I have zero confidence, is surgery my only option?

marywooyeah

Ravenlady your post made me lol! mine too resembles a bum lmao - I call it my "flap"

OP most women who have a baby end up with a saggy tummy at the bottom, I'm very concious of mine so can sympathise but to me it sounds like yours is worse due to such significant weight loss. If it is really depressing you and affecting your relationship I think you should consult your GP about surgery. you say you dont want to go down that route but then ask if it is your only option - it's probably not your only option, are there exercises to help tone it you could do? I've never looked into it so not sure, but I have heard sometimes surgery can effectively tightened up these pouches so think it's worth considering.

I hope you start to feel better soon, and your partner sounds lovely he's a keeper!

j.e.j.

Well done for managing to lose the 4 stone, and as for the excess skin.. remember Susannah (of Trinny & Susannah)?? Even she had this problem, - just dressed to hide it

If you don't like that part of you, you can keep it covered, but try not to let this one issue take over your life.

psychopathbabble

Your partner loves you for you... every single little bit of you, and even more so now you have produced a beautiful baby that you have created together. Hope you can work something out and love yourself too. x

pinkclouds

Lotus-eater wrote: »

I can tell you exactly how your OH feels and exactly how you ought to feel, but that come in a close 2nd to how you really feel.
He loves you for what you are, he will love you no matter what, belly or no belly, it doesn't matter.
He loves YOU, get used to it, because it's true.

^I'm sure your hubby will always love you regardless. Our bodies are just a set of "clothes" that we wear and our inner selves never change.

loopydoot wrote: »

After having my baby I had to have over 50 stitches, wont go into detail but I couldnt walk for 6 weeks. Because of this the last thing on my mind was losing the weight.

Fast forward to now and my stomach is a mess, if I sit down "it" hangs down onto my legs, it hangs over my clothes, I dont even have a bellybutton anymore!

However... Fifty stitches sounds like a lot. And no tummy button? Literally? Did you have a c-section that went wrong? Bad tears (3rd or 4th degree) would need a lot of stitches but surely wouldn't affect your tummy button...?

A "normal" delivery should mean slightly crepey skin (that you'd eventually get from ageing anyway) and slightly rounded tummy (the sort of thing you would have dieted away as a teen but is now here to stay). However, I cannot tell from where I'm typing if you had a normal delivery or if something has gone badly wrong in the OR.

Do you have any friends who had c-sections? If you're just blowing things out of proportion then talking it over and/or viewing the scars of someone who has been through the same thing may make you feel better. Alternatively, your GP can examine you and tell you if everything is normal or if you actually do need surgery. Stuff like unusual pain, weeping/splitting scar, hindered movement, etc, all shout "go to the doctor asap". But there could be other things too.

Or, to put it another way, no one's body is exactly the same pre-baby and post-baby. At it's simplest, you've gained and lost a lot of weight in a short period of time and can expect some of the same results as a yo-yo dieter. Anything worse than that should be checked out by a doctor.

carefullycautious

I also suffer with this. I will say that the best exercise which helped was swimming but you do have to keep it up.

It is something to do with the muscles in your stomach which can be operated on but as others have said you may not be able to have another pregnancy as it will cause problems.

Talk with your gp and see what he/she says

Lotus-eater

As suggested a corset may help you have more confidence, but a tummy shaping thing might also, some ladies also like wearing a tightish nightdress when they go to bed, which they can then pull down from the top and up from the bottom, so they get the physical side of nakedness, but their tummy is a bit hidden and pulled in and they feel better like that.

Not that I'm a women, but I'm a good student

LondonDiva

I think you need to contact your GP asap with a request for serious counselling. In your current state you shouldn't even be considered for surgery (NHS or private) until you've worked through the issues contributing to these feelings re your body image with a trained counsellor.

sukysue

Hmm think you may be suffering from undiagnosed post natal depression m'dear please go to your Gp and seek some help. We all have these little lumps and bumps and petty imperfections but they are part and parcel of life it's only when we feel particularly low they seem to become enormous . GOOD LUCK.

claire16c

Person_one wrote: »

50 stitches and no belly button? Do you have a lot of scarring? Is this the result of a traumatic caesarian?

If so, I think you should go to your GP and tell them that the after effects of your surgery are affecting you psychologically and damaging your relationship. I don't know if your problems are severe enough that reconstructive surgery on the NHS would be an option but counselling to come to terms with the change certainly should be if not.

If your stomach is in fact just the normal result of a pregnancy and birth, its very extreme that you're considering leaving your partner who you've just had a child with, over this one issue. Its also worrying that you say you 'haven't felt like you' since having the baby. You could be suffering some post natal depression. Going to your GP is the best option all round.

I agree, you need to go to your GP either way.


50 stitches and no tummy button doesnt sound like what happens usually!

I was only reading a post on here the other day where someone said they had some kind of issue after having a baby and when they went to their gp, they were horrified that the midwives/doctors in the hospital had let them out like that. Although of course if you have lost a lot of weight that could be the cause.

But theres a difference between a 'mummy tummy' and what you are describing and no one on here can obviously tell you without seeing what you have. So I think you should see your doctor and take it from there.