Some people just seem to have unlimited money

FBaby

claire16c wrote: »

How old are your kids though? Because the only thing is (apart from the point of not knowing what is going to happen tomorrow healthwise) if your kids are teens, dont you want to go to some nice places round the world with them, before they start wanting to do their own thing?

(Although Im sure if they are teens, you being their mum, are probably the most embarassing person to be seen with right now :rotfl:)

That is exactly what I would like to do indeed!!! The main issue is that OH doesn't understand this as much as although he gets along brilliant with my kids, he doesn't feel that same desire than I do. He doesn't have kids of his own, so again, it is not the same for him. He does put more in repaying the mortgage and it means a lot for him to pay it asap, so really it is about compromises.

And to be fair, I am being a bit dramatic. My kids are 9 and 11, so we do have a bit of time left to enjoy nice hols together. And it's not as if we don't do anything, but I've had the best times and memories with my kids when we've been away. They are brilliant travellers, so am particular keen to do it again. It does looks like we might be able to do something a bit more exciting this year, and I've just reminded myself that in three years time, I'll be £300 richer a month when I don't have to pay childcare any longer. It's just these horrible grey days, nothing booked yet, no plans to do so in the near future, and a bank balance that has seen better days (3 bdays 5 days apart just after Christmas!)

KiKi

robpw2 wrote: »

i disagree what muppette said is a very fair valid opinion , instead of worrying about the jones why not just live your life to the full

The OP isn't worrying about the Joneses. She is curious as to how others manage their money better, or have more things.

If someone posted on the Employment Board: "I notice that all my friends seem to get jobs really quickly, but I'm not. I don't know how they do it. Obviously I'm going wrong somewhere, but where?" The replies would be helpful, polite and telling people how to improve their prospects.

No-one would say "keep your nose out of how other people get promoted".


Similarly, on the DFW Board, no-one would tell someone else to 'ignore how other people manage their money'. Looking at other people and being curious about how they do things better is how we learn, surely!


The OP's had a hard time from some on here, unfairly, I think. She hasn't said she's desperate to keep up with the Joneses, merely asking how other people manage better (if they do). Nothing wrong with that. I've learnt so much from people on here in seeing how they do things - if I was always told to keep my nose out of other people's experiences then I'd never learn (none of us would!).

Unfortunately this board is less friendly than it used to be.

KiKi

Mupette

Spidergirl76 wrote: »

Yours wasn't an opinion, it was sheer blatant rudeness. Many have given opinions on this thread that have been useful and interesting to read. The abrupt few words that you wrote weren't an opinion, believe me!

believe me my response wasn't rude, it could be if you want it to be, but i see the truth hurts you.

Harsh yes i was. You shouldn't be worrying about what other people have or don't have, it will never make you happy. It only leads to bitterness and jealousy.

Spidergirl76

Mupette wrote: »

believe me my response wasn't rude, it could be if you want it to be, but i see the truth hurts you.

Harsh yes i was. You shouldn't be worrying about what other people have or don't have, it will never make you happy. It only leads to bitterness and jealousy.

I do hope you're not threatening me. I'm certain that that is against the rules of this forum.

Spidergirl76

Thank you for the post, Kiki

I would think that those that couldn't offer any suggestions or help would just not reply rather than make a nasty dig or an abrupt reply, and completely ignoring what I asked in my post. Still, I guess as in real life there are always some that set out to be unkind and to put the boot in when there is no need. At least there seem to be plenty of you that truly get what I was trying to say and have been constructive and interesting with your posts.

claire16c

FBaby wrote: »

That is exactly what I would like to do indeed!!! The main issue is that OH doesn't understand this as much as although he gets along brilliant with my kids, he doesn't feel that same desire than I do. He doesn't have kids of his own, so again, it is not the same for him. He does put more in repaying the mortgage and it means a lot for him to pay it asap, so really it is about compromises.

And to be fair, I am being a bit dramatic. My kids are 9 and 11, so we do have a bit of time left to enjoy nice hols together. And it's not as if we don't do anything, but I've had the best times and memories with my kids when we've been away. They are brilliant travellers, so am particular keen to do it again. It does looks like we might be able to do something a bit more exciting this year, and I've just reminded myself that in three years time, I'll be £300 richer a month when I don't have to pay childcare any longer. It's just these horrible grey days, nothing booked yet, no plans to do so in the near future, and a bank balance that has seen better days (3 bdays 5 days apart just after Christmas!)

That is a lot of birthdays! Well £300 a month better off you can certainly start booking holidays that year so I dont think you need to hold off til 2020! And yes the winter is a great motivator for saving money and booking a holiday you can start counting down to.

Maybe you could take the kids somewhere yourself this year if your OH isnt bothered about going, and save the money on not paying for his ticket and hed be happy for you to do that?

Im in my late 20s now, and like you say, some of the best memories have been of trips away with my parents. I will remember those more than any xmas or birthday presents!

MarilynMonroe_2

Bluemeanie wrote: »

I suspect it is on credit, or they are using all their income and not saving or OP etc. All a question of priorities I suppose.

A colleague of mine and his partner appeared to have this kind of lifestyle, then he went for an IVA, it transpired they owed his Mum £30k etc. They still haven't learned. Where as I earn a decent wage for my age/area, only drive an 03 plate, have a cheap house etc and poor every penny into my mortgage as I do not rate materialistic things so much at the minute. We had even cut back to not going on holiday, but changed that one. Decided we go to work all year we deserve a break. I currently op £511 a month and save £100 a month. I could easily start buying better clothes, get my kitchen done up etc.

My Wedding cost £3k all told (luckily I have lovely parents who paid) but that is the most I would have paid myself. I was even going to have a dress out of Debenhams, except Husband's Mum made it for me, where as another couple I know, once had to keep their kid in a dirty nappy all day as they "had no money", yet she has all designer stuff, brand new cars, £10k on a wedding that they had to get a loan out for.

Yes some of the suggestions above are possible, but I would guess 9 times out of 10 it is either debt or they are using every penny on spending.

I know someone like that. Didnt have money for nappies for their kid but went on holidays and drank all the time, bloody awful

I am sure from the outside I might look like I've got a bob or two, which I havnt, but I dont smoke, drink or go out, dont pay for sky tv etc, I dont buy books or anything for myself much, I bought myself my first pair of shoes this year in many many years!... so for what I do have there are many sacrifices behind it.

I also get compliments on what dd is wearing and a woman remarked the other day about how dear kids clothes are and her coat was lovely... I just nodded in agreement but faileld to mention I only paid £3.50 for her coat and her clothes probably £2
Illusion... all illusion!

Mupette

Spidergirl76 wrote: »

I do hope you're not threatening me. I'm certain that that is against the rules of this forum.

I'm not threatening anyone.
Unless you feel that i have done so please do show me.
And as i have said i haven't threatened anyone so i have broken no rules.

It is a forum for all the world to see and reply to. I wonder how these people feel knowing your telling the world their business.

Spidergirl76

Mupette wrote: »

I'm not threatening anyone.
Unless you feel that i have done so please do show me.
And as i have said i haven't threatened anyone so i have broken no rules.

It is a forum for all the world to see and reply to. I wonder how these people feel knowing your telling the world their business.

I think your posts are very unpleasant and rude. There is no point in you replying to any more of my posts as I will not be replying to you again.

KiKi

Mupette wrote: »

Harsh yes i was. You shouldn't be worrying about what other people have or don't have, it will never make you happy. It only leads to bitterness and jealousy.

But your response wasn't in proportion to her original post. She didn't say she was worrying. She didn't say she was unhappy.

She didn't say "I hate that everyone has what I can't, I'm so miserable and unhappy, please help me".

She said "This is how I see other families living their lives, so I must be going wrong somewhere - how do they do it, and how can I do better?"

The posts that say "it's none of your business" are not proportional. They suggest that she shouldn't learn how to do better, or be informed about how other people manage.

If someone posted "I'm in debt but I see others aren't, how can I do better?" would you say "stop worrying about others?" Of course not - you'd make constructive suggestions from your own experience and the experience and observations of others.

Just because she's not in debt it doesn't mean she can't learn or ask how to manage better. How would we learn if we don't ask?

KiKi