10 months in and 90 left to go ... the reality is starting to kick in :)

elantan

It's weird isn't it how were expected to forgive family members ( sometimes) when the reality is that those family members wouldn't treat a stranger in the same way they treat a "loved one" if my mothers idea of showing me love was her behaving the way she did ... Well then I am much better off without her affection

Incidently I am well aware not all families are like this in fact I hope it's in the minority rather than the norm or majority

skint_spice

That was the point I made El, I wouldn't put up with a friend or colleague acting the way she did but was supposed to accept it cos "it's just her"? Life is way too short for putting up with such nonsense!

elantan

Yep exactly skinty ... I feel the same didn't mean to sound as if I was being an a£$

rising_from_the_ashes

mmm this is a bit errr odd for me - basically I have a very small family (me, DM & DF).

On DFs side there is actually a huge family of cousins etc that I've never even met as there was a big falling out - in my Granny's era so my DF doesn't even know his cousins, let alone me knowing anyone of my generation.

It's really sad in a way ... but then I hear about the hassles families cause and think that I couldn't be a*rsed to put up with all of that so maybe I'm better off without them.

DMs side, again there's a huge network of extended family (I know when we used to go someone would speak to us and DM would say, that's your grandad's cousin's son etc) but, again, I don't know them.

I remember going to college & there was a girl in my class who told me she was my cousin and I'd never met her / even knew she existed!:eek:

It would be nice to have had the choice myself tho' IYKWIM:(

elantan

Yes having the choice is really what matters, I'm happy with my decision but have never stopped son talking to them for eg ... He chooses not to have anything to do with them but that's more due to the fact of the way he has been treated rather than my issues

I think the saying there is nowt weirder than family has some merit

I wouldn't feel too bad about not knowing your cousin rising ... I have walked right past a brother and didn't know it was him ( hubby said oi el isn't that xxxx ... I said who ? He said your brother ... I replied nah ... It was )

I've also had a sister sit right next to me and have had a convo with her and didn't know who she was

rising_from_the_ashes

elantan wrote: »

I have walked right past a brother and didn't know it was him ( hubby said oi el isn't that xxxx ... I said who ? He said your brother ... I replied nah ... It was )

I've also had a sister sit right next to me and have had a convo with her and didn't know who she was

Ohhh I've done that one - walked right past my DMs brother and didn't realise it was him!

It's just .... sad tho' .....

Butti

El, I find you not recognising your your brother both sad and amusing . Is that wrong?

elantan

Not wrong at all me dear ... It is both sad and amusing, sad in the sense that this is my full blood brother ( and sister... I didn't recognise her either) and very sad that I have seen them maybe three times in the last 20 years or so ( they all moved to another country years ago)

Amusing in that just the obsurdity of not recognising someone you lived with for years lol

taxi73

know the feeling as don't talk to my mum/stepdad and family and haven't done for years and never will..the relationship was so toxic it can never be healed due to my being abused

elantan

Mr el had decided that we just "must" get new blinds for the bedroom , I could see his reasoning why but I felt we could've maybe saved the money over a two month period but he insisted

So yesterday we went out to buy a blind, I double checked with him that that is what he wanted and explained we didn't really have the money, he didn't care too much about that he wanted a new blind

So .... We have a new blind and £20 left of fun money for the month, he wasn't too happy when I told him it was the fun money but I said well where else can it come from ? Where else do we have wiggle room ?

I sometimes feel like I'm his mother ... Grrrrrr