Need impartial advice

emweaver

Deleted thanks to the usual friendly replies, some people are so spiteful!

lindelou

Hi,

i am sorry to hear of your predicament and cannot believe your mum would do such a spiteful thing to children.
Can you re-negotiate with your mum a figure you can afford to show you are willing to do whatever it takes to put things right.
I would be tempted to buy extra presents myself to make amends.

hope it all works out and have a good xmas xx

Linda

emweaver

Deleted thanks to the usual friendly replies, some people are so spiteful!

katiecoodle

i can understand you're going to feeling dreadful when your kids don't get a present from their nan, but their cousins do. But you can't do anything about it. I'd have a ready excuse to save your kids feelings, something like "nan gave me some money towards the present I got you/tree/dinner." and tell them in advance so they're not expecting anything from her... Of course, this saves your mums feelings too which isn't ideal, but at least the kids won't get upset.

emweaver

Deleted thanks to the usual friendly replies, some people are so spiteful!

emweaver

Deleted thanks to the usual friendly replies, some people are so spiteful!

cbrown372

so how long should your mother wait until you pay her back as its obviously been longer than 6 years?

emweaver

Deleted thanks to the usual friendly replies, some people are so spiteful!

kingfisherblue

While I don't think your mum is acting very nicely towards your children, I can see her point that the debt needs paying. Regardless of how long ago you borrowed the money, you are now paying it back at a lower amount per month than you first agreed. Your mum could have bought a few bits from the pound shop so that your children have something to open from her, but she hasn't.

Is this her way of trying to make you see that she does need the money repaying at the same rate that you first agreed? Could your mum be struggling for money? Or is she trying to teach you not to borrow if you can't afford to repay?

Have you spent a lot on your children for Christmas, and this is her way of showing disapproval at your budgeting skills?

I can understand that you are hurt by your mum's actions, but you need to do domething to build bridges and try to repair your relationship. Can you cut back in your weekly or monthly budget anywhere? Or earn a bit extra money - ebay, car boot sales, mystery shopping, etc? If you can sit down with your mum after christmas and explain that you were hurt by her actions, but acknowledge that the loan is taking longer than fist expected to pay off, and show her how you are trying to repay a bit extra, hopefully you will both understand each other a bit more.

I do hope that you can sort things out - I doubt if either of you are happy with the situation as it stands.

purple.sarah

That's not fair because it sounds like she is just doing it to make a point, not because she can't afford presents. TBH I wouldn't want to go to her house whether or not I was welcome and put the kids through seeing their cousins open presents from her when they don't get anything. I wouldn't buy her a present either. It's sad when money comes between family. She might need it repaying but bringing the kids into it is not right. Hopefully you will be able to negotiate the repayments with her when things have calmed down after Christmas

Barneysmom

I'm trying to see your mom's point of view.
You've got internet, computer, a car, but you don't pay your debts.
How do you know your mom doesn't need that money?

You could've got something from the cheap shop or market for your 6 year old and said it was from her, why didn't you?

Your children can be taught that material things aren't important, not as important as love and family.

I don't know why you're so annoyed, it's your debt.