Real life MMD: Should I stop age inappropriate gifts?

Twiggy_34

I'm assuming you've only guessed that she re-gifts and would probably go for an approach which gently makes the point, hopefully without causing to much embarrassment on her part.

You could return the gift to her telling her thank you very much, but you guess she hadn't noticed the toy is only suitable for 4+ yrs. Therefore you wondered whether her son would like it to play with instead of it sitting around gathering dust for the next 3+ years waiting for yours to be old enough.

It would come across as being a kind and practical gesture on your part with no grudges, while also subtly making the point that it was a not very well thought through gift for your son on her part.

Talent

It's ok saying put them away for when he's old enough.... what if you don't have room? Store a car for 3 years? Get real!! There is nothing wrong with explaining to your sister that the toys are too old for the little one. She's family for goodness sake.

akbrooker

If she actually is recycling unwanted presents for her own child then, given that she cannot possibly think a present suitable for a 6 year old fits a 5 month baby, she clearly can't be bothered to make any real effort - not money, not time buying a present, not even a thought about giving something appropriate. And that is a problem.

milvusvestal

Come on! The monetary value of a present is not a consideration, and neither is the fact that your son is too young to play with his cousin's old toys. It's just that you don't like him receiving recycled goods.

He'll grow into them, so why not put them away in the attic for now, and give them to him when he does reach the appropriate age?

akbrooker

Well, it's the thought that counts...?

Fujiko

What a lot of fuss about nothing! Keep the presents until he is old enough and give them at some other time than Christmas or birthday when children are frequently overwhelmed with gifts, or donate them to a children's hospice or a charity shop. It will be interesting to know what your sister-in-law will consider a suitable present in ten years time!

nczm

If you really feel that pointing out the age/recycling thing is an issue do what my family has always done; tell her to buy her little boy a gift from you and you'll buy yours one from her - kids get so much stuff you end up saving money as you usually buy something you would have got anyway and no chance or innappropriate gifts!

hellywobs

I thought it happened all the time - for example with duplicate gifts and gifts that your child doesn't want. And I'd much rather have something my child can grow into, rather than something that was too young (and that's happened to my son).

If you don't have the storage space, give them to charity shops. If you do, keep them. I had stuff given to me when my son was tiny that I kept for a couple of years. I've also given books to a friend for her baby - I KNOW her baby can't read, but she can read to the baby. She was quite happy to get the books, especially as she lives in Australia now and books are very expensive over there.

The other sensible suggestion is to buy for your own children but wrap it and put a label on "from Aunty X". I did this at Christmas for my mum, as she wasn't sure what to buy my 9 year old and didn't want to give him money.

ka_dugdale

Although I agree that presents should be appreciated I also think that your sister-in-law is obviously not giving any thought to what she gives to your children. That would really annoy me as I always try and find presents that people would really like. I would make a point of saying that is a shame that your child can't play with it now and see if she gets the hint.

olliedog

Just say "Thank you very much, it may be a bit old for him yet, so I'll keep it until he's a old enough" End of subject, and if she doesn't take the hint start giving her children recycled presents that are too young for them.