we've been over it so many times both our judgements are overly clouded. He's quite a flirty type of person so she tells me; and he behaves in odd irrational ways. He's also obviously strung in by the blonde pretty type girls; and my friend has no self esteem so doesn't consider herself one of those! I've told her overly that she's pretty but she isnt convinced and its at the point; where she'll not believe anyone.
It's easy for someone to immediately scan this and get that sort of vibe; but he's in a relationship already so my friends immediately suggested that he's intrigued by her and is being polite as its obvious she's shy. When she's given him the cold shoulder he's probably reacted quite badly hence the nasty remarks, but I'm still unsure what I think!!!!!!! :mad:0 -
Quite simple.
He likes her and was the gent
she blew him out
now he's being a shit but still does the nice thing again so she remembers he's not always horrible.
she's decided she likes him
Your mate is a typical girl who loves a bastard and he's playing it perfectly. Give it a couple of weeks and he'll be wearing her like a bowling ball.0 -
Person_one wrote: »I think you're right, he sounds immature and petty. Why would she be interested in someone who's mean to her? Whole thing sounds very weird, glad I don't work there!
Glad I dont either, tbh! All the other colleagues seem to be all ordinary types, so this has obviously given their workplace a bit of a stir. He can be a whole lot meaner to some of the others so I've heard, but then again can be reasonable at times. He's off limits as he's in a relationship which he acknowledges and sometimes my friend thinks she can tell he's mad about his current gf, but who knows?0 -
scheming_gypsy wrote: »Quite simple.
He likes her and was the gent
she blew him out
now he's being a shit but still does the nice thing again so she remembers he's not always horrible.
she's decided she likes him
Your mate is a typical girl who loves a bastard and he's playing it perfectly. Give it a couple of weeks and he'll be wearing her like a bowling ball.
You got the last bit wrong! My friend has principles and despite what she feels, she's certain she won't go there.
Any suggestions to what she could try now?0 -
Now here's where the problem lies; she thinks despite how he;s treating her that she might like him, but the way he treats her sometimes makes her think he's being overly polite (but that seems to be his way). She knows she'll never act on her feelings but is wondering if it seems like he likes her?
I'm unsure from what I can tell he seems to be a shady character and I've gave her my opinion; but she'll always sort of look back.
Look back on what? Good god after wading through your post and reading about this odd ball, I am some what flabbergasted by the first paragraph above. I'd be telling your friend to steer well clear. At best he sounds like a headcase and mindgame player, at worst I think the bloke has phsycological problems.
Your friend doesn't seem to make life easy for herself. I am all for having a private life but she seems to take things to the extreme and not make it easy for people to get to know her. Why does she want to make her life anymore complicated by getting involved with someone who treats her badly?0 -
scheming_gypsy wrote: »Quite simple.
He likes her and was the gent
she blew him out
now he's being a shit but still does the nice thing again so she remembers he's not always horrible.
she's decided she likes him
Your mate is a typical girl who loves a bastard and he's playing it perfectly. Give it a couple of weeks and he'll be wearing her like a bowling ball.
Where on earth does this 'women like bas*ards thing come from? Its just not true.0 -
She should be polite but not particularly friendly. This is a work-colleague so if it was utterly plain that he fancied her and she him he would still be off-limits.0
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BitterAndTwisted wrote: »She should be polite but not particularly friendly. This is a work-colleague so if it was utterly plain that he fancied her and she him he would still be off-limits.
Right, because nobody ever gets together with work colleagues. :rotfl:0
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