Please help - debt problems

Debt147

Right ok here goes, have been reading other people's posts and thought right I really need help with my debt problems so any advice would be appreciated.

Basically I managed to get myself, I wouldn't say necessarily addicted, but certainly into in quite a big way online gambling after a traumatic family bereavement (partners father killed himself) - I guess it was a way to escape from everything.

As a result I have now racked up debts which I'm struggling with. I haven't told my fiance as I know how disappointed in me he'd be and also he is only just getting back to more like his usual self after all that has happened and I know what a setback this would be for him.

Fiance and I live together but have separate bank accounts (pay our mortgage/bills share into joint account) so my SOA is as follows:

Income:

£1150 per month

Outgoings:

Loan - £250 per month
CC 1 - £150 minimum payment (balance is £7k) 0% interest deal although this is due to finish in a couple of months and it'll then revert to appro 14% APR
CC 2 - £80 minimum payment (balance is £3k) 0% interest deal
Mortgage & Bills - £350
Food/Groceries - £100
DVD Rentals - £10
Dorothy Perkins Card - £5 minimum payment (balance £35)
Travel - £40 (public transport, I don't have a car)
Mobile Phone - £40
Food/treats for pets - £20
My overdraft currently stands at £1,000 also so am being charged interest on that

Although the above shows my outgoings as being a bit less than my income I do like to try and have a bit of a life as well and it'd be good if I could pay more than the minimum off my cards. Basically I'm in a major stress. Both my credit cards are up to their limit and in fact the one I owe £7k on has frozen the card as they know I was using it for gambling.

Anyway I don't really know where to start paying it off. I guess the ideal would be to speak to my bank and try to get a loan from them to cover all my debts - has anyone had experience of doing this? My current loan is with the same company (Virgin) who have frozen my credit card.

I am having so many sleepless nights because of this problem. I know I have been a fool gambling but it just took hold of me and was perhaps the only way I could deal with the bereavement

Any advice would be fantastic

steve700

Debt147 wrote:

Right ok here goes, have been reading other people's posts and thought right I really need help with my debt problems so any advice would be appreciated.

Basically I managed to get myself, I wouldn't say necessarily addicted, but certainly into in quite a big way online gambling after a traumatic family bereavement (partners father killed himself) - I guess it was a way to escape from everything.

As a result I have now racked up debts which I'm struggling with. I haven't told my fiance as I know how disappointed in me he'd be and also he is only just getting back to more like his usual self after all that has happened and I know what a setback this would be for him.

Fiance and I live together but have separate bank accounts (pay our mortgage/bills share into joint account) so my SOA is as follows:

Income:

£1150 per month

Outgoings:

Loan - £250 per month
CC 1 - £150 minimum payment (balance is £7k) 0% interest deal although this is due to finish in a couple of months and it'll then revert to appro 14% APR
CC 2 - £80 minimum payment (balance is £3k) 0% interest deal
Mortgage & Bills - £350
Food/Groceries - £100
DVD Rentals - £10
Dorothy Perkins Card - £5 minimum payment (balance £35)
Travel - £40 (public transport, I don't have a car)
Mobile Phone - £40
Food/treats for pets - £20
My overdraft currently stands at £1,000 also so am being charged interest on that

Although the above shows my outgoings as being a bit less than my income I do like to try and have a bit of a life as well and it'd be good if I could pay more than the minimum off my cards. Basically I'm in a major stress. Both my credit cards are up to their limit and in fact the one I owe £7k on has frozen the card as they know I was using it for gambling.

Anyway I don't really know where to start paying it off. I guess the ideal would be to speak to my bank and try to get a loan from them to cover all my debts - has anyone had experience of doing this? My current loan is with the same company (Virgin) who have frozen my credit card.

I am having so many sleepless nights because of this problem. I know I have been a fool gambling but it just took hold of me and was perhaps the only way I could deal with the bereavement

Any advice would be fantastic

Well done for coming here to get thinsg sorted.

It sounds like having the one CC frozen at 7 grand was a good idea on the bank's part - at least it's limiting you to a degree.

I personally would try and get rid of the Dorothy Perkins card as there's only £35 left to pay off. It reduces your liabilities by one, and then cut the card up and ask them to actually close the account.

Loads more advice to follow, I'm sure.

Good Luck

Steve

hypno06

Hi and welcome.

Have you stopped gambling? That is the first thing that needs tackling, together with any appropriate help for the underlying emotional reasons for starting to gamble in the first place.

Someone will be along who can give you more info, but don't be too proud to get counselling in order to get your head straight. Then the spending side of thing will be much easier as you will be completely focussed and in control.

In the meantime, get a coffee and be ready to make some changes.....!!

BLUESUNSHINE_2

You could ask Virgin if you could take out a loan to pay of the 7k that you owe them . The typical interest rate on a bank loan is around 7%apr which would be half of what you would be paying when it goes back to 14% .

Dvd rentals , do you really need to rent them ? the money you save here would pay your DP store card off in 3-4 months .

mrslawrence2003

1st things 1st. the fact that you have got yourself into financial difficulty clearly indicates that gambling has become a problem for you. before you can even begin to overcome this problem, you have to admit to yourself that you do have a problem, and yes it is an addiction. i can assure you, that until you can admit you have a problem, it will still remain a problem for you.

in this case, i would not, under any circumstances, advise you to try and consolidate your debts, as this would allow you to gain more credit elsewhere and continue gambling.

also, i strongly advise you to confide in your partner. yes, he has recently suffered a difficult time, but you have been there for him havent you? i do not think for one minute, if you confided in him he would turn his back on you. rathermore, i think he would want to help you any way he could. ultimately, lies destroy relationships. even if you dont, and in fact never tell him, it may well end up putting a distance between you both, that will only harm your relationship.

apologies if the above is too harsh, preachy etc.

Debt147

Hi All

Thanks to all of you that have replied so far, some really good advice. Definitely I agree the Dorothy Perkins card has got to go straight away, then like you say it's one thing gone.

With regards to my gambling, yes you're completely right it is an addiction. I have spoken to my Mum and a close friend of mine and that is something that is now going to be addressed with the help and support from them. I have only just admitted to myself that it is an addiction, mainly because I've realised I don't actually enjoy it, in fact it makes me miserable and I do now genuinely want to stop before it gets worse. I have now gone 3 days without gambling, not long I know but for me it's fantastic.

I think once I have got my debts more manageable I will feel more confident speaking to my partner, I suppose I don't want to go to him with the problems and no solutions.

I just don't know where to start with getting my debts sorted. I have a loan with Virgin already which is £12k, I don't know whether to see if I can loan the rest I owe to consolidate everything or whether I should approach my bank (Natwest) to see if they can help me but then if I consolidate everything I think Virgin will charge for early repayment of the loan? I am planning on telling them (whoever I approach regarding a loan) how I have got into the debt - is this wise?

chevalier

There are gamblocks that you can down load, so that you can't even go to a gambling site. Perhaps that would be an aid to your will power.

Can you ebay stuff you are not using?

Usually I would suggest getting a second job to increase your income, but your fiance would be curious as to why you need the money.

There are lots of online sites that offer points/cash for surveys or click throughs. Would take a while to get any money from them, but it would build up over time.

Best of luck
chev

Debt147

Thanks Chev, yes I have some concert tickets I can sell on ebay actually and maybe some clothes etc, will have a look in the house!

Partner does know I'm in debt but not to what extent because my debts are not only down to the gambling (though that is the bulk), have also had to pay for a part time Uni degree and have never been fantastic at budgeting I must admit. Because of the degree it would make it difficult for me to fit in a second job though.

I'm feeling more positive just from coming on here. I feel like I'm not alone.

Have also had a look on the CCCs website to get some advice, have just printed out there debt recovery thing

CLAPTON

while i would strongly advise you to tell your partner about the gambling i would also strongly advise you NOT to tell any financial institution.

Gambling is seen to be very irresponsible behaviour and you will not get much sympathy i'm afraid.

it's fairly unlikely that with your level of debt that you will qualify for a loan at a good rate (you have £10k in CC and how big is the virgin loan?)
so you're best bet is really to get a part time job and concentrate on paying off the debts rather than re-arranging them.

obviously if you can get any LOB deals to transfer the CC debt to then try that but again i think your level of debt may be a problem.

Debt147

Clapton, I think to a certain extent the financial companies I use now, ie. Natwest and Virgin will know about the gambling because with it being online I have of course been transferring money to the gaming sites so I know it'll come up if I book myself in with a review with Natwest which is what I'm considering doing so I think I may not have a choice. Does anyone have any further advice regarding this?

If I went to a different loan company I don't know what excuse I could give for the debt because out of the £23k I owe approx £15k is down to gambling and it's been in a short space of time (2 years since my father in law to be died)

A part time job really is out of the question because I work full time and am doing a University Degree in the spare time that I have - unless anyone has any good experiences/recommendations for anything I could do at home?

I'm definitely going to look into selling some stuff on ebay that could help short term.

I'm really worried that if I go to my partner and tell him about the gambling it might just tip him over the edge of depression after what he's been through. Obviously I have been there for him through this awful time, I know it's not an excuse but I used the gambling as a way to escape, I was having to be so brave at home to support him when really I was struggling to cope myself

CLAPTON

well, look at it this way, suppose you were a banker and someone came to you saying

i earn 14,000 a year
i have debts of 23,000
15,000 is from gambling
i've stopped gambling for three days already.
please lend me more money.

seriously just consider the possiblity they may close / freeze your account rather than offer you a loan.

sorry i'm cant be more helpful but i would advise extreme caution in dealing with the bank, alas they are not there to you help you but to make money ....