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Need impartial advice

2

Comments

  • emweaver
    emweaver Posts: 8,419 Forumite
    edited 26 December 2011 at 7:33PM
    Deleted thanks to the usual friendly replies, some people are so spiteful!
    Wins so far this year: Mum to be bath set, follow me Domino Dog, Vital baby feeding set, Spiderman goody bag, free pack of Kiplings cakes, £15 love to shop voucher, HTC Desire, Olive oil cooking spray, Original Source Strawberry Shower Gel, Garnier skin care hamper, Marc Jacobs fragrance.
  • emweaver
    emweaver Posts: 8,419 Forumite
    edited 26 December 2011 at 7:33PM
    Deleted thanks to the usual friendly replies, some people are so spiteful!
    Wins so far this year: Mum to be bath set, follow me Domino Dog, Vital baby feeding set, Spiderman goody bag, free pack of Kiplings cakes, £15 love to shop voucher, HTC Desire, Olive oil cooking spray, Original Source Strawberry Shower Gel, Garnier skin care hamper, Marc Jacobs fragrance.
  • emweaver
    emweaver Posts: 8,419 Forumite
    edited 26 December 2011 at 7:33PM
    Deleted thanks to the usual friendly replies, some people are so spiteful!
    Wins so far this year: Mum to be bath set, follow me Domino Dog, Vital baby feeding set, Spiderman goody bag, free pack of Kiplings cakes, £15 love to shop voucher, HTC Desire, Olive oil cooking spray, Original Source Strawberry Shower Gel, Garnier skin care hamper, Marc Jacobs fragrance.
  • Torry_Quine
    Torry_Quine Posts: 18,894 Forumite
    Part of the Furniture 10,000 Posts Photogenic Name Dropper
    I have to say that I can see your mum's point of view. This must have been a large debt to still be paying it back after so long and that part of it was for your wedding means it wasn't even essential. Yes your children will get less presents but at least some more of the debt is paid off.

    Sorry if that sounds harsh but your mother did you a huge favour by helping out like this and will no doubt be no happier than you how things are at the moment.
    Lost my soulmate so life is empty.

    I can bear pain myself, he said softly, but I couldna bear yours. That would take more strength than I have -
    Diana Gabaldon, Outlander
  • MandM90
    MandM90 Posts: 2,246 Forumite
    Part of the Furniture 1,000 Posts Name Dropper Combo Breaker
    emweaver wrote: »
    I havent got her a present, I bought her 2 presents for her birthday and mothers day, one off me and one of the girls. She didnt get me anything for my birthday or dh for his 30th.

    :huh: You, a presumeably thirty-something, are annoyed at her not getting you/your husband gifts when she's lent you however many thousands and is letting you pay it over what looks like it'll be about twelve years...

    Maybe when she said "pay it back when you can" she didn't expect it being this long.

    Also as Torry Quine says, I'd just be glad to get some of the debt off. Unless you make a big fuss of it I doubt your kids will remember it for very long, and it sounds to me like you need to have a chat about what her repayment expectations are.
  • meer53
    meer53 Posts: 10,217 Forumite
    Tenth Anniversary 10,000 Posts Combo Breaker
    I think you're making excuses. Your children won't notice they haven't been given presents from their Granny, especially if there are other children there too. Like another poster has said, wrap something up yourself and say it's from your Mum. The 1 year old won't notice thats for sure !
    After Xmas, why not sit down with your Mum and talk about what you're going to do going forward and clear the air with her ? She's obviously just as annoyed at the situation as you are, it doesn't matter whether she needs to money or not, she's obviously quite careful with hers and maybe wants you to be the same ?
  • emweaver
    emweaver Posts: 8,419 Forumite
    edited 26 December 2011 at 7:34PM
    Deleted thanks to the usual friendly replies, some people are so spiteful!
    Wins so far this year: Mum to be bath set, follow me Domino Dog, Vital baby feeding set, Spiderman goody bag, free pack of Kiplings cakes, £15 love to shop voucher, HTC Desire, Olive oil cooking spray, Original Source Strawberry Shower Gel, Garnier skin care hamper, Marc Jacobs fragrance.
  • emweaver
    emweaver Posts: 8,419 Forumite
    edited 26 December 2011 at 7:34PM
    Deleted thanks to the usual friendly replies, some people are so spiteful!
    Wins so far this year: Mum to be bath set, follow me Domino Dog, Vital baby feeding set, Spiderman goody bag, free pack of Kiplings cakes, £15 love to shop voucher, HTC Desire, Olive oil cooking spray, Original Source Strawberry Shower Gel, Garnier skin care hamper, Marc Jacobs fragrance.
  • emweaver
    emweaver Posts: 8,419 Forumite
    MandM90 wrote: »
    :huh: You, a presumeably thirty-something, are annoyed at her not getting you/your husband gifts when she's lent you however many thousands and is letting you pay it over what looks like it'll be about twelve years...

    Maybe when she said "pay it back when you can" she didn't expect it being this long.

    Also as Torry Quine says, I'd just be glad to get some of the debt off. Unless you make a big fuss of it I doubt your kids will remember it for very long, and it sounds to me like you need to have a chat about what her repayment expectations are.

    No I am not old Im only in my mid 20s
    Wins so far this year: Mum to be bath set, follow me Domino Dog, Vital baby feeding set, Spiderman goody bag, free pack of Kiplings cakes, £15 love to shop voucher, HTC Desire, Olive oil cooking spray, Original Source Strawberry Shower Gel, Garnier skin care hamper, Marc Jacobs fragrance.
  • Torry_Quine
    Torry_Quine Posts: 18,894 Forumite
    Part of the Furniture 10,000 Posts Photogenic Name Dropper
    emweaver wrote: »
    She didnt say back it back when you can she said pay it back monthly at a rate of . . . . a month.

    However you haven't been paying it back at .... a month and thereby lies the problem.
    Lost my soulmate so life is empty.

    I can bear pain myself, he said softly, but I couldna bear yours. That would take more strength than I have -
    Diana Gabaldon, Outlander
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