I'm organising a hen party - please help!!

moneypuddle

Hello all

Well, I have been roped into helping my best friend plan her hen do. She is my very best friend so I do want to be involved but I don’t always cope well under pressure and its stressing me out a bit already! I’ve got a lot of stuff going on at the minute in my own life (which I’m not sharing with her because I don’t want to stress her out!) which makes it even more awkward but her other bridesmaids are 17 (too young), live in London (miles away, as we’re in the north) or in another country so I don’t feel like I’ll be able to ask for help from anyone else.

The bride is not a massive party animal, so although we’ll go to a club we won’t spend the whole weekend getting trashed, cos that’s not really her style. No strippers etc. She wants to be involved with most of the planning but I would like to still throw a couple of surprises in for her to make it more special for her.

The bare bones plan at the minute is as follows (April 2012):

Friday – night in at her house. Cooking etc, girly films, few bottle of wine, and stay over. This would be approx 8 people
Saturday – travel through to Leeds. Go to some sort of cupcake or chocolate making class (approx 2 hours). Approx 8 people again
Saturday evening – meal and drinks in Leeds. Need to organise a good restaurant. This could be for around 20 people (extra people invited from work etc)
Saturday night – we want to stay in a serviced apartment in Leeds rather than hotel rooms. Again just for the 8 people
Sunday – everyone travel back home.

(Just recently I’ve been to a Bistro Live venue in Nottingham which was great – dancing on the tables etc – so ideally I’d like something like that for her. Not too off-the-wall but quite fun and not just run of the mill.

Most guests will be in their twenties, bride will be 27. Her sister will be there (17) and her mum, and maybe an aunt etc but not too many older than that.

I’ve never actually been to a hen do and here I am trying to arrange one for someone else! Feeling very stressed and wondering what I’ve let myself in for!

Just wondered if anyone had any good/bad experiences of hen parties etc that you could share. What made them good/bad etc? Any useful tips for organizing a good weekend? Please help a novice out J

LEJC

I think the key to all the plans is dont feel that you have to fill every min of each day with an activity and be mindful of the total cost to everyone...

So many times you hear that there are x many wanting to go on a hen weekend but when it actually comes to handing over the cash then sadly a few may suddenly drop out...

Serviced apparments are a great alternative to a hotel...and they can be cheaper although dont discount somewhere like a holiday inn express or similar as lots of them offer great rates if booked early and free breakfast..

A good way to get firm numbers would be to start a savings plan for all the girls going on the weekend where they all pay a bit monthly towards the cost...and that way you can get a very good idea of those that will genuinely be partaking in the whole weekend...

Good luck with your planning...hope you have a great weekend!

ladymarmalade

moneypuddle wrote: »

Hello all

Well, I have been roped into helping my best friend plan her hen do. She is my very best friend so I do want to be involved but I don’t always cope well under pressure and its stressing me out a bit already! I’ve got a lot of stuff going on at the minute in my own life (which I’m not sharing with her because I don’t want to stress her out!) which makes it even more awkward but her other bridesmaids are 17 (too young), live in London (miles away, as we’re in the north) or in another country so I don’t feel like I’ll be able to ask for help from anyone else.

The bride is not a massive party animal, so although we’ll go to a club we won’t spend the whole weekend getting trashed, cos that’s not really her style. No strippers etc. She wants to be involved with most of the planning but I would like to still throw a couple of surprises in for her to make it more special for her.

The bare bones plan at the minute is as follows (April 2012):

Friday – night in at her house. Cooking etc, girly films, few bottle of wine, and stay over. This would be approx 8 people
Saturday – travel through to Leeds. Go to some sort of cupcake or chocolate making class (approx 2 hours). Approx 8 people again
Saturday evening – meal and drinks in Leeds. Need to organise a good restaurant. This could be for around 20 people (extra people invited from work etc)
Saturday night – we want to stay in a serviced apartment in Leeds rather than hotel rooms. Again just for the 8 people
Sunday – everyone travel back home.

(Just recently I’ve been to a Bistro Live venue in Nottingham which was great – dancing on the tables etc – so ideally I’d like something like that for her. Not too off-the-wall but quite fun and not just run of the mill.

Most guests will be in their twenties, bride will be 27. Her sister will be there (17) and her mum, and maybe an aunt etc but not too many older than that.

I’ve never actually been to a hen do and here I am trying to arrange one for someone else! Feeling very stressed and wondering what I’ve let myself in for!

Just wondered if anyone had any good/bad experiences of hen parties etc that you could share. What made them good/bad etc? Any useful tips for organizing a good weekend? Please help a novice out J

Hi

First of all, good luck with it all, it isn't easy arranging a hen party, but it sounds like you are putting a lot of thought and effort.

The b2b sounds quite similar to me, I am not a massive party animal, but do like to have a good time and would be be mortified if there was a stripper etc. I think what you have already planned sounds great, love the ideas of a cupcake class, I would really enjoy that.

The one thing I would say is be wary of Bistro live! I went there for a hen party and no one enjoyed it. I love my food and it takes a lot for me to leave food but I barely touched mine as it was sooooo bad. If your b2b is into food I would say avoid at all costs....i know myself and the other hens involved would have been very disappointed if that was our hen meal.

If you're trying to find something different, what about a boat cruise with a meal etc?

Idiophreak

I think it's the details that make these things...and it seems like you've the broad plan mapped out already. You want to make the b2b feel special and like everyone wants to be there. A couple of ideas:
1) A fun quiz, game etc to play through / after dinner all about b2b and g2b
2) Dressing up in the evening...not to everyone's taste, but will make b2b feel like everyone's put in effort. If not fancy dress, matching Ts etc?
3) A "hen do" book for people to write in and remember the day
4) Extra treat - maybe book the bride in for a massage or manicure etc on the Friday if she's not working and make it a surprise
5) Accessories...doesn't have to be willys on sticks...maybe a nice dressing gown with "future mrs xxx" on the back for Friday night...

Some of this stuff costs money, but a lot of it just costs time and effort - which it doesn't sound like you have a lot of atm, but it's mainly "thinking" - which all the other BMs should be able to help with, where ever they are.

moneypuddle

Thanks guys :-) Great ideas.

I think I might be spending a lot of time on google over the next few weeks :-)

ellies_angel

I had the most wonderful time on a hen weekend in Glasgow in November. It was so well organised. We paid £26 by standing order 8 months prior to the event. We met at the bus station and were all given a goodie bag which had in it a plastic wine glass with a glass charm with my name on it. A party popper with Naomi's hen party on it, a badge with Naomis hen party and a picture of Naomi. A small bottle of wine, some marshmallows a beautiful cup cake. a boa oh and an envelope with £52 because they had over estaimated. We then had bucksfizz and sandwiches while we waited for the bus.
On arrival in Glasgow we got a taxi to a dance glass had a glass of sangria and some salsa dancing lesssons, then a taxi to the hotel where we checked in, changed and met the bridesmaids in their suite which they had decorated and played some games. Had some drinks and nibbles. A taxi to the chinese restaurant for a meal before a walk to the theatre to see Dirty Dancing before a cocktail bar for some cocktails and then back to the hotel.
Everything was paid for out of our saving except for the meal and the £52 refund more than covered that. It was planned to perfection. It was sheer indulgance and we were all more than happy with it because on the 2 days it didn't cost us anything and the £26 a month I didn't notice.
They sources a lot from ebay, bus was booked in advance to get the best deal and the hotel was booked through a site so they got the very best deal

minerva_windsong

I would definitely say make sure it's something that the bride will like, although if she's involved in the planning then you may not have to worry about this too much. The other point I would make is that keeping costs down is a good idea, especially if people will have to travel - I went on my boyfriend's sister's hen do last summer and it was lovely (champagne breakfast cruise on the Thames, life drawing class, dinner out etc) but sooo expensive, especially as all the other hens were quite a bit older than me and had 'proper' jobs, so definitely take people's budgets into account, especially if they're having to travel.

In terms of the details, the quiz idea is good - we did a Mr & Mrs type one where we asked my boyfriend's now brother-in-law some questions and then the bride-to-be had to guess his answers, and recorded clips of him answering the questions to put into a slideshow on a friend's laptop. The other thing we had were silly dares of the 'whistle at builders/sing on the pavement until you make a pound/ask the best looking man in the room to dance' variety, but depending on how well you know the bride this might not be the right kind of thing. We also had a silly presents round where we had to buy a daft gift for the bride on a £5 budget, although I am aware that drives up costs...

I really love the surprise treat idea like something of a pampering nature as well; even if the bride is involved in the planning it's still nice to give her a little moment. I know there are services that will come over and do your nails/hair/make-up, facials etc for a girly night in so maybe something like that?

jojo2004

From the experience of organising my best mate's hen, and her doing the same for me (with my Mum and other bridesmaid), I have to say the most memorable parts are the most personal things - everyone at my hen contributed to a 'recipe book' (I love to cook) and put in a message, and a picture of me. Those who couldn't be there included, and my Mum put in a recipe from my very old grandmother, who is too ill to be at the wedding, which made me well up.

Those sorts of touches make it a gorgeous weekend.

Also, I second the comment by LEJC about not filling every minute - there has to be time to get to know/catch up with one another, and girls can chat for HOURS! We had a whole morning of my best mate's hen with nothing planned, and it was ace fun.

Don't panic - and do let the bride help you, as it sounds as if a) she wants to and perhaps b) that she knows you will find it daunting. Organising your own hen is COOL!

xx

Moomin21

You don't mention if you live in Leeds, but I do so if you want any recommendations of places to go then let me know!

I organised my best friends hen do in Leeds and everyone stayed at mine! there are some serviced apartments called roomzz (or something) near the call lane end of leeds which i think are quite nice, or some on the way to kirkstall but that might be a bit far out!

we went for afternoon tea at Roundhay Park (north leeds) which was gorgeous, 9 quid a head i think which is pretty good, also its mum friendly!! there are a few hotels in leeds city centre that do it too!

is you want a 'different' restaurant, bibis often has a few different things going on and the food is nice, and they do a party menu. there is also a german beirkeller on park row which has an 'oompah' band on a weekend...bit different maybe?! we went to tiger tiger for a meal and comedy thing but the food was AWFUL and we had to eat about 6 for the comedy to start which was a bit too early really!! esp coz we'd had afternoon tea at 3!!

happy to help if you need any other leeds based ideas!!

Moomin21

oh and i got a few personalised things on ebay quite cheap, good service from the people i used!!

Scotsbride

I was like the bride! my sis did a fantasrtic job with mine we went to the ice bar in london tickets cost approx £20 which included a glass or rather ice cude or fizz and then out for a meal. I think that there one in leeds if she would be up for that