Keeping up appearances.......

Honey_Bear

Thank you, Happy Now. It was a horrible decision to make and very unsettling for everyone involved. I've learned a lot, but sad just the same.

Honey_Bear

• Stuck with three each day, which was considerably better than it would have been prior to making this commitment. My normal reaction to extreme stress was to pour in caffeine which never helped.
• Definitely an hour or less both days.
• OH had a skinfull on Friday night - his reaction to the stress in the house, and rolled in at 12.30, needing to be jolly and tell me stories for an hour or so. He's been so wonderful during the dog debacle that I couldn't naysay him, so a lot less sleep was had on Friday night. It didn't help the situation or my emotional state, so lessons learned there, as well.
• Carpet washing and rug-to-laundrette running. Stressed dogs aren't clean - if you look in the right places. I'm not bothered by clearing up after them and it's why I have a carpet washer; it's the clear indication of their state of mind that upset me so much. The rug had been needing a serious wash for more than a decade, a heavy wool thing that every animal that has ever been here has sicked or pee'd on, so that's now much cleaner than it's been for a very long time.

A year ago my coping strategy would have been caffeine and red wine and having knocked the drinking on the head, I'd noticed my coffee consumption had gradually increased to rediculous levels. This monthly commitment to slightly alter some behaviours has been so helpful. Thank you for that, as well as your kind words.

HappyNow

Honey_Bear wrote: »

This monthly commitment to slightly alter some behaviours has been so helpful.

I agree. I'm struggling to keep to all mine at the moment, but I'm doing better than I otherwise would. I have a good excuse for yesterday though!

The residential home where Granny H lives called yesterday morning to say she'd fallen, bashing her head. As it happened we were already on the drive over there for our routine visit. An ambulance was called but she refused to get in, as is her right apparently. She did let the GP call and check her over and there is nothing broken, but she feels sleepy and a bit confused. Fingers crossed she feels better today and can tell us what happened. The staff there (who are all brilliant and so kind) are keeping an especially close eye on her. Fingers crossed for her x

Honey_Bear

HappyNow wrote: »

Today's progress. Poor.

• Had to buy more horse food plus cat flea stuff. Cost £50. Needed a supermarket trip and managed to spend £57 on essentials, which sounds a lot but we were out of loads of stuff that just couldn't wait until Wednesday when we get paid. That's all on the overdraft and I hate it, but it's only temporary.
• Rubbish diet. No exercise. Tomorrow is another day.
• Spring Cleaning. Good news at last! The oven has had the clean of its life, as have the cupboards on either side of it. My rubber gloves were too big and leaked so now my hands are red and sore and smell funny. Germ-free though

I forgot to comment on your post, sorry about that. There are times when we have to dip into the overdraft, and nowadays when you do it you're not doing it in a 'I'll have to start thinking about these debts eventually ... credit card? Don't mind if I do!' kind of way which is what debt reduction is all about.

I set myself quite tight rules and don't always manage to stick to them but at least it's not mindless any more, whether it's spending, eating or drinking and longer term I'm pretty sure that's what's important in making changes to bad habits. And let's be honest, if the need for animal flea treatment is urgent, putting off buying it for a few days would result in a much bigger problem!

And you have a sparkly oven and hands which is more than I do. This Flylady salutes you!

Honey_Bear

• Drowned myself in fruit tea yesterday, drinking a couple of pots of the stuff while I was busy.
• Kept trying to read the papers on line but just couldn't concentrate.
• Switched the light out at 10.30, unheard of for me to do this so often and slept incredibly well. I like this a lot. I wake up at about 5.30, listen to the blackbirds and go back to sleep.
• Nowhere near as much Flying in the house as I should have done, but some done and I finally managed to get all the rest of the stuff planted up in the yard and on the sundeck that I needed to do. Now all I have to do is find somewhere for the tomato seedlings which are coming on nicely and pop the herbs in the her container and I'm done out there.

Haven't heard anything on the dog front and I'm beginning to see how I could have tackled things differently which is painful but helpful for the future, I hope.

Honey_Bear

Is Granny H okay, Happy?

HappyNow

Honey_Bear wrote: »

There are times when we have to dip into the overdraft, and nowadays when you do it you're not doing it in a 'I'll have to start thinking about these debts eventually ... credit card? Don't mind if I do!' kind of way which is what debt reduction is all about.

I set myself quite tight rules and don't always manage to stick to them but at least it's not mindless any more, whether it's spending, eating or drinking and longer term I'm pretty sure that's what's important in making changes to bad habits. And let's be honest, if the need for animal flea treatment is urgent, putting off buying it for a few days would result in a much bigger problem!
That's what I thought. There are some things (chocolate for example) where the more we buy, the more we consume. Flea treatment isn't like that and the consequences of NOT buying it when needed can be quite ...... itchy

And you have a sparkly oven and hands which is more than I do. This Flylady salutes you!
I'd salute you right back, but my hands would crack. Next time I read a label saying 'avoid contact with skin' I will definitely do so .

Honey_Bear wrote: »

Haven't heard anything on the dog front and I'm beginning to see how I could have tackled things differently which is painful but helpful for the future, I hope.
That old saying 'hindsight is always 20/20' is spot on. Even if (and who really knows?) you could have tackled things differently, you did the best you could with the information and experience you had at the time. And there are some things in life that just can't BE worked out, or that would take so long to work out that someone (DC in this case) would suffer. Have a massive pat on the back from me for trying, but for knowing when to accept the situation as it was, not as you'd have liked it to be.

Honey_Bear wrote: »

Is Granny H okay, Happy?

Mr H has just rung to say she's much brighter today and no after-effects from the fall. I hope I'm as tough as her at 95
Got to dash now as Mr H is almost home, but I will be back with a Awesome April update as soon as I get chance.

Honey_Bear

• Not enough fruit tea drunk.
• Probably a bit more than an hour on the papers, but not much.
• Midnight was bonging on the radio while I was thinking a myriad of things last night, doing sudoku, the way you do. It helps by reminding me, knowing that I'll turn into a pumpkin if I don't 'Snak' the light out by the time the bongs finish. So I did.
• Not a scrap of Flying.

I hate wearing rubber gloves, and despite having several pairs for doing really disgusting things like drains I'll never be comfortable working in them. What does work for me when I'm cleaning the oven is those disposable latex gloves you can get at Beee 'n' Queue for decorating - or A1d!/Id!1 sell boxes of them at half the price. *Healing vibes* for your poor hands.

Thanks, Happy. You're right - hindsight is a wonderful thing. Having said that, I think I could have tackled the whole thing more intelligently and I need to remember that when tackling new ventures in the future. Wanting to do something is not the same thing as having the necessary skills; normally I under-estimate myself, but on this occasion I over-estimated myself. But yes, I did my best and flagged it up as soon as I knew I had a problem I couldn't resolve myself.

HappyNow

Well yesterday's update didn't happen, mainly because I fell asleep on the sofa after work, then took myself straight off to bed. So by 4 am I was wide awake and lay there plotting and planning.

As is often the case, it was financial stuff on my mind, but not in a bad way, more in a 'best course of action....' way. It was because I've spent a bit of time cruising the Pensions board, trying to clue myself up on the changes. I DID learn a bit about that, but the main thing I learned was that the pension experts on there feel that some of us DFW (well, they mentioned more the MFW's, but I daresay the same principle applies) could be making a mistake and focussing on the 'wrong' goals. That instead of throwing all our money at debt/mortgage repayments, we should take a more balanced, long-term approach. That will apply more to MFWs than to DFWs, but it's something I will be bearing in mind as my debt becomes more manageable - maybe around the £20K mark? My mortgage is deliberately just left to its own devices because I claim the interest back against its rental income but I'd always assumed mortgage-freedom would be my next goal in 2019. Possibly not, and once all my debt is below 4% and at a more comfortable level, I will have a review and maybe ask for advice over there. Anyway, that's about two years away, so back to the present!

• Finances. Payday yesterday and YNAB is looking sadder than it has in months. I, however, am very upbeat about it (look -> ) because I have paid off our holiday in full, put enough money away for the parent-weekend and paid off the hole left by the vacuum cleaner. It has left this month tight to say the very least, and all my YNAB 'little pot' categories are empty, but that's very motivating and focussing. I have given Mr H the heads-up that I will be monitoring bacon-sandwich-buying very carefully and he agrees it's worth a bit of sacrifice to know the holiday is paid off. Still to find insurance, airport parking and a new cabin-sized suitcase, but I do enjoy a project!
• Healthy eating. Hmm. Let's move on to cleaning.
• Cleaning. Just general clutter-clearing yesterday, but I managed a bit more on Monday (was it Monday?) when I blitzed the dishwasher and the cupboard next to it. I quite enjoyed it. Mr H was in the lounge watching Game of Thrones and so was Miss H's boyfriend at their house. So we chatted away on Facetime in our kitchens across the miles, while she baked and I cleaned. Good fun . Apparently Game of Thrones is one of the best programmes ever made, but personally I can't cope with the blood and general gruesomeness of it, so I leave the room. I'm soft like that

HappyNow

Update time. Well really it's the middle of the night, but I just couldn't sleep so I've ended up downstairs drinking tea and fending off cats.

• Finances. Really getting my mojo back here! I have set a bank account switch in motion to earn a £125 incentive. I'm not switching my main bank account because I don't actually want to leave B$rclays, but I have an old, unused account that I'm using. The switch happens next Thursday and I should get a £125 M+S voucher within a month. That will pay for new holiday/summer clothes and lots of CAKE.
• Fridge & toiletry cupboards were completely bare so spent £79.40 at T*sco, but no other spends since payday and I used lots of vouchers
• Beach bod. Was doing OK on the eating, but celebrated the start of weekend with a Chicago Town pizza and some red wine - first wine for a week. It was lovely, but probably the reason I'm wide away at 4:15!
• Spring cleaning. Nah.

Back to bed now in the hope of getting another couple of hours.....