Help... life's rubbish :(

mynameissophie

You need to report the assult... You said he was a big man, what if you find out he has done this again to nother smaller girl and she is seriously hurt... How guilty would you feel?! You must make sure you report it so this doesn't happen again! And I am really sorry to hear what you are going through. And i really believe that you can get your life back on track asap.
Big hugs and kisses.
S

BitterAndTwisted

It IS possible to recover from a serious assault. I know, because I was sexually assaulted when I was a child and was raped by a stranger as an adult as well. Crikey, this is the first time in my life I have ever put that in writing. BUT I do not have a partner with an acute psychotic mental health condition, a history of self-harm, gynaecological issues preventing me from being able to work and the absolute penury which can result and a property falling about my ears with no resources to address them. Dear God in heaven, that's a litany of heavy burdens to carry on one small pair of shoulders.

As you have been advised, I think you need to proiritise, if you can, all of the issues in isolation and try to deal with them one at a time by any way that you can think of.

You're not self-harming at the moment, so that's good.

Your GP could choose to refer you to another more sympathetic and helpful consultant, so that's good.

Your partner's condition does not appear to be having an impact on your immediate situation or you'd have mentioned it, so that's good.

You could choose to go to the police about the assault even if they can't do anything concrete about it,. It will have a very positive effect on your feelings of powerlessness to to get that out of the way, so that's good.

All that remains is for this problem with the property to deal with. If your partner owns the property is there any way that it could be remortgaged to access the funds to fix this problem? That also may be good in the end.

Welshwoofs

IMO you need to report the assault to the police or he'll simply get away with it.

Regarding your mental health - it sounds callous but IMO the worst thing you can do if you have mental health issues is hitch your wagon to someone who also has mental health issues. Unless both of you are equally motivated to overcome (or at least manage it well), it can end up with one or the other of you trying to swim with a millstone of a partner constantly dragging you under. It doesn't sound as though someone who has 'violent temper swings' is the best thing for your own well-being. I'd ask yourself whether you'd be happier kicking him to the curb, looking after #1, and moving out of his crumbling house personally.

Your medical problems; well I guess you could ask for a second opinion but ultimately you probably have few choices and it may be a case of managing how you live with it.

BitterAndTwisted

That is true: a series of concatenating problems (if that's right term) would feel like you're heaping Pelion upon Ossa (if that's the right metaphor). I can understand quite well how all of this could be completely overwhelming for the OP on their own

AvatarsAngel87

Thanks again everyone. mynameissophie - you said exactly what my best friend said, I was I suppose in a sense lucky but a smaller girl might not be. Sadly bitterandtwisted, the mortgage is currently in arrears and we're struggling on one wage at the moment, until I go back to work we're going to remain in financial trouble until my wages catch up.
I'm not happy and havent been for a long time, I am scared of my partner and would desperately love to move out. However with no money and feeling the way I do at the minute, it's just not possible.. I've seen where I would like to move to, researched housing and how it would work round my job etc and I really believe moving there would make me happy again. There is light at the end of the tunnel but until I can see a consultant who takes me seriously and can sort me out theres no hope of it coming any nearer.
Thank you everyone - appreciate it xx

BitterAndTwisted

Is there no family member or close friend who could offer you a bedroom, a sofa, space on their carpet for a sleeping-bag until you have made some progress with all of these other issues? Have you talked to your GP about any of them other than the gynae one?

If you are scared of your partner there must be resources out there that you can call upon to extricate yourself from this situation. Womens Aid? Metal health charity? Your Local Authority? Environmental Health? I need to put my thinking-cap on and by God I shall.