How do I get them to throw stuff out?

Brighton_belle

It won't be easy OP, as excessive belongings/clutter is always tied in to our emotions and some form of deep seated anxiety. Most of us hang on to too much/own too much at some level. Many people with too much stuff aren't happy with how things are but don't know where to begin - the problem feels too overwhelming.

There are some good books available on de cluttering and websites; you could start looking at them as a prelude to discussing it more with your DW.
She may not be happy with the state of the house either, but feel paralysed by her in ability to let go of stuff.
A soft gentle approach is best, perhaps starting with stuff that feels easy for her. That way, she feels in control so the fear will be less inhibiting. It also builds confidence, if she 'survives' that and gives satisfaction of achievement that can fuel building up to the slightly more difficult stuff.
The second issue, is not just clearing out, but stopping the flow of stuff coming in.
The receipts thing may also be part of just being unorganised, after all, we do need to keep certain recepits for a lngth of time, butif she has no system of accounting/money mangement it all decends onto chaos.

It helps to break clutter down into different types too - such as:

• hanging on to who you used to be (old hobbies/lifestyle stuff) that you haven't acknowledged is who you are now.
• Stuff that 'might come in useful one day' (but virtually never does, or you can get hold of such an item at the time when you need it).
• Then there is sentimental stuff - so and so gave me that and we are afraid our memories won't exist without physical reminders of this gift/ event memorabila, except of course, they do and will. Or it seems 'disrespectful' to get rid of aunty ada's hideous set of drawers that she loved even though you hate the sight of them...
• aspirational stuff - things you aspire to (like unfinished creative projects) that have hung round for years.

Hope some of this helps. Understanding the psychology of clutter will help you help your wife and yourself.
I can direct you to more websights/books if it wouldhelp: PM me if you want that.

scheming_gypsy

sooz wrote: »

Watch the worst hoarder on tonight with her.

Every time the hoarder comes on TV, just say 'that's you that is'

DVardysShadow

mambo69 wrote: »

... sadly my wife takes after her dad where everything is kept, i found a bag of receipts last week from 2007/8!

Receipts are useful. You should keep them for 6 years, as it is only after 6 years that you can no longer be chased. If hey are bagged in years, then they are easy enough to manage.

Errata

All the emergency services have hilarious tales to tell about extracting people from cluttered houses. Especially the paramedics :rotfl:

fluffpot

My neighbours house burnt down a few years ago and the fire brigade said that they were hampered in their efforts to lessen the damage because of the amount of stuff in the house. Luckily my neighbour wasn't in the house at the time, but I dread to think... Would mentioning this help your missus to see that her junk could be a dangerous thing?

He's just had it all done up brand new on the insurance and guess what..... somehow he;s managed to fill it up with crap again. Its definitely a metal health issue.

victory

There is a prog on the tele coming up about this, the hoarder man has never ever thrown anything out and he has two houses and garages full of his stuff, wow, he says all he does is exist not live, show your OH the show and make her see it is not necessary to hoard and others will benefit from her generous donation to charity:D

poorly_scammo

My dad's like this. One thing which worked for him was moving house as he realised how much junk he'd acquired.

Deciding what to keep and what to chuck out was enormously stressful for him. He wanted to hang on to stuff like rusty screws which had no use. He's definitely an anxious person - very acquisitive and possessive and doesn't like to let go of anything.

Caroline73_2

Jody started a similar thread earlier in the week. Lots of useful advice on there from people in a similar situation as yourself.