Worry about Daughter

Mimi09

My daughter is non verbal and as a result is socially delayed. I invite a couple of different girls from her (mainstream) class to come for tea every fornight. We do a baking/craft activitity so there isn't pressure to play. Although DD doesn't play directly with them, she loves having them at home....there's a waiting list of girls who want to come!

grey_lady

There's quite a few books on Amazon about helping your child to overcome shyness - i guess you could also ask her if theres any activity or treat that would help her to feel happier about the move.

KiKi

Torndao01 wrote: »

I think I really need to work on how I feel about the situation.

It certainly is possible that you're more upset than your daughter...

Like all mothers I just want to know shes happy, I have asked her, but she says is she wants to be back in the UK. Sometimes its hard to tell if she's just saying it, as a couple of days ago we went to a new friends house with a girl her age, they played for ages, lots of laughing. Only the way home I asked her if she had a good time, she just moaned about the girl and said she wanted to be a home in the UK:-(

...and that your concern then gives her the opportunity to moan!

A move to another country is incredibly difficult for a child that age. They leave behind friends, security, everything they know. She's bound to say she wants to go home, esp if you give her the opportunity to. But at that friend's house she played, had fun, and seemed happy to you, didn't she?

Perhaps you could find some other local clubs where there are slightly younger children who are still into playing, or as someone else suggested, ask the leader who she speaks to and plays with at Brownies.

It's *possible*, of course, that your DD says she has no friends because she's trying to make a point that she wants to go back to the UK, or that she subconsciously (and unknowingly) isn't making friends because she thinks she might be leaving again soon. Whereas the reality might be that she's actually quite happy at school with the people there.

If I were you I'd talk to the class teacher and the Brownie leader and find out the real situation. Once you know, you can talk to your DD and plan your response: finding more clubs and actively looking for friends / readjusting your own expectations / reassuring your DD that you won't be leaving in the next few months so making friends is okay etc.

I hope things get better for you and her.
KiKi

Yolina

Although I am not shy (and wasn't as a kid), I've never been a "people person" and I always much preferred reading a book for instance or doing things on my own than being with a big group of people. I would have absolutely hated it when I was your daughter's age if my parents had taken it upon themselves to invite the whole class or try to make me join clubs and the likes. I've always only ever had very few (but very good) friends, it was the same through uni and is the same now (I'm 39) - that's just how I am, and I am *perfectly* happy that way

pollys

Have you spoken to the school? Could they help? eg set up a "circle of friends" also known as a "circle of support" for your daughter. We do this at our school and it is very helpful.

Pollys

vodkafrog

Hi, not all children develop at the same rate, this includes social skills. As others have suggested consider is she developing in other areas, eg academically, emotionally. Most important is to consider is she is happy, does she desire friends but stuggles to make them, then this would suggest you need to act, or does she seem happy with her own company. Many things can influence social devlopment maybe a chat with a health professional could help.