Divorcing wannabe bigamist

Standingtall

Hi all. Well here goes for my bitter and twisted tirade regarding soon to be ex husband:rotfl:

Well ok, I am not quite that bad just yet, just a little jealous that he is moving on I guess wilst I devote my life to my kids. Still, I would rather do that I think, then be the idiot he is. (there I go, name calling again:mad:)

So, the rather young mother of his new son had apparently asked him to marry her at Christmas, he has accepted. This despite the fact that they are actually both still married; him to me and her to her ex.:eek: He and I have been separated for around 5 years but never bothered to divorce, not sure about his reasons but mine were simply cost orientated.

I now have my own mortgage on the house and his name was taken off the deeds etc by the solicitor with his permission. He has a low paid job. He is living seperately to her as she doesn't want to lose her benefits - presumably she needs these to pay for food for her Rottweiler (oops, there I go again).

Seriously though, if HE decides to divorce ME, will this be cheaper for me, would the issue of home equity be brought up (all of about £15k ATM)? What costs am I likely to incur?

I know I joke about all this above, it is my way of coping, sorry. However, I am worried. I have can average wage so would not get any financial help. However, I am in a DMP and what money I have spare I would rather no give to a solicitor! The main reasons for my bitterness are not any residual feelings for him but because his daughter with me is now becoming the outsider; no maintenance and increasingly infrequent contact.

Any advice on the costs appreciated please.

Gillyx

Never mind about divorce, I'd be contacting CSA about no maintenance being paid. Even in a low paying job he should be contributing.

Padstow

Standingtall wrote: »

Hi all. Well here goes for my bitter and twisted tirade regarding soon to be ex husband:rotfl:

Well ok, I am not quite that bad just yet, just a little jealous that he is moving on I guess wilst I devote my life to my kids. Still, I would rather do that I think, then be the idiot he is. (there I go, name calling again:mad:)

So, the rather young mother of his new son had apparently asked him to marry her at Christmas, he has accepted. This despite the fact that they are actually both still married; him to me and her to her ex.:eek: He and I have been separated for around 5 years but never bothered to divorce, not sure about his reasons but mine were simply cost orientated.

I now have my own mortgage on the house and his name was taken off the deeds etc by the solicitor with his permission. He has a low paid job. He is living seperately to her as she doesn't want to lose her benefits - presumably she needs these to pay for food for her Rottweiler (oops, there I go again).

Seriously though, if HE decides to divorce ME, will this be cheaper for me, would the issue of home equity be brought up (all of about £15k ATM)? What costs am I likely to incur?

I know I joke about all this above, it is my way of coping, sorry. However, I am worried. I have can average wage so would not get any financial help. However, I am in a DMP and what money I have spare I would rather no give to a solicitor! The main reasons for my bitterness are not any residual feelings for him but because his daughter with me is now becoming the outsider; no maintenance and increasingly infrequent contact.

Any advice on the costs appreciated please.

The actual divorce costs are around £500, including the issuing of the nisi and absolute documents from the court. You might be entitled to lower fees. He needs the divorce though so let him pay it.
I would also be asking for the whole equity in lieu of non CM. Then make a claim for that for the future.
Get advice from CAB. Some sols do 30 minutes free, have your questions ready.
I laughed at your post, especially the first line.:D

Standingtall

Hi, thanks for response about CSA. I am in contact with them again. He did used to pay through CSA but the got sacked from his job. I was the awarded the £5 a week basic from his JSA. However, whilst claiming he was doing fiddley jobs for mates of which, obviously, he gave us nothing:mad: He now has a low pay job - min wage, 30 hours and sometimes less. I doubt therefore that the CSA will take much from that. He is still doing other jobs for his mates though!

Very, very annoying! I know exes often (rightly or wrongly) do not like to think we are enjoying ourselves on their money, however, I have even suggested that he gives daughter some pocket money directly into here bank. But no, he cannot afford it ....

Standingtall

Padstow wrote: »

The actual divorce costs are around £500, including the issuing of the nisi and absolute documents from the court. You might be entitled to lower fees. He needs the divorce though so let him pay it.
I would also be asking for the whole equity in lieu of non CM. Then make a claim for that for the future.
Get advice from CAB. Some sols do 30 minutes free, have your questions ready.
I laughed at your post, especially the first line.:D

Thanks, I laugh at myself all the time:j. So, will I pay less due to him divorcing me - especially since he will probably get legal aid ( paid for by my tax contributions, grrrhhh)?

mandi

There is no law in England and Wales that parties have to have a solicitor in their divorce or civil partnership dissolution and both parties can represent themselves. Often, especially if both agree, only one former partner has a solicitor usually the one who starts the divorce or dissolution.

http://www.alternativefamilylaw.co.uk/en/divorce/diy-divorce.htm

http://www.cps.gov.uk/legal/s_to_u/sentencing_manual/bigamy/

Standingtall

mandi wrote: »

There is no law in England and Wales that parties have to have a solicitor in their divorce or civil partnership dissolution and both parties can represent themselves. Often, especially if both agree, only one former partner has a solicitor usually the one who starts the divorce or dissolution.

http://www.alternativefamilylaw.co.uk/en/divorce/diy-divorce.htm

http://www.cps.gov.uk/legal/s_to_u/sentencing_manual/bigamy/

Thanks Mandi, I'll take a look at these.

BitterAndTwisted

OI! Don't bring me into your troubles! I haven't done anything to you.

As advised let him finance the divorce. You won't need a solicitor until and unless he tries to get his filthy mitts on the property or its equity. Your equity. The roof over your children's heads that you've been paying for the last God knows how long on your own. Then, when that's all sorted get busy with the CSA and think about grassing him up about his partner on benefits and his untaxed earnings.

doodoot

OP, great opening lines. :beer:

Definitely worth contacting the CSA to ask if and when the ex told them that he's working again...he should have told them straight away...naughty boy.

I despise fathers who move on to another woman and then 'forget' their responsibilities to the children they had beforehand.

And deffo let him be the one to instigate the divorce, although you will probably find out that nothing happens - if both of them need a divorce, he's got no money and she's on benefits it's unlikely they will bother due to the cost.

elantan

he cant afford the child he has but is having another ...

clearingout

devil's advocate...isn't it normally the case that the side being divorced (respondent) is asked, politely, to pay for the costs of the divorce because they are the one in the wrong? Just watch that one, OP, that's all. It would make sense, if he's entitled to Legal Aid, for him to be doing the divorcing but do be careful you don't get lumbered with the cost of it. There are cheap online solutions to divorcing - many of them not recommended so have a google before choosing one!

Grass them up for having a child together but not living together. If she's got a ring on her finger and a baby by him, they will struggle to prove that they are not a couple and are just living apart for her benefit purposes. That'll give him something else to worry about with the divorce, other than whether he's going to come after you for some of the equity in your house, perhaps?!

Good luck. Keep your sense of humour - you might need it!