Keeping up appearances.......

PinotGrigio41

Morning Mrs Happy,

Brilliant quote, and I agree with Piq, I think we should ALL put it in our signatures !

Can you imagine the strange looks in the Supermarket when your phone lets off a pre recorded GRrrrrr in the Choccy aisle just as you reached for that lovely bar of Galaxy !! :eek:

When the time is right you will tell Mr Happy I'm sure, Mrs Troubles story below is an interesting one though, its always nice to hear from someone who has been in a similar situation and approached it in a similar way. A lot of what she said is similar to our situation as well, the car for example and the questioning that will no doubt come when it possibly isnt replaced when it heads for Car Heaven. I'm already getting strange looks now as it chuggs around !

Mine is more a "fly by the seat of your pants" approach as opposed to your much methodical one . I think I need your voice pre recorded telling me to concentrate on one thing at a time and to do it properly before moving on, but in a angry, bossy voice !! :eek:

Have a Wonderful Easter with the lovely Happy Family. xxx

brizzledfw

Hi all

Hope you're having a great Easter Happy! The odd lapse is nowt to be ashamed of!!;)

Lovely posts Malmesbury and Mrs T - please do start a diary..I think it helps a lot. I started on here in about 2008 but stuttered until this year when I realised that the savings we had begun to build up were being wiped out by my overspending..resulting in my sig.. I was growling all right!

I find the discipline and fessing up when you have a bad day/week or whatever keeps me focussed for the next time..cos tis war against debt is not an easy one and certainly wasn't won in a day! We have good wages in my house, especially given I am part time...but everyone has different priorities and path to be DF or MF. The posters on here are lovely and very supportive.

Malmesbury - lovely town btw

Brizzle

HappyNow

Mrs_Trouble wrote: »

I can totally empathise with your situation. I have huge debts but a much larger mortgage (!) however me and my OH both earn a lot of money and it is very much a case of keeping up appearances. Like you, we are more than aware that our second car will soon go to car heaven and we can't replace it, and our friends will wonder why etc. this year there has been no foreign holidays, no new clothes, less socialising, much less shopping at Mr T's and I am sure I can see some friends/family wondering why.....it really is a funny old world but I no longer care what people say or think my stock answer is that we are over paying the mortgage. It works.

One thing that really struck a chord is that your husband doesn't know the extent of the debt. Until March last year neither did my husband, until he found a neat list of all the debts in the cupboard. At the time my world fell apart and a huge sense of relief came over me at the same time. I thought I was being kind concealing the truth from my husband, as he knew we had debts but not how much. Sadly he felt let down by me and deceived. It has taken a long year for me to get some trust back, but I have to say that I sleep at night now as I don't worry about him finding out and we are tackling the debts together. Since he found out I have gone on a DMP and debts that aren't in a DMP will begone by December.

My most overwhelming regret is that I wish I had done something about it sooner - it seems such a waste doesn't it, worrying about debt when it can be solved with some good money keeping.

I have subscribed to your diary as I love your enthusiasm, but I just recognised myself a little in your approach and wonder whether your debt journey would be one better shared with your husband. Saying that, this year hasn't been easy and it has at times nearly broke us, but I think I underestimated how badly deceived my husband would feel about the secret I had, when I thought I was protecting him.

I hope I don't offend you as we each make our own decisions in life, I suppose I just wish I'd make a better one!

I look forward to reading your debt free journey.

Hello Mrs Trouble, thanks for reading and replying. And of course I'm not offended! I'm genuinely pleased to hear another perspective on a similar problem .

With Mr Happy, I actually think he subconsciously prefers not to know the size of our debts. He knows we have some debt, and he knows about the money-management system I have put in place. His spending was never excessive, but he has curbed it even more and has accepted without question that his hobby budget (a form of motorsport) has been cut back to £200 per month for the foreseeable future. He also knows that we can't afford to replace his car right now, even though he keeps looking at new ones on the internet.

Mr Happy is a worrier, and prone to a bit of panic! I honestly think that knowing the figures would spoil his enjoyment of life - even the free things. If telling him would clear our debts quicker, then I would. But actually it wouldn't make any difference at all because I make all the financial decisions and control our spending. All it would do is make ME stressed too, having to cope with his worrying. So whilst I think I am protecting him a bit by keeping quiet, there is also an element of self-preservation in there. I will keep reviewing it though, and as the debt reduces so will the eventual shock to his system!

I'm pleased that it's working out well for you and Mr Trouble, and roll on December to see the back of your non-DMP debts! I see you don't have a diary yourself, so please feel free to keep posting on here - all company welcomed! x

HappyNow

Piquant wrote: »

Grrrrrrrrr - naughty Happy, smacked fingers for the Galaxy......
Piq

Galaxies, Piq. Plural :(

PinotGrigio41 wrote: »

Can you imagine the strange looks in the Supermarket when your phone lets off a pre recorded GRrrrrr in the Choccy aisle just as you reached for that lovely bar of Galaxy !! :eek:
I think I need your voice pre recorded telling me to concentrate on one thing at a time and to do it properly before moving on, but in a angry, bossy voice !! :eek:

I think we've hit on something here, people! Motivational/scolding voice-recordings. We could market and sell them. Bagsy do the 'GET YER HANDS OFF THAT WINE BOTTLE AND DO SOME CLEANING' one.

brizzledfw wrote: »

Lovely posts Malmesbury and Mrs T - please do start a diary..I think it helps a lot. I started on here in about 2008 but stuttered until this year when I realised that the savings we had begun to build up were being wiped out by my overspending..resulting in my sig.. I was growling all right!

I find the discipline and fessing up when you have a bad day/week or whatever keeps me focussed for the next time..cos tis war against debt is not an easy one and certainly wasn't won in a day!
Brizzle

Absolutely Brizzle. I accept that anyone looking at my sig will suspect I'm a bit short on wisdom! However, if I could give one piece of advice to anyone trying to beat debt, it would be to start a diary. Accountability and support in equal measures, just what's needed!

Sorry I still haven't had chance to catch up on everyone's diaries. I will be on it very sooooon x

Box_of_Fluffies

Hi HN, glad to see you're still managing to pop in even though you have the family at home for the holidays.

Accountability and support in equal measures, just what's needed!

Sounds like a Weightwatchers meeting! :rotfl::rotfl:

Tilly_MFW_in_6_YRS

Good morning, just dropping in to lend some support. I haven't read all of your diary yet, but I will. One post resonated with me, and that was about high salaries. Mr Tilly and I earn about the same each and it's a significant income, but we also over spent. We didn't end up with credit card debt as such, as every time we had a bonus, we just used it to pay something off but if we had not received a bonus, we would have been stuffed. Therefore, in the last, let's say 10 years, we have never really benefited from salary rises or bonus payments. What a waste!

I wish you every success on your journey and look forward to picking up tips on the way.

Best wishes Tilly

Piquant_2

HappyNow wrote: »

Galaxies, Piq. Plural :(

Ah.... I see.....:jI thought I was the only person that ate more than one in a sitting! I've always thought there's something wrong with people that can eat one square and walk away :rotfl:



I think we've hit on something here, people! Motivational/scolding voice-recordings. We could market and sell them. Bagsy do the 'GET YER HANDS OFF THAT WINE BOTTLE AND DO SOME CLEANING' one.

...and 'YES, YOUR BUM DOES LOOK ENORMOUS IN THAT! GET BACK ON YOUR DIET NOW AND DO TWENTY SQUAT THRUSTS'...

Absolutely Brizzle. I accept that anyone looking at my sig will suspect I'm a bit short on wisdom! However, if I could give one piece of advice to anyone trying to beat debt, it would be to start a diary. Accountability and support in equal measures, just what's needed!

I completely agree. Accountability is key along with telling the truth to yourself at all times. Support makes the tough going easier, just knowing someone has some good advice or experience makes things so much easier.

Sorry I still haven't had chance to catch up on everyone's diaries. I will be on it very sooooon x

You'd better make yourself a pot of tea to catch up on the diaries, they've grown quite a lot since you last looked!

Have a wonderful Easter Sunday.

Piq

HappyNow

Hi Fluffies and Piq, thanks for dropping by and making me giggle .

I managed a catch up on some of the diaries yesterday and I loved it. Going to do a couple more now if the family stay in bed .

Well yesterday I finally listed an item on ebay after all these months of talking about it. Actually Little Miss Happy did it for me and as she has already sold a few things on there she has a 100% positive feedback thing, which might help. I watched her do it and it wasn't too difficult, so fingers crossed for a good experience - three watchers already and it only went on last night. It's a beautiful cardigan, quite expensive and still with the tags on - too lovely to just be hung in my wardrobe forever.

HappyNow

Tilly_MFW_in_6_YRS wrote: »

Good morning, just dropping in to lend some support. I haven't read all of your diary yet, but I will. One post resonated with me, and that was about high salaries. Mr Tilly and I earn about the same each and it's a significant income, but we also over spent. We didn't end up with credit card debt as such, as every time we had a bonus, we just used it to pay something off but if we had not received a bonus, we would have been stuffed. Therefore, in the last, let's say 10 years, we have never really benefited from salary rises or bonus payments. What a waste!

I wish you every success on your journey and look forward to picking up tips on the way.

Best wishes Tilly

Hi Tilly, thanks very much for the support . You're right, it's the waste that hurts the most. But what's done is done - onwards and upwards now.

I've just had a quick look at your diary on the MFW board. I've never been on there before, although it's pencilled in for 2019! I've only read your first and last few posts, but wow you're focussed!! I'll read through it properly when I find a bit of time because you have made some serious changes and I might want to copy some . Good luck with your challenge x

vickthestick

Morning, Happy
I got up early this morning to finish reading your diary. I was reading it in bed last night on my phone but then the phone ran out of battery and I wasn't going to get back out of bed to charge it
I have subscribed so I can accompany you along the way.