Keeping up appearances.......

Honey_Bear

HappyNow wrote: »

I've come back to discover the kids have filled the cupboards with junk food and the fruit bowl is empty. So, once I have worked my way through all those Tesco chocolate muffins (should take me until 30th April) I will get right on with changing that.......

Love it! Mr Bear frequently trots off to M&S to buy 'us' treats which effectively scuppers all of my healthy eating plans (gruel etc) but it's a long time since I heard of a mother raiding their kiddies junk food stash!

I'm going to have to think carefully about Marvellous May to make it count as much as Fab Feb, Magic March and Awesome April because they've been so effective.

• Although having said that, only two fruit teas yesterday! Hopeless.
• Papers not holding too much interest for me at the moment. Good.
• Lovely lodger got stuck in Dubai and as a result arrived at about 2.45am. Devil Cat was so over-excited by all the nocturnal happenings he was pinging off the walls for about an hour and half afterwards so I got no sleep prior to her arrival, none until the cat settled down and am now a zombie.
• Flying achieved. The house looks as though we have a proper cleaner, which is amazing. I rather hope by tomorrow evening things will be back to normal.

HappyNow

Honey_Bear wrote: »

it's a long time since I heard of a mother raiding their kiddies junk food stash!
Seriously? It happens all the time here! I remember the good old days, when all the rellies used to buy them loads of chocolate at Christmas and Easter, then I'd steal it when they were in bed and they didn't know. Ah, halcyon days........
Then they got older and went to school and those pesky teachers taught them how to count, grrrr.

I'm going to have to think carefully about Marvellous May to make it count as much as Fab Feb, Magic March and Awesome April because they've been so effective.
I have already made my Magnificent May decisions. Challenging yet realistic I think (the realistic bit means I'm not going to include cleaning or exercise!)

• Flying achieved. The house looks as though we have a proper cleaner, which is amazing.

That's what I was aiming for. Fail.

I'm not even going to do an update for the last two days. I have failed at every single task, including the 'no alcohol on week nights', although it was only one glass of white wine.

My excuse is that there's lots of chaos happening here. Granny H's house sale was going through so we had it all to empty by the end of May. She's lived there 60 years, so it's a massive job. Then we heard yesterday that the sale has fallen through, so much disappointment all round. The residential home fees have to be paid from the proceeds, and until it sells she feels she is in debt and it's worrying her. Fingers crossed for another buyer soon.

I'm ready to go for May though and I'm feeling quite fired up for it.

HappyNow

So Marvellous May starts in six hours and I am READY! From 1st to 31st May I will:

• Waste no money, and be accountable for every £1 spent (via YNAB, to be balanced daily)
• Eat healthily and not excessively, which will include five portions of fruit and veg daily, and no more than one daily sugary snack
• Drink at least four glasses of water per day
• Spend between 7 and 9 hours in bed each night and NOT get up and start prowling if I can't sleep
• Keep the house tidy and progress the spring cleaning, even if only a little bit!
• Do a sit-up session each morning and night (if anyone reads this and notices that I'm not doing it, please point at my virtual flabby stomach and yell 'YOU'RE GONNA HAVE TO SHOW THAT JELLY-BELLY ON THE BEACH NEXT MONTH, NOW AB-CRUNCH', really loudly)

Hopefully Honey will be along shortly to join in, and I do keep hoping that Dolphin1 might feel like giving up/starting something too (no pressure though Dolphin if you see this, sideline-support is equally welcome ).

Right, I have six hours to binge-eat the rest of the cr*p in my fridge and then it's all systems go!

Honey_Bear

I did a bit of research into how civilians coped with the blitz a few years ago and two women told me two stories about sweet rationing which I'ved never come across anywhere else. One said they were too poor to have sweets before the war so they never missed them and she'd realised years later her mother probably sold the ration coupons. The other told me, again, that they'd never had them before the war so they didn't miss them, but she knew her mother loved them so she ate all the sweets the family should have had because their father didn't like them! You're not the first mother to steal from your kiddiewinks but how it must have hurt once yours were bright enough to work out what was going on!

HappyNow wrote: »

I'm not even going to do an update for the last two days. I have failed at every single task, including the 'no alcohol on week nights', although it was only one glass of white wine.

My excuse is that there's lots of chaos happening here. Granny H's house sale was going through so we had it all to empty by the end of May. She's lived there 60 years, so it's a massive job. Then we heard yesterday that the sale has fallen through, so much disappointment all round. The residential home fees have to be paid from the proceeds, and until it sells she feels she is in debt and it's worrying her. Fingers crossed for another buyer soon.

I'm ready to go for May though and I'm feeling quite fired up for it.

I'm surprised you stopped at one glass with Granny H's house sale hanging over you, and anyway, I don't think you committed to restricting yourself booze-wise in April so you're off the hook there, which is more than can be said for the rest of Awesome April ....

Honey_Bear

HappyNow wrote: »

So Marvellous May starts in six hours and I am READY! From 1st to 31st May I will:

• Waste no money, and be accountable for every £1 spent (via YNAB, to be balanced daily)
• Eat healthily and not excessively, which will include five portions of fruit and veg daily, and no more than one daily sugary snack
• Drink at least four glasses of water per day
• Spend between 7 and 9 hours in bed each night and NOT get up and start prowling if I can't sleep
• Keep the house tidy and progress the spring cleaning, even if only a little bit!
• Do a sit-up session each morning and night (if anyone reads this and notices that I'm not doing it, please point at my virtual flabby stomach and yell 'YOU'RE GONNA HAVE TO SHOW THAT JELLY-BELLY ON THE BEACH NEXT MONTH, NOW AB-CRUNCH', really loudly)

You have no idea how loud I can shout!


Hopefully Honey will be along shortly to join in, and I do keep hoping that Dolphin1 might feel like giving up/starting something too (no pressure though Dolphin if you see this, sideline-support is equally welcome ).

Right, I have six hours to binge-eat the rest of the cr*p in my fridge and then it's all systems go!

I am not ready for May and have not yet set my goals, so I have another few hours to think of something while you eat yourself sick. :rotfl::rotfl::rotfl:

I can't remember what I'm supposed to have been doing over the past few days as I have been dog-focussed. He's now here, calm and snoozing peacefully. The wretched car started playing up on the long drive back, so once again I thanked Mr Bear for coming with me today as he dealt with the repair man. I'd have freaked out if I'd been on my own with a new-to-me dog on board.

Coffeekup

HappyNow wrote: »

-Snip-

I have Just spent the best part of of 3 hours reading your posts in this thread although i skipped a few pages between 20-30 as i wanted to find out how things were looking now for you now and have enjoyed it very much.
I originally signed up to this forum last year but gave up posting within a few weeks of signing up. I signed up as i was £15,000 in debt myself at an early age of 23 and was hoping to give some hope and confidence to people in a situation like me a few years ago.
I congratulate you on what you have achieved so far it is a long haul no doubt about it. It took me 8 years to pay off my debts to 6 creditors.
I'll try and post on these forums more these days and give people the boost they need, but i don't have a great way with words, so i dont mean to belittle, condescend or offend people. A few things that i learned and helped me along the way to keep my head up was....

1. Its hard - don't buy stuff you want only the stuff you really need (we all should know this one, but when it boils down to it, is keeping up with the Jones's really that important?). I remeber my grandma having a flat screen T.V. before me while i was paying off my debt, but the T.V. i had was more than enough.

2. Get that first debt paid off, it may be a small one of say £200 but it is a weight off you shoulders and keeps you focused on the others. Some will say pay off your high APR first as you pay less in interest which is true, but situations like mine, yours and others we do need a boost every now and then. Nothing like the feeling of having 6 creditors one month then 5 the next.

3. Having 5 different bank accounts..... incoming money into Account 1, Household bills Acc 2, non essential bills (Loans/C.Cards/internet/sky TV/phones birthday's and Christmas's) Acc3, Savings (named breakdowns - to cover appliance breakdowns etc) Acc 4 and savings (for help paying stuff off /treats or for the future).
Example if i got paid £1000 a month into (Acc 1), and my household bills (Acc 2) were say £600 a month i pay in £630 a month just to cover early direct debits plus be on the safe side no one wants incurred fees, it would also pay out in April every year too after 2 months of no council tax and water and 12 months of £30's goin in not being used (more money for savings). Account 3's bills were £100 a month i would pay £150 so would always have enough money in there to cover birthday's, Christmas and Christmas food. Savings breakdowns (Acc4) got £30 a month as did the savings account (Acc5). So what was left in (Acc 1) was for food and activities. This helped as i know i had direct debits coming from accounts 2 and 3 and i should never need dip into them, which kept me focused on Acc 1. If i did get into trouble i knew i had account 5 to back me up on and not spend more on credit or overdraft.
I realize this may not work entirely for you, but it helped me so much over the years, i still use the same system now. I understand you are paying off debts so most or all goes on them but i personally think pay off a bit more than the minimum payments, put some into savings and say after 3 months you have £600 in savings pay £400 off which creditor/s you fancy. Which will still leave you a bit of a buffer to fall back on for unexpected happenings, (as we all know they happen)

4. Time does pass fast, your goal will come and go (just think you been tapping away on here for 3-4 years. Do the same amount again and your golden. So when it does don't sit back and relax set some new goals of say saving x amount in the first year of being debt free.

5. The hardest one of all don't lose focus. I remember being about 50-60% the way through paying it all off (about 2 and a half years left) and went off the rails and bought stuff i thought i needed on credit cards. The effect of that blip added another 2 and a half years to paying the debt off. I kicked my self at the time and i kick myself more so these days because of the interest i occurred.

In some ways now im close to 40 years I'm happy it happened, odd i know. But it taught me the value of money i will never forget. I think of all the interest i paid and then hindsight kicks in.... grrrr. I look at money and the things i buy (including food) in a totally different way these days. I wouldn't say I'm tight but I'd like to think I'm savvy.

Which leads me to a couple of questions/ideas that crossed my mind, before i leave you and wish you all the best with your plight.

1. You say your son has moved back in which is great I'm sure. Without being rude is he giving you board/rent? This could help you in paying off your debt's. Alternatively you could put they money he gives you in a new savings account and keep it there for the sole reason of helping him out with a deposit for a car/house in the future. Yes you will be taking money from him, but if you go with the latter choice it will come back to him.
2. Another idea/option crossed my mind I know it was 3 years ago but your house was valued at £300k have you thought about remortgaging it?. I realise it may not be viable but buying a 2nd rental property and paying of your unsecured debt and leaving you with just a mortgage and a rental income per month of £800+ and dump your surplus cash into paying off the mortgage or into savings. Even 3rd house then you will have £1,200+ coming in a month. If the numbers add up you could be onto having that pension you was on about from the rental properties.

Honey_Bear

You've got some really good ideas there, CoffeeKup, and well done on paying off the debts.

I've cogitated on Marvellous May and have come up with the following:

1. Spend one minute per day, cumulatively, grooming the new-to-me dog. He hates it and he has a very thick double coat, so he's got to be trained out of minding it or my vet will have to sedate him to cut out mats which was what had to be done in rescue. Unnecessary £££s that I can't afford.
2. Find affordable insurance for him which has to be done by 27 May at the latest;
3. Lose one pound of excess me. This involves not eating cheddar or Twink's Hobnobs very often, sadly, because they're my favourite foods;
4. Lights out by midnight every night;
5. Spring clean the dining room, including inside the cupboads, the drawers and the lightfitting. *yuk*

I've posted this elsethread but to save you the uncomfortable stalking feeling this is the new member of our household.

HappyNow

Coffeekup wrote: »

I have Just spent the best part of of 3 hours reading your posts in this thread and have enjoyed it very much.
Hello Coffeekup, thanks for calling in and for your lovely post
It is a long haul no doubt about it. It took me 8 years to pay off my debts to 6 creditors.
Mine will be around 8 years in total too. It IS a long-haul, you're right, so I've found it important to not let the debt become the biggest thing in my life, even though it sometimes feels like it. I hope you managed to find lots of time for fun and happiness while you were paying yours off
I don't have a great way with words, so i dont mean to belittle, condescend or offend people.
Your 'way with words' seems spot-on to me! All the diary-keepers I have come across on these boards have been truly grateful to people who take time to read, support and encourage us along the way. Reaching debt-freedom sometimes feels like a long, lonely journey - and often something we can't discuss in real life - so the support of people who understand the situation is really important.

1. Its hard - don't buy stuff you want only the stuff you really need (we all should know this one, but when it boils down to it, is keeping up with the Jones's really that important?).
That was something I really struggled with in the early days. That's why I called my diary 'Keeping Up Appearances'. It is less and less important to me nowadays, there are much more important things in life and they all tend to be free!

2. Get that first debt paid off, it may be a small one of say £200 but it is a weight off you shoulders and keeps you focused on the others. Some will say pay off your high APR first as you pay less in interest which is true, but situations like mine, yours and others we do need a boost every now and then. Nothing like the feeling of having 6 creditors one month then 5 the next.
I started here with 11 credit cards!!! Down to 5 now and I agree it is such a boost. I do focus on APR though so switch the debt about to get the cheapest rates. I know I'm lucky in that I still bizarrely have an excellent credit rating and not everyone can do that

3. Having 5 different bank accounts..... incoming money into Account 1, Household bills Acc 2, non essential bills (Loans/C.Cards/internet/sky TV/phones birthday's and Christmas's) Acc3, Savings (named breakdowns - to cover appliance breakdowns etc) Acc 4 and savings (for help paying stuff off /treats or for the future).
That's really interesting. I use YNAB, which is a brilliant piece of budgeting software, but it actually works in the way you describe. The only difference is that the money is all in one actual account, but the software splits the balance into various categories. It gives me real clarity about exactly what I have available (zero right now ) and there is no way I can overspend without knowing about it immediately.

4. Time does pass fast, your goal will come and go. Do the same amount again and your golden. So when it does don't sit back and relax set some new goals of say saving x amount in the first year of being debt free.
Absolutely. I will be looking at ways of funding an early-ish retirement

5. The hardest one of all don't lose focus.
I have lost focus a couple of times and walked away from my diary, sometimes for months at a time. I've always come back though, it's too important NOT to.
In some ways now im close to 40 years I'm happy it happened, odd i know. But it taught me the value of money i will never forget.
I'm not happy it happened, but it has most certainly taught me a life-lesson which I hope I have passed on to my kids (signs are looking good so far!)
Which leads me to a couple of questions/ideas that crossed my mind,

1. You say your son has moved back in which is great I'm sure. Without being rude is he giving you board/rent? This could help you in paying off your debt's. Alternatively you could put they money he gives you in a new savings account and keep it there for the sole reason of helping him out with a deposit for a car/house in the future. Yes you will be taking money from him, but if you go with the latter choice it will come back to him.

He does pay board - £140 monthly, which just about covers his food. I think it's really important that he accepts he has to pay his way. He's not getting it back either!

1. Another idea/option crossed my mind I know it was 3 years ago but your house was valued at £300k have you thought about remortgaging it?. I realise it may not be viable but buying a 2nd rental property and paying of your unsecured debt and leaving you with just a mortgage and a rental income per month of £800+ and dump your surplus cash into paying off the mortgage or into savings. Even 3rd house then you will have £1,200+ coming in a month. If the numbers add up you could be onto having that pension you was on about from the rental properties.

If we were younger we would have considered getting another rental or two because they are a good investment for the future. But although we've been very, very lucky with our rental house (no empty periods, always good tenants etc) I don't really want to push my luck! I'm actually looking forward to less stress/risk as we get older!

Thanks for your input, support and suggestions Coffeekup. I hope you will drop by again x

HappyNow

Honey - he is GORGEOUS!!! What a lovely smiley face!! Sounds like Devil Cat is happy with the situation too. Does he have a back-story? Sad to be in rescue at his age but I hope he now has his forever home and you all make each other very, very happy for years to come.
I re-insured our dog in January and Direct Line came out cheapest with good cover and also gave £50 cashback which has been confirmed although I've not got it yet. I did find dog insurance to be the most complicated product I've ever bought, but maybe it's just me!
I have to say your Marvellous May looks pretty easy! I will let you off because you need to focus on settling your new friend, but I note there's no mention of fruit tea or fruit and veg. Feel free to add them........:D

HappyNow

Managed to meet all my May commitments yesterday.

• Financial disaster. The car bill was £410. I am using my overdraft because it is interest/fee free up to £1000 but I hate all those red numbers spoiling my beautiful YNAB. The troughing is done too so we will get that bill in the next couple of days. The plumber didn't turn up last Wednesday as he had an emergency. I'm not going to chase him for a while. Other spends were £24 on horse food and £3.19 on yogurt, nuts and bananas.
• Excellent diet, including peaches, veg chilli, banana, peas and orange juice. Only sugary snack was two chocolate digestive biscuits. Finished off the bottle of wine from last week but there will be no more now until next Friday.
• Four glasses of water glugged
• Eight hours in bed. Slept for about six of them, irritated Mr H for the remaining two by tossing and turning
• House tidy. Its easy because Master Happy is away. He's back tomorrow. No spring cleaning but it was a full-on day at work and then had to collect car etc.
• Did two lots of sit-ups. Can't see this lasting, but I will try and keep up with it through May.