Please help - debt problems

Debt147

I was thinking of going to the CAB, it might be a good plan for me to see someone face to face to talk about the options rather than filling in forms online/over the phone - doesn't seem quite the same somehow

I think I will DVD tart or just give those up, they come in handy for nights in (having plenty of them now to save cash!!!) but sure we could do without them, it all mounts up over the year

The good news is I'm feeling more positive now, I know it's going to be tough but I know I can get out of this mess if I try hard enough, I've been living beyond my means now for too long

I think half the problem (apart from the gambling) was the shock of how expensive everything is when you move away from 'home.' Have only had my house for 3 years and it's all been more expensive than expected after paying mum and dad a very small amount and all my food etc included!!!

Everyone has posted some really good advice which I am going to have a proper think about, the sooner I get some sort of plan of action the better

Any more advice greatly appreciated of course!

Debt147

Just thought I'd give you all an update on my situation:

I got turned down for the consolidation loan, had major panic first of all, then thought perhap it was a blessing in disguise given the advice I'd received from many of you about consolidation loans not addressing the real issues etc.

So had a chat with my Mum and Dad, poured my heart out a bit (had lots of tears) about how I was feeling, the worry I had over this debt etc and they have come up with an action plan for me - Dad is going to lend me £7k which will pay the entire balance of the Virgin credit card which I have just started paying interest on. I will keep the £12k loan I have with Virgin and continue paying that off at a rate of £250 per month. I have another credit card which I owe £3k on plus overdraft of approx £1200. I will transfer the overdraft to my 0% egg card (it's 0% for another approx 6 months).

Dad has agreed to help me to budget, he's going to have access to my bank statements etc for the new few months so he can see if there are any areas I'm still overspending on.

The other big news - when I got home because I felt I now had a way forward, a plan of action if you like, I decided to take the plunge and confess to my fiance that I had been a fool, I told him about the gambling, the mess I'd got into but that I had a way forward. He was disappointed in me needless to say but we're ok, have agreed we'll stay in more, will budget more when it comes to buying groceris etc and most importantly we WILL get through it. I feel like I have nothing to hide now, no guilty secrets to drive a wedge between us.

So, I'm feeling more in control now and a lot happier. I know it's going to take a long time to get myself debt free but it'll be worth it in the end. I'm not tempted to go gambling, I know how many people I'd be letting down and I think if I can get used to budgeting, with some help, I'll learn from this.

Does anyone have any advice to offer? Do you think I have done the right thing?

CLAPTON

think very carefully before borrowing from your father. can he afford to write the money off if you found you couldn't pay it. remember he would be down at the bottom of the pile of creditors if things go wrong.
have you worked out a new SOA taking into account that OH now knows the full situation?

Debt147

Hi Clapton

Thanks for replying, I really appreciate everything you have said, I always find your comments very wise.

My Dad took early retirement a couple of years ago, he's actually working again now (got bored sitting at home!) so has a regular income on top of his company pension so his financial situation is comfortable. The £7k is part of some spare money he has in a separate bank account for 'a rainy day' so there's no problem with him being able to afford it and he's happy to be flexible with how I pay the money off. He is loaning me this amount rather than everything he has in the said account because naturally he needs to have fall back money just incase another rainy day does arise and besides, why should he loan me everything. I am grateful that he is doing this for me because I didn't ask or expect him to do it and although I'll pay him back every penny I owe it means I'm not going to be in a mad panic if I find that I can't afford the minimum payment.

It's still going to be hard paying back everything but I think that it's better to do it this way rather than getting a loan to cover everything, I think previous advice has been correct, there's always the temptation to go back to old spending habits. I have agreed I'll keep a spreadsheet of my incomings and outgoings, which my Dad wants to see for a period of a few months, he also wants to see bank statements etc so he can keep an eye on me.

I get paid this weekend, which also ties in with my credit card bills coming in so as soon as I have these I will do an updated SOA and no doubt ask for more money saving advice from you and the other helpful people on these boards