Please help - debt problems

Debt147

I earn £19,500 per year but yes I take your point and perhaps you're right.

So do you think I'm better just paying off the debts as I am at the moment (I am meeting the minimum payments and can cut down on things such as mobile bill, perhaps sell some stuff on ebay etc) and review things after a few months?

I know I have been irresponsible gambling but we all do stupid things, whether it's having a huge blow on a car we can't afford, drinking, buying clothes etc, particularly when life is not going according to plan - well when does life ever go according to plan really. I also know I have let myself and my partner down and believe me when I think of that it doesn't make me happy.

CCCS have suggested a DMP but I notice the affect it has on a person's credit rating because the minimum payments I'd be making would be lower than what I pay at the moment and that concerns me as my credit rating is currently good.

Debt147

I have just thought of another way I could free up some money each month but I'm not sure it's the right thing to do, any advice would be appreciated

I currently pay approx £90 of my wages straight into my employers contributory pension scheme. I wondered if I should come out of that for perhaps a year or two and use the money to help clear my debts?

I'm 27 so obviously not going to be retiring in the near future but even so, it's a good scheme

CLAPTON

just a few things


on the pension front, check very carefully about whether you can rejoin, whether there any other benefits you gain (often things like sickness beneifits or accident insurance or death benefits etc ).
almost bear in mind that the 90 will be taxed and you will probably pay more NI so think 60 rather than 90.

unfortunately at the current time you have rather restricted your options, by not wanting to tell OH presumably this means you can't look at (say) interest only mortgage or mortgage payment holiday for a period, by doing the part time degree you rule out part time jobs etc.

although i think that your level of debt is very high, if your credit record is otherwise good, then an application for a LOB CC or a loan wouldn't adversely affect your credit rating.

Storm

Have you actually stopped gambling completely now (including things like the lottery?)

My first advice would be to contact Gamblers Anonymous and go along to a local meeting - everyone there will be in the same position in terms of having to tell family, working out how to pay off the debts etc.

My second advice is to have a look at the snowball calculator on https://www.whatsthecost.com - put in all your debts with aprs, minimum payments & how much you can afford to put against them each month and it will give you an idea of how long it will take to clear them.

If you're doing a degree (through the OU I'm guessing) are you entitled to any student loans or grants? If you could get a student loan for even a small amount it will clear a chunk off your cards and be at a much lower interest rate.

Congrats on facing up to your debt & gambling, and I wish you the best of luck with clearing it

Debt147

With my pension it's not a problem me rejoining but yes I have checked and it does include life insurance. Obviously I'm hoping that I won't die in the near future but the life insurance is a good thing to have as naturally it would help my family/partner if the worst did happen. Like you say also by the time I was taxed on the amount it wouldn't give me that much extra.

I am considering Gamblers Anonymous at the moment, have been honest with my Mum and a close friend and admitted I have a problem so am going to see how I cope with their support but if I feel this isn't enough I will go to a local meeting. I'm also looking into counselling in general because obviously I have the underlying issues which made me start gambling in the first place.

I have now applied for a loan and will see how the application goes - I have taken advice posted on here and not revealed the reasons behind my debt. I have decided I need to keep a spreadsheet to monitor my spending on a daily basis. Do others do this?

I am seriously thinking about telling my partner, I'm scared but it might be what I need to keep me on the straight and narrow. He is excellent at budgeting (part of the reason I'm so ashamed to tell him what I have done) but I'm sure he would support me.

I will look in the house tonight to see what I can get selling on ebay

mrslawrence2003

Debt147 wrote:

Hi All

Thanks to all of you that have replied so far, some really good advice. Definitely I agree the Dorothy Perkins card has got to go straight away, then like you say it's one thing gone.

With regards to my gambling, yes you're completely right it is an addiction. I have spoken to my Mum and a close friend of mine and that is something that is now going to be addressed with the help and support from them. I have only just admitted to myself that it is an addiction, mainly because I've realised I don't actually enjoy it, in fact it makes me miserable and I do now genuinely want to stop before it gets worse. I have now gone 3 days without gambling, not long I know but for me it's fantastic.

I think once I have got my debts more manageable I will feel more confident speaking to my partner, I suppose I don't want to go to him with the problems and no solutions.

I just don't know where to start with getting my debts sorted. I have a loan with Virgin already which is £12k, I don't know whether to see if I can loan the rest I owe to consolidate everything or whether I should approach my bank (Natwest) to see if they can help me but then if I consolidate everything I think Virgin will charge for early repayment of the loan? I am planning on telling them (whoever I approach regarding a loan) how I have got into the debt - is this wise?

well that's a very positive start - good on you.

as regards your partner - i had a 'problem' that i thought i could not possible tell my husband as if i did he would a/ leave me b/ hate me c/ remove me from his life d/ disappoint him etc etc. i kept saying to myself, once i have a solution and i'm resolving the problem, then i'll tell him. well, in the end, i couldnt resolve the problem and i just had to tell him. much to my enormous surprise i am still happily married, my husband does not hate me and in fact has been helping me immensely.

each situation is different, of course. but you're not alone in your fears, and sometimes things can work out much better than you would think.

Debt147

Thanks for sharing that with me Mrslawrence, I do know deep down that he wouldn't leave me or hate me even though my head keeps telling me he would, I suppose it's just scary because I know how much I've let him down and it just seems to be one thing after another at the moment. Then again surely no matter how much this debt is scary and upsetting it's nothing compared to what we went through, and have been going through, since his dad died.

I have now felt able to share my entire situation with my brother, I chose to tell him because he got himself into a large amount of debt about 18 months ago and is doing really well with paying it back so thought he could give me some advice/support which he has done.

I'm waiting to hear still if my loan has been accepted. If it hasn't I will go to see my own bank but I will take the advice on here and not tell them about how I have got myself into this mess.

I'm feeling a bit more positive today, I think the fact I have admitted I have a problem and want to get myself sorted is a big step. As previously mentioned I am doing a Uni degree as well as working full time, well I went to Uni last night and picked up some leaflets on counselling. I've also asked my boss if I can speak to her tomorrow as I have always been able to talk to her about anything and know she won't judge me, despite the fact I'm ashamed to admit I have gambled online in works time.

creditwreck

Hi there- just want to show my support.
I had my light bulb moment 15th Jan this year, called cccs that day too -start dmp march this year, was going to keep it secret from OH as could not bear to admit that I was in such a bad way with my debts. I came clean with my new husband of 2 months on the 17th Jan, that I had been struggling with debt for 9 years......I expected divorce, recriminations, negativeness (I make him sound awful!)

He held my held my hand, hugged me, told me he still loves me and no he did not want to divorce me....and has offered to help me....although I am standing firm about it being my problem, and I would like to see it through by myself. But at least everything is not a big secret......

Hardest thing is facing your problem, second hardest is sharing it with those people you care about.....picking up the phone to the CCCS is the one the best decisions I have ever made next to cutting up my credit cards.
Good luck, it's good to know that we are not alone!

steve700

creditwreck wrote:

He held my held my hand, hugged me, told me he still loves me and no he did not want to divorce me....and has offered to help me....although I am standing firm about it being my problem, and I would like to see it through by myself. But at least everything is not a big secret......

Just my tuppenny worth but if your husband can afford to help you a little, and more importantly would like to, could you not accept it?

I know if I was in his situation although I would be proud that my partner was dealing with things, it would still be nice to help her if I can (and it would be as much about me feeling part of the relationship - good and bad - as it would be for her).

Good Luck

Debt147

Creditwreck thanks for sharing that with me that is really reassuring

A friend has suggested I tell my partner and get the debts put on our mortgage but that's the last thing I want to do.

I have contacted the CCCS and they suggested a DMP, in fact they're popping some info out to me in the post. However, am waiting to see what happens with the loan I have applied for first as that's the route I'd prefer to go down if at all possible (i.e. if they'll lend me the money).

Anyway, after my light bulb moment, just the thought of gambling makes me feel quite ill.

The plan if once I have sorted out a loan or DMP I'll be keeping a spreadsheet with my incomings and outgoings so I can monitor my spending properly. I know it's going to be a tough few years but I think it'll teach me a valuable lesson in life