Basic divorce advice desperately needed please.

pmlindyloo

I am wondering whether the Family Mediation Service may be of help in this situation? They can help you draw up an agreement about finances etc and although this would not be legally binding I believe that you can have it formalised by a solicitor.

I am not suggesting that you won't need a solicitor at some stage just respecting your wish that you would like this done as amicably as possible (and trying to save you some money!)

Google Family Mediation Services to find your nearest one.

marywooyeah

DUTR wrote: »

Your draft may not be valid in law, get an half hour consultation with a brief to be sure, it should/may work out all well, not sure if adultery is grounds for divorce anymore

a brief is a Barrister - you'd be hard pushed to get a minute free out of them let alone half hour!

OP get down to a Family Law Solicitor. another poster mentioned Mediation, a solicitor can refer you to mediation to reach an agreement and you turn out to be eligible for legal aid a referral is made as it is a pre-requisite to getting public funding.

There's nothing wrong with drafting an agreement between yourselves if you both agree. The problem you would encounter in the event of a dispute is proving that the agreement contained intention to create legal relations as you are both still married. This could be somewhat counteracted by including the phrase "both parties intend this document to create legal relations" but it could still be open to dispute in Court.

marywooyeah

WelshRugbFan99 wrote: »

Sorry but you are playing with fire - after being married for 7 years and despite her alleged adultery technically she is probably entitled to 50% of all liquid assets and 7 years of pension build up - get legal advice asap however be prepared for a costly exercise...

Sitting back and expecting things to remain amicable will comeback and bit you...

may I ask how you have formed this conclusion?

Inforapennyinforapound

bumping because i am so hurting and welcome any advice

yesican

Im sorry but is gaining UK Nationality not enough?????????Thanks to you,she CAN stay in this country!-What more does she want??-Its YOUR money!

Inforapennyinforapound

Yes i tend to agree with that.

I am frightened of the loneliness tbh.I always think that women cope better than men and i do know that women understand these isuues better than men and are good at advice.

I dont know if i am so hurt over the loss more than the loneliness and the chances of meeting another

curlytop12

Inforapennyinforapound wrote: »

Yes i tend to agree with that.

I am frightened of the loneliness tbh.I always think that women cope better than men and i do know that women understand these isuues better than men and are good at advice.

I dont know if i am so hurt over the loss more than the loneliness and the chances of meeting another

it is horrible to lose the one you love.i felt sad,angry,resentful,jealous.i mourned for the life i had looked forward to,and felt that i had had my dreams stolen.please turn to your friends and family,you need people who love you around,and...it does get better!with time of course,you have to heal.

it helped me loads,getting the divorce and finances sorted,buying my new little home,being in control at last.

good luck.

Inforapennyinforapound

Just bumping again for some friendly thoughts and advice.

I have been suffering with very severe bouts of mood changes and emotions the last couple of days.Worried over loneliness and not sleeping/eating.

I know she wont return (except to collect some stuff in a few days when we will have to talk and hope emotions dont cloud our judgements)

I have a couple of issues really.Is it best to start divorce proceedings asap or leave it awhile? Secondly i dont have an address for her as she has moved in with her lover so how could i possibly get papers served anyway? I am led to believe that she will find a flat temporarily so i may have an address eventually.

Its very difficult emotionally not knowing her whereabouts but she knows i am not a violent person and does not need to worry.

I dont know if she reads these forums,and i guess she knows my username,but if she does i have not said anything bad about her.Just very very upset how all this happened,the deceit etc.That really hurts.And the fact that she thinks she was too good for me..........

CH27

Make an appointment to see a solicitor & then decide what you want/need to do.

BitterAndTwisted

Take action. Inaction and fretting about the situation is probably making it worse for you. Your financial separation needs to be of a piece with the divorce.

As you've been married for a while all assets of the marriage are considered joint-assets. The starting position for negotiation regardless of who brought what and who contributed what during the marriage will be 50/50. You can come to an agreement about a different percentage if you want to. All it takes is to reach a mutual agreement and have it drawn up legally to protect both of you from disputes later on. Do not contemplate doing this yourself.

Please see a Family Law Solicitor as soon as you can.

If you are still on friendly terms it should not be difficult to have an address for you to communicate with her. You'll need one to serve the divorce papers if she's unwilling to go to your solicitor's offices to sign them