The Giving Up/ Cutting Down alcohol support thread - number 11

shaggydoo

Morning :hello:

1 more AFD.



Shaggyx

Edit I have updated #3667

mrsrainman

Morning All,

Sorry for being MIA. Life just seems to get in the way at the moment. I have been trying to log on every few days to keep up with what's been happening.

Big Hugs to everyone who needs them. Especially Mackeroo :grouphug:

The thread seems to be really positive at the mo. Targets being reached, personal milestones being acheived. Well done Chocolate Cupcake for your 9 AF days :T

Not much to report from the Rainman household. MrR is slowly getting through The Book. He did start talking last night about the money he wastes on alcohol and that he feels bad that I buy most of the food/petrol and contibute to the bills despite my low income. He talked about The Book, and wanting to stop. He even mentioned going to the doctors for some help. I know it's only words at the moment but I really hope there is some action to follow it up for the sake of his health and my wealth!

Have a good weekend everyone

MrsR xx

CuppaTea

Wow, I didn't realise I hadn't been back here for a while, been meaning to, but RL got in the way.

Sorry not had time to read back but hope everyone is having lots of AFness before xmas.

I have been doing ok, not great but acceptable. Had a couple of nights where I clearly had too much to drink, but its been mostly very moderate or AF. Have lost count for this month, so will write it off.

My November target is 15 please shaggy.

Quick home update, DH has now moving in with his parents after a 4 month stay with his friend. He had outstayed his welcome there and I said to him you are taking the mick. His friend didn't disagree when he said he would move as soon as his old bedroom was cleared.

I am still off work with back and stomach problems, I feel very fragile some days emotionally and physically and I don't always sleep well. I have some good friends around me though, so i don't feel too lonely. Of course there are times when I miss DH lots, esp at night and I wonder if I will ever have s*x again , but on the whole I am coping. My plate is full with 2 kids, being there for them properly, the house and the associated running of it, swimming twice a week for my back and I'm a parent helper at the kids school one morning a week with the littlies reading. There is always something happening and I feel like most days I am squeezing it in.

DH and I talked last weekend and we decided to give it a try, slowly, him coming around twice a week to see us. We both agreed to set targets. I have put plans in place to meet mine, but on his first visit to us, none of his have been put on place. Other things happened too which were not conducive to happy evening together. I spoke to him about it and he agreed all my points were valid, but as usual with him its all talk and no action. Feel like I am talking to a brick wall half the time.

So we have gone 1 step forward, 2 back, possibly 3. I have withdrawn my contact for the rest of the week, saying he should take the kids out saturday and spend time with them. I just don't want to be around him if he can't treat me properly and make some effort to help us.

Financially I have started to seperate things, so its easier in the future, but nothing that can't be quickly undone if we do reunite. Its been 4 months now, hard to believe. I am not saying NO to us indefinitely, just for now. But I am struggling to think that we will make it and I need to face that, which is what I am doing. Its a shame as I love him dearly and I want us to be a two parent family, but as his wife I deserve to be communicated with and have consideration, not someone to be slotted in when he thinks about it.

To his credit though he is a decent man and does still love us all. He wants us to stay in the house and wants to give us what we need financially. I can't fault him for that. I think he is being a little unrealistic as at some point, he will want to move out of his parents and either rent or flat share somewhere. He has never lived alone, maybe it will do him good. But considering he hasn't washed his sleeping bag in 4 months :eek:, I dread to think how that would fare. Apparently it didn't occur to him as he says he doesn't sweat and its not like a bed. Errr sorry but I fail to see the difference entirely!!!!

So sorry about the lack of AF counting, but I am not worried, I can do better, I know that but I have certainly done worse.

Happy weekend everyone.

maman

Good to see you MrsR. I know it's usual to talk about a LBM but there are different ways of coming to a decision to change. I dithered about for years, making excuses to myself before coming on here and giving AFDs a try. It sounds as if MrR knowas what he should do but is finding it hard to take that big step. It'll come.:)

tracy_36

16AF please Shaggy - wb MrsR and Cuppa

ChocolateCupcake

1 AFD to add for me please. That was 10 AF days in a row.
Tonight I'm going to have a nice glass of pink wine while I watch tv. No more than that............I feel stronger now.
Hope you all have a fab weekend.

365days

Just popping in to say that when I wake up in the morning I will be 3 years AF. Who would of thought it??? Certainly not me!

mrsrainman

Nice to see you Cuppa :wave:

Thanks Maman, I think he will be dithering for a little while yet, but I do see a glimmer of light.

Well done 365 :T:T

MrsR xx

heath480

Happy 3rd sober birthday to you 365.:T

tracy_36

Afternoon all, I had me planned AF night out, taking me to 17AF for Oct now

And, I chatted up a guy and gave him my number - who needs alcohol for confidence lol

Mind you, very bored of lime and soda, but danced loads so needed the hydration

Hope you all have a great weekend

Tracy x