Keeping up appearances.......

poohbear59

I feel sneaky writing things in my diary and yours sometimes. One of the ways I get away with it is that I moderate another forum every other week. It means I get to use the lappy more every other week so if I am not around it is usually because I haven't got use of it. Does anyone else forget to close MSE and worry about it being read by family members?

PinotGrigio41

poohbear59 wrote: »

I feel sneaky writing things in my diary and yours sometimes. One of the ways I get away with it is that I moderate another forum every other week. It means I get to use the lappy more every other week so if I am not around it is usually because I haven't got use of it. Does anyone else forget to close MSE and worry about it being read by family members?

Yes Pooh, I leave mine open often without thinking , usually only on my own diary though , its DD2 that I think would have a sneaky read given half a chance, as she is often hovering over my shoulder as I type !

Alice_in_Poorland

Happy we started our debt free journeys at about the same time and I can remember reading your diary. I've just caught up (apologies for not catching up sooner!!) and I must say how well you are doing. We had the same problem with things having to be paid for before the 'pots' had chance to grow. Also keeping our poor financial state top secret is an priority.

OH knows all about my diary and the kids know I keep an on-line diary but they don't know the full details.

I am quite addicted to these diaries but haven't got to the 'staying up until 3.00am stage'......yet.xx

brizzledfw

Hello lovely people! Back after a couple of days away for work and I have missed you all loads. I can really identify with worrying sometimes about not getting the wording quite right, not adding anything of interest/use but usually I post anyway!

Will be catching up on the diaries over next couple of days. Have to say checking in I can see there are some definite contenders for the medal places..but everything to play for for a bronze...so how daft can we go in our pursuit of all things MSE??!!

malmesbury_2

Hi Happy,

i have just spent the last week reading your diary from the beginning, and you are doing amazingly! i havent started my own diary yet (not sure how i would have time to update that as well as reading everyone elses!) but i find reading diaries, and in particular yours, a real motivating factor in my debt busting journey.

i like you, cannot wait for each month to come when i can update my signature - it keeps me going and focuses me i think!

my Oh is well aware of our debts, but does get down about them, however i am supposed to be the "hand-brake" on spending in our relationship, so i think if he wasnt aware, he would contiune to live well beyond our means! he still doesnt think about where the pennies go, but he is so much better at thinking about buying more expensive things and thinking do we actually need them. i make him a packed lunch and a flask of coffee each day now as he wouldnt necessarily bother as he loves buying lattes, but if he has it then he wont buy- so if i put the effort in, it helps on the spending i guess!

anyway, ramble over!, i just wanted to you are really inspiring and you are doing a tremendous job, if the debt just goes down little and often then the most important thing is that it is not increasing anymore.

enjoy your Easter with your family x

HappyNow

Good morning everyone! Sorry I couldn't make it at 5.00 am today, I was.....well, I was SLEEPING! Sounds like that's a bit old-hat around these parts just now, and our middle-of-the-night-club is the place to be!

Thanks so much for everybody's comments. I haven't been able to log on for a couple of days, but I have been doing a little light off-line stalking, and I am going to have a proper catch-up on all the diaries very soon.

I'm another one who worries about offending people by saying the wrong thing, or phrasing things badly, or not remembering something that someone said 14 pages back in their diary!! I hereby put a public disclaimer on my own diary - I will ALWAYS genuinely believe that people mean any comment in a kind way, and I won't take offence if it doesn't come out quite right. There's some ancient chain email still doing the rounds, and one of the bits on it says "If there are two ways of interpreting something I said, and one of those ways upsets you, I meant the other one" Well that's me, that is!

Ooh yes, I am very paranoid about leaving my diary open. It's an absolute secret and not one person in the whole (real-life) world knows about it. I've made myself a bizarre promise this week, which is that I will tell Mr Happy the truth, the whole truth and nothing but the truth on the day that our unsecured debts go below the level of our mortgage debt. There is no logic or reasoning to that whatsoever, and I have literally no idea when it will happen! But as the mortgage has 17 years to run it will definitely be before 2029 :rotfl:. Until then, I will keep logging off carefully and never leave MSE up on the PC.

Piquant wrote: »

I can do growl! Please can I be in charge of growling?

Piq - you can most definitely be in charge of growling, and I wish you'd been with me in Tesco last night when I bought £6 worth of junk food that I didn't need and couldn't afford (Little Miss Happy was having sugar-cravings and they rubbed off on me!). Normally the thought of having to 'fess up on my diary helps me resist, but the urges were too strong last night. I could have really used a pre-recorded growl on my phone to play to my fingers as they reached for the Galaxy bars!

Piquant_2

HappyNow wrote: »

G

I'm another one who worries about offending people by saying the wrong thing, or phrasing things badly, or not remembering something that someone said 14 pages back in their diary!! I hereby put a public disclaimer on my own diary - I will ALWAYS genuinely believe that people mean any comment in a kind way, and I won't take offence if it doesn't come out quite right. There's some ancient chain email still doing the rounds, and one of the bits on it says "If there are two ways of interpreting something I said, and one of those ways upsets you, I meant the other one" Well that's me, that is!

Piq - you can most definitely be in charge of growling, and I wish you'd been with me in Tesco last night when I bought £6 worth of junk food that I didn't need and couldn't afford (Little Miss Happy was having sugar-cravings and they rubbed off on me!). Normally the thought of having to 'fess up on my diary helps me resist, but the urges were too strong last night. I could have really used a pre-recorded growl on my phone to play to my fingers as they reached for the Galaxy bars!

Grrrrrrrrr - naughty Happy, smacked fingers for the Galaxy......:rotfl:Hey! I ate a crunchie ice-cream last night and I'm on diet! B*gger....

"If there are two ways of interpreting something I said, and one of those ways upsets you, I meant the other one" Brilliant statement, perhaps we should put it in our signature?

Don't tear yourself up about having to tell the world about your debts. You don't. Mr Happy, yes, when the time is right and as you say, you've got until 2029...

Piq

HappyNow

malmesbury wrote: »

Hi Happy,

i have just spent the last week reading your diary from the beginning, and you are doing amazingly! i havent started my own diary yet (not sure how i would have time to update that as well as reading everyone elses!) but i find reading diaries, and in particular yours, a real motivating factor in my debt busting journey.

i like you, cannot wait for each month to come when i can update my signature - it keeps me going and focuses me i think!

my Oh is well aware of our debts, but does get down about them, however i am supposed to be the "hand-brake" on spending in our relationship, so i think if he wasnt aware, he would contiune to live well beyond our means! he still doesnt think about where the pennies go, but he is so much better at thinking about buying more expensive things and thinking do we actually need them. i make him a packed lunch and a flask of coffee each day now as he wouldnt necessarily bother as he loves buying lattes, but if he has it then he wont buy- so if i put the effort in, it helps on the spending i guess!

anyway, ramble over!, i just wanted to you are really inspiring and you are doing a tremendous job, if the debt just goes down little and often then the most important thing is that it is not increasing anymore.

enjoy your Easter with your family x

Hello Malmesbury, thanks so much for reading and for your comments .

I completely agree about diaries being motivating. I think I would have fallen off the wagon before now if it weren't for mine. I would definitely recommend you start one, even if you don't have time to update it all that regularly. Some people only update theirs once a week or once a month. But if ever you feel a bit de-motivated, it's so good to read back through it and remind yourself how far you've come. Anyway, if you don't want your own diary, you are more than welcome to join in on here - the more the merrier!

And yes, my favourite day of the month is payday, just because I can update my signature! Next Friday for me - can't wait!! x

Mrs_Trouble

Hi Happy - just sat since the early hours reading your diary

I can totally empathise with your situation. I have huge debts but a much larger mortgage (!) however me and my OH both earn a lot of money and it is very much a case of keeping up appearances. Like you, we are more than aware that our second car will soon go to car heaven and we can't replace it, and our friends will wonder why etc. this year there has been no foreign holidays, no new clothes, less socialising, much less shopping at Mr T's and I am sure I can see some friends/family wondering why.....it really is a funny old world but I no longer care what people say or think my stock answer is that we are over paying the mortgage. It works.

One thing that really struck a chord is that your husband doesn't know the extent of the debt. Until March last year neither did my husband, until he found a neat list of all the debts in the cupboard. At the time my world fell apart and a huge sense of relief came over me at the same time. I thought I was being kind concealing the truth from my husband, as he knew we had debts but not how much. Sadly he felt let down by me and deceived. It has taken a long year for me to get some trust back, but I have to say that I sleep at night now as I don't worry about him finding out and we are tackling the debts together. Since he found out I have gone on a DMP and debts that aren't in a DMP will begone by December.

My most overwhelming regret is that I wish I had done something about it sooner - it seems such a waste doesn't it, worrying about debt when it can be solved with some good money keeping.

I have subscribed to your diary as I love your enthusiasm, but I just recognised myself a little in your approach and wonder whether your debt journey would be one better shared with your husband. Saying that, this year hasn't been easy and it has at times nearly broke us, but I think I underestimated how badly deceived my husband would feel about the secret I had, when I thought I was protecting him.

I hope I don't offend you as we each make our own decisions in life, I suppose I just wish I'd make a better one!

I look forward to reading your debt free journey.

Mrs_Trouble

Hi Happy - just sat since the early hours reading your diary

I can totally empathise with your situation. I have huge debts but a much larger mortgage (!) however me and my OH both earn a lot of money and it is very much a case of keeping up appearances. Like you, we are more than aware that our second car will soon go to car heaven and we can't replace it, and our friends will wonder why etc. this year there has been no foreign holidays, no new clothes, less socialising, much less shopping at Mr T's and I am sure I can see some friends/family wondering why.....it really is a funny old world but I no longer care what people say or think my stock answer is that we are over paying the mortgage. It works.

One thing that really struck a chord is that your husband doesn't know the extent of the debt. Until March last year neither did my husband, until he found a neat list of all the debts in the cupboard. At the time my world fell apart and a huge sense of relief came over me at the same time. I thought I was being kind concealing the truth from my husband, as he knew we had debts but not how much. Sadly he felt let down by me and deceived. It has taken a long year for me to get some trust back, but I have to say that I sleep at night now as I don't worry about him finding out and we are tackling the debts together. Since he found out I have gone on a DMP and debts that aren't in a DMP will begone by December.

My most overwhelming regret is that I wish I had done something about it sooner - it seems such a waste doesn't it, worrying about debt when it can be solved with some good money keeping.

I have subscribed to your diary as I love your enthusiasm, but I just recognised myself a little in your approach and wonder whether your debt journey would be one better shared with your husband. Saying that, this year hasn't been easy and it has at times nearly broke us, but I think I underestimated how badly deceived my husband would feel about the secret I had, when I thought I was protecting him.

I hope I don't offend you as we each make our own decisions in life, I suppose I just wish I'd make a better one!

I look forward to reading your debt free journey.